My Self-actualization Journey

[Zane]

GREAT NEWS!!!!!

My job hunt is coming along EXCELLENTLY so far!!!! I'm lined up for four job interviews this week. My first interview was for a literacy tutoring program in Denver Colorado, my second interview is for a Reading tutoring program in Delaware, my third interview is for a tutoring program in New York, and my fourth interview is for a teaching residency in Nevada. This is great because my job hunt is seeing great results already with the interviews lined up and i'm feeling so pumped up with motivation!!! 

[Zane]

New Habits for Creative Writing 

Creative writing is my daily habit and I'm strongly focus on implementing it every day for this whole year. My goal is to write 5-10 pages a day and I'm focusing on achieving a deep flow state and peak experiences. My new habits consist of drinking coffee before writing to wake up my mind, then listen to a 10 minute creative meditation, and then begin the writing process. I focus on writing Morning Pages to begin the writing through a freewriting session. These habits will be AMAZINGLY effective for my creative writing!! 

[Zane]

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been following through on my New Year's resolution of installing a meditation habit. I meditate for 10 minutes every morning with my eyes closed and while taking deep breaths and focusing on my breathing. I've been doing guided meditations on YouTube. I do my meditation to trigger my creativity before I begin my daily creative writing! I've been 100% committed to daily meditation and creative writing. A major change to my routine is a change in environment where I have a personal space for creativity and not on my bed. I've had some muscle tension since Wednesday but I've still been meditating for 10 minutes. I'm eager for meditation and the great news is that monkey mind isn't disrupting me and I'm able to sit calmly and remind myself "focus on breathing and the feeling of being relaxed." Meditation will be life-transforming! I've been creating a daily log to track my meditation and to make sure I've been doing it every day!! I've been observing how I'm able to stay calm and relaxed for ten minutes without disruption. 

Edited January 14, 2017 by Zane

[Zane]

2017 Is Off To A Great Start

2017 has just started and I'm kicking it off to a great start!!! What I'm most proud of are my creative writing routines and how my productivity is skyrocketing in just the first couple weeks, my new meditation habit, and my job search. For the past couple years, I decided to dedicate my time to creative writing but I had trouble sticking to a routine so I decided to make it a daily habit. To trigger the habit, I wrote out a weekly plan to take action on and I kept a writing log to track my progress. I also started writing downstairs and not on my bed and I write when i'm feeling fully awake. I've been writing 20 pages in a week which is a new record for me that I'm proud of!! I love having a simple plan that is flexible and that allows me to focus on creative freedom with my writing. I'm looking for an outlet to share my creative writing! I'm mastering grounding my ideas in reality by have a concrete strategy to implement the ideas rather than just have an idea floating in my mind. For my meditation habit, I dedicate every day to meditation where I sit in my chair and listen to a guided meditation for 10 minutes. I'm realizing that my mind isn't disrupting me while I'm meditating and meditation is going smoothly for me where I just focus on closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. I'm focusing on relaxing my mind and body and just enjoying the meditation without resisting it! I'm really proud of meditating without monkey mind sabotaging the meditation and seeing it as a source of relaxation rather than harsh mental self-discipline. It's a great sign realizing that I'm eager and excited for my meditation practice. 

[Zane]

Motives for Meditation 

Meditation is one tool of many in my toolbox for self-actualization. I want to meditate not out of obligation but out of genuine desire. I see meditation as focusing on relaxing my mind and to truly savor the richness of life by creating happiness through simplicity and as a tool to skyrocket my creativity and create the flow state where I get so deeply immersed in my creativity that time flows by. Guided meditation is an AMAZING way to deeply immerse myself in my imagination so I can be refreshed and inspired to create without feeling writer's block. I see meditation as creating the peak experiences and flow states of self-actualization so I can have a taste of self-actualization. Meditation is also a great way of being calm and grounded in life and not being overwhelmed and stressed out by petty feuds, drama and all that arbitrary bullshit. I meditate to have a calm and sane mind in a divided world going mad! 

Edited January 18, 2017 by Zane

[Zane]

NEW RECORD FOR MEDITATION

It's only Thursday and I broke my time record for meditation!!!!!!! Last week, in total, for the entire week I meditated for 130 minutes and this week, I totaled the time I spent meditating and I meditated for 153 minutes so far and the week isn't even over yet!!!! I'm making HUGE progress with my meditation which could be a sign that my meditation habit is fully installed and that meditation doesn't feel like a chore but a genuine passion. Maybe meditation is one of my deep passions and I'm fully realizing it now!!! IT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it possible that meditation is my Zone of Genius? If yes, than what is my authentic Zone of Genius and how deep does it go? 

Edited January 19, 2017 by Zane

[Zane]

Realization about Meditation

WOW!!!!!! I just looked at Leo's meditation and I'm realizing how meditation embodies the paradox of being simple yet deep. Meditation is simple yet deep because it applies to Mastery, Just Do It, Happiness, Patience, Motivation, Self-actualization, Inner/Outer World Distinction, Deliberate Practice, Failure Is Good, Positive Thinking, Emotional Awareness, being a Creator, Being Proactive, Flow, Kaizen, Mind Power, Goal Setting, Habit Building, Momentum, States vs Stages, Learning=Behavior Change, Sedona Method, Shadow Work, Law of Attraction, Subconscious Mind, Willpower, Identity Level Change, Creating Mood, Nominalized Identity, Block Time, Theory vs Practice Ratio, Enlightenment, Outcome-Independence, Emotional Labor, Challenging Yourself, Lifelong Learning, Delayed Gratification, Being Present, Visualization, Affirmations, Contemplation, Knowing Yourself, and Creative Process. Meditation is the process of training your mind by teaching the mind to calm down and to be still by observing thoughts and emotions. All of these connections shows how vast and deep meditation is yet it's deceptively simple. 

[Zane]

Feelings about the Future

Today is Trump's inauguration and its so hard for me to say that with a straight face! I can't deny it! Trump will be our next President! Trump outrages me on so many levels but my deepest anger is how he embodies everything that is a perversion of my greatest passions. Trump embodies the true ugliness of grandiosity and narcissism in America ESPECIALLY Corporate America with the lust for money and power.

Trump is my bully if he was given power!!

He's the worst kind of bully!!

The bully with impunity!! 

If I met Trump when I was younger, I can see him as the domineering bully who would beat me up and mock me for being "crazy," "weirdo" or a "loser" for my esoteric passions of creativity, storytelling, and movies. I can see him and his cronies chasing me and beating me up and faking "niceness" to me only to humiliate me horribly! 

However, Trump is monstrous yet fascinating! 

What makes him so fascinating is how he is an embodiment and a deep metaphor and a perversion of Americana!! He's such a force of personality and he has the freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I strongly admire people with that limitless power and freedom but I'm specifically referring to my role models consisting of Tim Burton, Neil Gaiman, Laika Studios and Quentin Tarantino who have deep passion, a creative genius, a visionary mindset, and that complete confidence in their crazy ideas!! They're unapologetic for their craziness and they fully embrace it!! They have the freedom to create something that embodies deep passions and they are so in love with their craft!! While i love how laidback and relaxed Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman could be and how passionate Tarantino is. I admire them for their geek pride and how they fully embrace their passions unapologetically!!

There's something admirable about unapologetic authenticity!! 

However, while Trump is unapologetically himself, that's EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!!!! He fully embraces being an asshole and celebrates humanity's worst qualities.

He's a perversion of authenticity!!! 

He's the Internet Troll who excuses being an asshole as "I did it for the lulz" "I'm just being honest!" "stop being a whiny SJW" 

However what Trump shows me is how I have a yuge (as he would say) advantage over him!!!

My advantage is that I'm focusing on creating an AMAZING self-actualized life based on purpose, passion, personal values, and guided by a vision to create that life for myself!!

The AMAZING news is the progress I'm making!!

Yesterday, I got accepted into Nevada Teaching Corps and i have an phone interview later today for a teaching opportunity in New Orleans which I'm proud of!! I have so much to grateful for and excited for and 2017 is already becoming a great year!! 

I will focus on embodying the great qualities of my role model with that freedom, creativity, passion, and chutzpah and I will embrace it unapologetically!!!! I will embody Tim Burton, Neil Gaiman and all my role models!!!

I WILL RESIST TRUMP BY BEING F@CKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I'M NOT SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[Zane]

Realizations I've Had 

I remember how a couple Thanksgivings ago in 2014, the majority of the teenagers at Thanksgiving dinner were on their phones. It was then I realized how detached I feel from people ESPECIALLY people my age and how lonely I've felt. The truth is with these people I struggle deeply to talk to them because of the complete lack of chemistry or mutual passions. If I tried explaining my mind and my crazy ideas, I would be laughed at. However, I realized that around my true friends, I can be an effortless socializer. I notice how EASILY I gravitate towards bubbly and highly creative people ESPECIALLY theater students or actors. At my college theater and my favorite theater in Arlington VA, I'm beloved by the cast because of how bluntly and unapologetically I express my energy. I notice how around mellow and laidback introverts, I become WAY LESS awkward because i feel completely at ease. Introverts AMAZE me because while they appear quiet, they have AMAZING minds. I notice how at my college, I made some of the best friends in my life and I realize that i vibe easily with misfits. For example, an introverted girl who was a traveler and former actress and photographer struggling with depression completely opened up to me and cuddled me and truly showed me deep love and that felt AMAZING!!!!!! I see that potential within her!!! Around my true friends, i can say "I love you" completely genuinely with no apologies. If I can date any fictional character or celebrity it would be Belle, Coraline, Ramona Flowers, and if any actress Zooey Deschanel, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter or Emma Watson. Why these characters and actresses? It's because of my deep attraction to eccentric, intelligent, and beautiful and purpose-driven. I tend to get easily attracted to artists, comedians, Mature Souls and Old Souls. I'm fully confident that I will discover my soul mate! I'm getting closer and closer and i realize that soul friends and soul mates do exist! 

[Zane]

Starting from Scratch

During August 2016, I met a girl through the dating website OkCupid and I felt a rush of passion because of the passions we shared for similar movies and travel. We talked on Facebook from August to October and we were hitting it off GREAT!!!!!! It always put me in a great mood and lifted my spirits. We even arranged to have a couple Skype chats and those went very well! However, one night after a Skype chat, I unintentionally upset her when I pointed out how our chat was a tad "awkward." For the rest of the week I didn't message her because she was really sick and at first, I worried that I did something wrong. A week later she enthusiastically messaged me back and we arranged to meet in person in October. Our first meeting almost fell through because of her financial issues but during early October, we arranged to meet for coffee! We were able to meet and it was SO EXCITING when she instantly recognized and greeted me with a passionate attack hug. As we walked together, we held hands warmly together and it felt wonderful. However, she was under stress because she ran out of money and was looking for a parking space so we parked at my house. We went out to coffee together but she was detached and barely responsive during our coffee meeting and I focused on trying to cheer her up. When we got back home, she lay on my bed with me and we cuddled. It was such an AMAZING and powerful experience where an AMAZING new side of her opened up when she roleplayed as Harley Quinn, the Joker's girlfriend and it was amazing!!! She started french kissing me and I called her my "twitchy witchy girl" in a sweet pet name way. When she was leaving, i gave her a final hug and kiss. Then later that night she told me that she enjoyed spending time with me but when I mentioned theater, i unintentionally made her sad because she had a passion for it and lost it due to a lot of stress and she wanted some space for awhile. I waited for the rest of the month and we messaged each other occasionally but we lost that spark! I messaged her a few times during Christmas and New Years to wish her a good holiday and she responded simply. To start off the New Year, one of my main goals was to restart our friendship on a clean slate and unfortunately, she told me "you're too good for me! I'm not your kind of girl! I can't compete with your passion and energy!" Honestly, I don't feel crushed or angry by this because there's no point in raging at her, blaming her, or lashing out. She's going through a hard time and I just want to be a good friend! Maybe it's best that we split on good terms so I can give her space! I genuinely love her and I feel like she loves me but she's deeply aware of her low self-esteem and she has been through a lot of inner pain and stress in her life. I realize that I have a deep compassion for her and if i let her go, it would freeing to us both. I want her to realize her inner potential and I wanted to help be her light and have hope for her own future. I think she needs to take massive action for personal development! However, she didn't break up with me out of spite or anger, I think she did it because she didn't want to hurt me with her baggage and not drag me into it! For that, I commend her! Though i do wish her all the best and a good life! I realize that dating her was something i don't regret at all because it brought me much closer to self-actualization and reminded me of what peak experiences, flow, and finding a soulmate could be like. 

 

This is a sneak preview to self-actualization!!!! 

What I need to do is to focus on moving on and forgiving her, enjoying life, discovering purpose and happiness, and keep on living and being creative! It's a waste of time for self-pity! I realize that the people i vibe the most deeply with tend to struggle with mental illness and feel like social misfits and "weird." Maybe i gravitate to the misfits because we both have deep passion within us and we strongly identify with Tim Burton. 

My strategy is to continue seeking out my soul mate but focus on creating a social circle! i need to choose self-actualized people who feel like misfits but who have a passion and energy for life and who are AWESOME people!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm on the discovery path and I'm excited to follow the path to see where it goes! 

What could happen next? 

[Zane]

MEDITATION BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had one of my BEST meditation sessions EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! I did a meditation to lucid dreaming binaural beats and I had a deep trance state where my eyes got really heavy and closed and it felt like I was in a deeply relaxing sleep. Has anyone who meditated had that trance state before? If so, what is the trance a sign of? Is the trance a sign of progress for something much better? 

[Zane]

Breakthroughs For Creative Writing and Meditation 

2017 IS GOING GREAT SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I made HUGE progress on my creative writing portfolio and my meditation habit. For my creative writing portfolio, I have 100 pages written so far and I'm impressed by that!!! I think what contributed to that high productivity was morning meditation and morning coffee which are my rituals to release my creativity by awakening the mind from sleep. It makes me want to go even farther and do even better with my creative writing! I've had a few blockages but i was able to write something! For my meditation habit, I've been meditating consistently and every day and my current meditation time is 11 hours which is breaking the record I expected. I expected to meditate for 10 minutes a day or 20 minutes a day but I divide my meditation sessions into a day and night session. I notice how I'm mastering my creative writing portfolio and my meditation habit and I''m trying to figure out the psychology behind it. Why have I been so committed to creative writing, meditation, and took my first job offer in just a few weeks? IT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! I highly doubt that it has anything to do with luck!! I want to know the secret behind my success!! 

[Zane]

The Top Ten Things You Want But Don't Know You Want

I'm watching Leo's Top Ten Things You Want and I realized that I'm achieving a few of these things on the list but I realize that I could go farther

1. Reality feeling magical 

This happens to me whenever I'm walking outside on a beautiful sunny day and thoughts aren't disrupting me or disturbing me. It feels like my mind is clear and deeply relaxed and I'm focusing on the sunshine and I'm just enjoying it. It feels like all the mental fog and monkey chatter has lifted. It's like a baby blue sky that's sunny and all the fluffy white clouds are out. Reality also feels magical when i recapture that childhood feeling of being so deeply immersed in a movie or story that time flows by. Reality feels magical when i'm watching an AMAZING theater production and i'm speechless with awe. I also feel it when i feel deeply relaxed while meditating and it recaptures that feeling of sleeping like a baby. I've also been focusing on mindfully savoring tea and coffee and re-connecting with how delicious it is. 

2. Things to be completely effortless

I'm focusing on making my creativity, happiness, and bliss feel completely effortless where it just flows by and I don't feel blocked or exhausted at all. I'm focusing on achieving that peak experience state and flow state but i want to know how to achieve it where i get so immersed and hyperfocused that time just flows by and it doesn't feel like i'm rushing to beat the clock. 

3. Authenticity 

At the theater and on the mic where I recite my poetry, this is where my authenticity SHINES!!! I'm starting to cut through the bullshit of the inner critic and the fear of humiliation by just getting up on stage and creating what I want when i want. I deeply desire having a devil may care attitude where I have the freedom and the power to do what i want and be intoxicated with life's joys and cut loose and be spontaneous. 

4. Dispassionate Mind 

I realize that my mind tends to fall deeply in love with ideas, stories, and academic fields but what I'm focusing on is relaxing my mind and detaching from thoughts through meditation. My meditation is just sitting in a chair deeply relaxed and just focusing on the moment without the mind going into monkey mind. There's nothing wrong with the mind or ego or thoughts. The mind, ego, and thoughts can be beneficial but also deceptive. I want to focus on training my ego and mind and using it to my advantage rather than an enemy. 

5. Full soberness/lucidity

I want to wake up in the morning feeling completely motivated and ready for an awesome day rather than waking up feeling exhausted and dreading Monday. I want to wake up feeling like it's Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I want to feel completely awake and with no mental fog or feeling exhausted. 

6. The desire to be nobody

An alternative to that want is having a fluid sense of identity and self-image where identity is in a state of flux and that you can create and customize identity however you want to. You can program yourself with beliefs and mindsets and emotions and passions and skills and you can focus on experimenting with a wide variety of identities rather than settling on an identity or clinging to an identity. You can even choose to be a blank slate but it's one option out of many. Identity is the canvas and you are the painter who is free to do whatever you want to with the canvas. 

7. Samahdi 

Samadi is a potential state that I can achieve during meditation but I'm just getting started on meditation as a daily habit and as a tool for self-actualization. Altered states of consciousness is a possibility that I'm far away from but in the coming months or a year, I could have a profound experience!!! 

8. Truth

I'm fascinated by discovering my authentic self and what my true passions are and what's my best life path. I'm focusing on balancing discovery with raw experience with researching rather than solely relying on rationality. For my self-actualization, i'm willing to use a wide variety of resources. 

9. Benevolence 

For benevolence, I'm focusing on becoming a teacher for lower income students and struggling students in Las Vegas. However, my authentic benevolence would probably come from a place of comedy and desire to make people laugh, to fascinate and intrigue people, and to make them think. 

10. Simple and natural lifestyle

In Las Vegas, when i move, i will focus on living a rich and fulfilling life but by carving out large areas of free time and using the free time to take nature trips to Lake Meade, Red Rock, Grand Canyon or Zion National Park. I want to deeply immerse my life in passions and rich experiences but also focusing on relaxing so I have time to create, meditate, and contemplate. I want to focus on making my life feeling like those childhood vacations and 100% freedom and flexibility over my life. I strongly value freedom and flexibility over life! 

 

Here are my deepest desires 

1. Being authentic and having a fluid and detached sense of identity and beliefs where my ego is completely flexible and open to new ideas. My vision for my authentic self is the lovable comedian with an aura of charisma that comes deeply from his passion and being uninhibited and free from all the internal and external restraints. I create and act based on intuition and merging my heart and my mind into one! My authentic self is effortlessly creativity!

2.  Being free to create my life and my identity and my mind however I want to! My mind is detached from absolutes and shoulds and embraces new experiences and adventures, paradox, uncertainty, expanding consciousness but who also sees the benefit of comfort as a tool rather than rejecting the comfort zone. 

3. Having the personal power of a billionaire and an artist who does what he wants whenever he wants and who has abundance and is anti-scarcity mindset. He is free to live life his own way with nobody controlling him. He has the impunity and the confidence to act on any vision like a Tim Burton or Quentin Tarnatino.

4. To live a richly fulfilling life where i was able to be truly limitless.  

[Zane]

How Travel Pushes Your Comfort Zone 

Whenever i travel to a city like New York, I realize how it causes the bubble of the comfort zone and the ego to burst!! New York can feel chaotic and overwhelming to someone who is very sheltered and it will pressure you to adapt to changing conditions. For example, in the subway, the unexpected always happens like delays, track work, changing lanes, and other situations and you have to improvise a solution rather than get complacent and cling to your original plans. A weekend in New York is both an adventure and a test of character that tests you to see how well you can adapt to change and how street smart and clever you are. For example, Times Square can be alluring with it's lights and billboards but you need to be vigilant of scams and just keep moving forward. In just two days in New York, I had explored the city, saw a great musical, explored Central Park and Brooklyn, went to the Stonewall protest, and explored Times Square all in two days! Rather than be scared and overwhelmed by change, I learn how to roll with the punches and just be flexible with change. New York gives me a deep craving and a high for adventure!!! It's one of those experiences where you fear yet you long for more of! It hits you with huge nostalgia and it shows how you to make the best of your life in just two days. Travel, i discovered, can be one of the greatest paths to self-actualization because it teaches you how to be in and embrace and make the best of different situations. I realize that I have an adventurous spirit in me and how a simple weekend can be packed with adventure! I'm in my early 20s and this is the GREATEST opportunity for adventure. I think the theme of 2017 is Carpe Diem ESPECIALLY with my new move to Las Vegas this summer which is another great leap forward. 

[Zane]

Dynamic Balance

What I really want to focus on in my self-actualization is the comfort zone and how to use it as a tool or something that should be reframed into something new or eliminated entirely or radically restructured. The comfort zone can have it's benefits of security and stability but it can also be fragile and it can greatly hold you back. The comfort zone can be a useful tool to remind you when you're going too far. For example, i made the mistake of overloading on credits at school and paradoxically, it killed my productivity and it put me in a deep state of neurotic stress and I had to scale back and reduce my course load to 12 credits to save my sanity. If i stayed put in my 100-level credits and didn't challenge myself, than my ego would be completely incapable of handling the challenge of 300 level and 400 level classes. Fortunately, i pushed myself to take 300 and 400 level classes but I focused on maintaining my minimalist schedule and I made it work. I still used mobilized my resources to succeed in the classes but i still had struggles in 300 and 400 level classes and sometimes i did even better than expected. I realize that one of my greatest strengths is dynamic balance and still taking on challenges but working with my comfort zone to maintain balance. I decided to make the move this Summer to Las Vegas to start a whole new chapter of my life after my era of going to a Quaker college. In Vegas, it will be challenging but i will focus on simplifying the challenge. Recently, i've been opening to the possibility of daily meditation and now I'm on my fifth week of meditation. Rather than go to the extreme of Strong Determination Sitting for several hours, I focus on the strategy of smaller meditation sessions throughout the day. I meditate for 20 minutes or more in the morning and for around 5-10 minutes at noon, and 20 minutes at night and by the end of the day, I total my meditation time and learned that I meditated roughly for 40 minutes to an hour. I notice that I'm able to stick to this habit by simplifying my meditation sessions rather than doing one long session in one sitting or by sitting in lotus pose or on my knees under my knees go numb or taking meditation classes. I focus simply on sitting in a chair for 10 to 20 minutes and breathing deeply while listening to a guided meditation or binaural beats or ambient music/nature sounds. I notice how that's a valid path to deep relaxation! For my Creative Writing Portfolio, i've been very inconsistent with my results by having some very successful writing days on some days but forgetting to write on other days. The approach i took to resolve it was to focus on daily consistency by having a daily log and that's been working successfully for me. It helps me maintain productivity and also go beyond my quota! I sometimes have blocks but I still write and focus on reducing blocks rather than getting forgetful and complacent for long periods of time. I notice how I've been learning how to take strategic action without going to one extreme of being way too lost in theory or the other extreme of taking action blindly without any clue of what i'm doing. I'm focusing on being strategic with taking action and seeing procrastination and the comfort zone as both a tool and a pitfall without demonizing either of them. I'm learning how to create my results on my own terms and discovering the best ways how to create results. One approach I learned is being strategic in your action approach, flexible and willing to change, but also taking a balanced approach. 

[Zane]

Leo's Foundation Video 

It's been two weeks since I last journaled but I just watched Leo's Foundation Video and i had some great insights. I'm actually making much better structural progress than I thought. 

1. My Twenties Journal and Happiness List are my most powerful and profound tools because it created the foundation of my life. It focuses on both the small fish and the big fish to fry. It focuses on the good in my life happening just now or that happened in the past and my vision of the future, what i'm excited for, my aspirations, my purpose and my values. The Twenties Journal is my voice and form of my intuition. The journal is helpin my mastering my intuition not just by hearing to it and listening to it but releasing it from my mind, transcribing it, and acting on it. 

2. Daily creative writing where I focus on creating something new everyday. It's simple but so rewarding and fulfilling because it connects to my purpose of storytelling. A new structural change i can make is to create an intution incubator to make creativity effortless. Like a mental idea factory! 

3. Daily meditation habit. It gives me freedom over my mind and I've been sticking to the habit daily and it feels effortless. I keep smashing new records every week. 

4. To prepare for the PRAXIS exam, I focus on daily practice to master the test 

5. Daily reading of a book i love! Focus on reading for an hour or more a day and the faster you read. Focus on reading voraciously! 

6. Going outside everyday and seeking out adventures and new experiences 

7. Creating a whole new foundation from scratch by moving to Las Vegas! 

[Zane]

Meditation Breakthrough

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN MEDITATING 52 HOURS TOTAL SINCE JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's AMAZING how I've been eagerly looking forward to meditation!!!!! It makes me want to push meditation to the limit and to learn more deeply and concretely about meditation!! My new intention is to deepen my meditation and to take it to EVEN MORE amazing levels. Using Leo's microscope analogy, i can go even deeper and more intense with meditation!! 

[Zane]

New Book Reading Habit

I've been focusing on a new habit of daily reading for pleasure and i realized that by giving myself 90 minutes a day on a book or an hour a day, I can breeze through a book in just a few days. I'm focusing on the new habit of daily reading for an hour, to 90 minutes or two hours a day. The books i'm reading now are highly inspirational and charge me with laughter, passion, and awe and it re-captures that deep investment i had in books! I'm focusing on re-capturing the joy of reading after getting so detached from that joy through mandatory reading for college classes! 

I WILL BE A DEVOURER AND ABSORBER OF BOOKS!!!!! 

Edited February 21, 2017 by Zane

[Zane]

Re-Capturing The Flow of Reading 

As a child, I would get so deeply immersed in books that the world within in the book felt like reality. When i read a book, watch a movie or a play, or listen to music, it truly feels like a trip to a whole new world that embodies deep self-expression. However, in college, I remember the mandatory reading for my classes and feeling detached from the books. I felt like I lost touch with that original state of deep immersion and flow! For 2017, I decided to stop making reading feel like a chore and re-connect with the Inner Muse. So In 2017, i vowed to dedicate myself to daily reading and make it my new meditation habit. February is ending and i'm already on my third book "Wherever You Go There You Are." I've been focusing my reading on self-help books particularly on books about rejection and passion. When I read "Rejection Proof" and "A Passion for the Possible" I had a "WOW" and "HELL YES" moments where i strongly identified with the author's message. I'm focusing on creating a reading ritual and for my first two books, I would be in a deep flow of reading on some days but forgot on other days. The changes i made was to read for an hour, or 90 minutes or 2 hours a day in intervals to make the reading flow by. I'm focusing on taking notes of my favorite passages from the books when I finish reading. On the third book I'm reading, I've read the book for a day and i read 120 pages which i completely unexpected because i was deeply immersed in the flow of the book. I realized that flow can apply AMAZINGLY to reading and my intention is to be a voracious bookworm who can devour through a book or two in a week and 5 or more books in a month. I want to re-capture that obsession I had for books as a child! 

[Zane]

Another Date!!

I'm focusing on my social life and my vision is to transform my social skills and truly discover my authentic self. After the first date and the girl being disinterested, I tried another girl and I had my date today and it went GREAT!!!!!! This girl has the eccentricity, dry sarcasm, and my passion that i deeply desire but there's something that we share together that's truly profound. In a way, we're both misfits but we're bound together by an authenticity and a desire for creativity and that's something i've been seeking out for years. I realized that it's entirely possible for me to not only master socializing but be completely authentic with it and not cling to social scripts. My date told me that my conversation topics radically stood out and that's the highest compliment i could get. I realized that my date and i both have this deep self-expression and to me, that authenticity, is true sexiness.