Mixed feelings/opinions in different situations?

[QandC]

Hi everyone. I wanna get your advice on something that has been bothering me for quite a long time but I have been kind of scared to admit to myself. It's about the way that I state opinions about certain things, whether it's politics or philsophy or culture or whatever; my opnion changes based on the situation I am in and based on the people I am around.

I don't feel like one side is more true than the other either, it's just like my personality completly changes based on my environment. I can see from multiple perspectives equally and fully understand it and feel it as if it was true to myself. It has gotten to the point where I don't even know what I actually believe in. 

To make it more clear, let's take a very simple example (made-up example for the sake of clarification)...

Let's say that I am with my family and I start having a discussion about science with my dad, suddenly I start actually defending science and making arguments for why it's very practical and necessary to know about and all the good things about science, while he might argue in a different way. And then let's say I am with my friends, and we start discussing science, and suddenly my opinion completely changes and I start giving a more spiritual perspective and argue to why I do not think science is as necessary and important as we might think it is, and why we should focus more on the spiritual aspect of life (as what my dad argued for before). And then when I am just with myself, the two opinions become totally equal and I cannot really see any of the two sides as true/false, they just both share truth and falsehood. 

This makes people not really understand what I stand for and it makes it seem like I am constantly contradicting myself, although I do not feel like I actually am because I hate the idea that a person has to be a certain thing and stand for something specific, instead of just being a freeflowing experience being able to take part in any perspective.

The thing that bothers me though is my emotional attachment to both sides when I am in a specific situation. Why do I get triggered in one situation and then in another triggered in the completely opposite way? Am I just not standing for any opinion, am I being objective, is this an ego thing or what is actually going on here?

This is not just regarding any subject, this regards almost everything in my life depending on the time of the day, the people I am with, the country I am in or whatever situational attribution is occurring. I feel kind of split in my personality, but still when I am with and for myself I feel totally objective and I can take a step back and just observe and be able to see a slight truth in everything. However in social situations I am never congruent.

Anyone else experienced this? How do I actually know what my "true" opinion is when everything feels totally equal?

Edited December 27, 2020 by QandC

[No Self]

Definitely relatable.

I think I try - where possible - and offer a counterpoint/contrarian perspective in every possible situation to encourage people to expand out of their closed-minded bubbles. My subconscious intention is probably creating a more enlightened world so I would feel more accepted and less of a misfit. I don't know how effective this is - probably creates the opposite of what my mind intends.

Edited December 27, 2020 by No Self