I Have No Idea What I Am Doing (for Now)

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Hey everyone! :3

This is sort of a journal on my self-actualization journey and since I am quite new to this field, I have no idea what I am doing in terms of self-actualizing (to be honest in everything as well). However, things will definitely change over the time and I will know where to ground myself! For now, it is a lot of experimenting and trying hard.

A bit myself, I guess:

My name is Rita, currently 19 and I have lots of cool stories to tell :D But long story short, I lived in 4 different countries (plus travelled on top of that) and now finally settled down. I am studying in university and planning to work in video game industry. I gained lots of cool experiences during my travels and learned lots of new things, but hey, there is still a lot to learn and improve on!

For the readers:

Just to let some of you know, this journal is meant to be more or less fun as I tend to take many things with ease, but this is not to say that I am obviously not going to be all light-headed. I want you to enjoy this journal as much I want to enjoy it myself! I just reckoned it would be nice to have some sort of feedback mechanism to see how I am doing with my actualization work. So yes, thank you for passing by!


So for my journey I outlined the most important things I want to work on. Now this might be a temporally lay out how I go about my journey. I tend to change it A LOT; if it does not work for me chuck it out of the window. But I think the current structure I am going for should be alright, for my current challenges.

The areas I am working on:

1.       Health:

  • I regularly do running, yoga, pilates and also fencing
  • I keep low-acid, low-sugar and high protein diet
  • I work on my problematic posture

2.       Career related:

  • Preparing my portfolio
  • Working on my university stuff

3.       Other projects:

  • Other projects I pick up; they are not obligatory, their purpose is to keep my mind fresh
  • This includes things like: drawing every day, learning how to use new software, coding in different language etc

4.       Self-actualization work:

  • Which consists of working on:
  1. Low Self-esteem
  2. Constant Procrastination
  3. Perfectionism Issue
  4. Fear of Death
  5. Better Life

Now, this is a lot to work on and focusing on one thing is quite effective. But lots of things on this list are extremely interconnected, one causes the other. However, I will approach them in a very focused way and bit by bit get there. Hopefully, it will work :D

The way I structure my journey:

This journal is mainly all about self-actualizing, so it will be concentrating on the five areas (the self-actualizing areas mentioned prior). I would dedicate one week to work on one of these areas. Selecting the area would depend what is happening currently in my life, so for example, having exams soon would mean it is the perfect time to try to beat the procrastination issue. Sometimes I would be improving one single area for more than one week just due to circumstances.

Further, this journal is going to be a way to write insights down and look at where I am at it now with self-actualizing work. I do not set my goal to update it every day; while I will be committed to update the journal, I do not want to end up squeezing out writing from myself. If I have an insight or I want to say something, I will write it here! Nevertheless, it will be obligatory for me to update my journal at least once a week (I set Sunday evening for now) where I will be basically reporting my numbers. So did I meditate enough, how my diet went, did I achieve goals I wanted to achieve? It will be more of an assessment.



This is going to be followed by very long detailed explanation on the five areas of self-actualization and self-improvement I am working on >:3


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