Lost

[uriel]

I'm lost.

I'm with a woman who I love dearly, who I don't know whether I want to be with.

She may want kids. I probably don't.

She's older than me.

I'm a long-time mystic with an amount of gnosis.

In being with this woman, resolving this aspect of my life into perpetuity - am I dying a small death?

In embracing gnosis, must one transcend the conditions of the world?

And stop always chasing endless 'adventure'?

Or can you have it all?

I don't know.

Why am I here?

I understand more when I don't rely on 'gurus'.

Understanding is more than can be ever expressed in words. 

Or communicated with words.

[Moksha]

You're a mystic, ask yourself. The only real answers arise from within. Oh, and welcome to the forum

For what it's worth, every moment is a small death. You are already dying and being reborn as you read this. Loving someone dearly isn't something to take for granted. Only you can answer whether the love is worth whatever cost that comes with it.

One thing for sure: chasing endless adventure is the classic Don Quixote self-deception. You will never arrive, or if you do, the destination won't last. The answer to life is already inside of You, in the Now. Celebrate every step of the journey, wherever that journey takes you.