Letting go of the disappointment, stuck for solutions, wtf do i do

[Striving for more]

Felt some intense pain because I had anticipated X, for Y years, & I fucked it up, now I can't experience X. 

Been shutdown & low morale all day & I couldn't work today or anything else. 

I'm still shutdown & struglling for solutions. I tried thinking my way out, feeling my way out & doing but the I just ended up doing meaningless tasks like drying my clothes. 

I just wanted X so much, I just forgot to plan, I didn't do pre mortem. Now it's too late. 

I know I can't keep ruminating. But I don't know what to do. 

1. I can't repress my feelings 
2. I can't just be all depressed because that doesn't ge me anywhere and will become a trap 
3. I can't numb myself or avoid it because that doesn't help 
4. I can't think or overthink because thinking is painful right now, I don't want to think about how I fucked up
5. I can't act right now because the psychological shut down got sucked into me like I vacuumed it up, it's in my forehead ect...
6. I've tried working out I ate healthy I listened to about 4 of leos videos on emotional mastery & nothing helped, I tried the feeling in to the pain tehcnique & it didn't help, didn't get rid of it

What do I do? How do I get the winner effect when I've lost?

[Striving for more]

I think I will delete my entire acocunt. 

THis journal has not served me one bit. Wat a catastre. 

Wasted so much time on here. 

 

[Striving for more]

THE SOLUTION = NFP ? 

I'm going to try NFP music & affirmations  to quickly boost my morale & bring forth a proactive state of resourcefulness. 

I will respond later if this works

[Striving for more]

NLP didn't work. 

I don't know how to solve this. I don't know what to do. 

My morale just got crushed, it's irrational but subjective, I had time to have X, Now I'll never have gotten that. 

I just want to drink, I want to want not to, but I don't have a solution, & I can't afford a life coach. 

I won't write long posts, I try to maintain faith that I won't waste more of today, I don't know how I can do it, i'm so crushed, temporarily yes, but this might take me a week, NLP is so over fucking complicated, tried watching a video but im not a computer like wtf I like simple stuff fuck aff bro. 

What do I do? I know what do to, but I need energy, where do I get energy?, I try & love myself but I do love myself otherwise I wouldn't be pissed about not getting/ X which wouldve been good for me 

But if I truly was respecting myself, I'd act. I wouldn't quit, I wouldn't take longer. 

I think im going round in circles, fuk

[Striving for more]

Ok I'm going to try & act again now. 

Try and do the opposite of what I should do, just so hard to focus & be patient right now. 

I'm considering all nighter, lets radically change my environment, lets start now & take some risk, lets build power via social connections, Lets become the fucking boss I was born to be. 

The truth is i'm sad & alone, Need to change this, all my fault, I don't deserve this im stuck no im not time sup block th efou block forum block Weed? I wish makes me cra zy now adays The intuition side is good tho, how do I get that weed intuition sober

[Striving for more]

Still stuck. 

Frozen. 

State now in complete frozen numbness. Very disempowering. Not sure now, lost  

I'm just frozen right now