theottomanlegend

Integrating my recent psychedelic experience

2 posts in this topic

Hey guys!

6 months ago, I tripped on 350 ug of LSD with a friend of mine, The initial part of the trip went well, with themes of brotherhood, tribe, loyalty emerging and I felt like I was playing the most epic video game of my life. The setting was great as well since we were in a beautiful mountainous place in Pakistan. 

What wasn't so great about the set and setting was that I never really had a deep connection with my friend, although we are childhood friends. We also chose a bad time to trip because the place was very crowded.

During the onset of my trip, I wanted to get away from people and away we got. But when we had to head back for the camp, we were still tripping and I was totally into the experience. What I didn't realize was that all this time, the people camping and living in the hotels next to us were looking at us and making fun of us with their groups. My sense of hearing was quite amazing and I could pick up on the exact words they were saying. It started getting to me, to a point where my knees started to shake because of the sense of ridicule I felt. What was wose was the fact that my friend noticed this and started getting away from me. I never felt more abandoned and though was able to regain composure, I wasnt really able to hold on it and cried myself to sleep.

Some insightful aspects of the trip were that some deeply rooted insecurites came upfront, I witnessed non-dual states where I was one with the environment and my mind was out there if that makes sense. 

I had been struggling with building my confidence, self-esteem up and this, coupled with some other experiences has really induced a fear of ridicule in me. 

I have been actively going out and approaching women in a sort of self exposure therapy. I get particularly intimidated when I get challenged, or when I see men in the surrounding. 

Could you please tell me how we can integrate difficult psychedelic experiences like these?

Thanks!

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Maybe do microdose trips for a while to recall some of those same feelings as this big trip you had. And continue meditating. Talking with someone usually helps. Journaling also helps.

You are your best guide.


"Yes is the answer... And you know that! Fasho!

Yes is surrender! You gotta let it... you gotta let it GO!" - John Lennon, Mind Games

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