(How) Should I remind myself that I am the creator

[Persipnei]

I'm up to date on the view that reality is created in our own mind, or better, The Mind. I'm really good in grasping abstract stuff and it looks more logic than what we call "reality". There is a difference between grasping it and deeply knowing it off course...

I first dabbled in "spritualism" about 15-20 years ago, but I was a junkie, so didn't get very far, but... I did manage to hear about the power of intention and I tried it out. I was on some gathering and hadn't had a girl in a while, was lonely, ... I pulled myself together and without really knowing what I was doing, I wished that somebody would be attracted to me. The day after, I kid you not, a woman in her late fifties (I was 20 something) comes to me and almost tries to rape me. I literaly run away...

A few months later, I'm on another gathering, I wish for the same thing, but clearly 'in my age category'. Day after: a boy hitting so hard on me, you have no idea...

The moments themselves I was amazed, but I quickly forgot the wonder of it and saw it as luck.

Years later, I have been single again for way too long and one day I try it again. This time I am very specifically. I had a list of 25 physical traits, characteristics, interests, ... and "the encounter should go easy, since I am not able to start a conversation...".

Monday comes, train full of people, I have to sit in that little space between the toilet and two wagons. A man enters the toilet and starts smoking there. I stand up to evade the smoke, have to almost sit on a nice looking girl, we start talking and one and a half year later she bore already our first son.

Again, struck in awe! But then years of being a family happened, wasn't ready for that, aaaand I forgot the awe.

This week I had multiple interesting conversations, here and elsewhere about existence and some things clicked. Today I observed and projected very carefully and man, there was so much to see :-) A few days ago, this was a notion of possibility, now it is more like an "off course, dude, what more proof do you want".

I realized I have never really observed before and at the same time I have always done, but not consciously. I have a feeling observing and intention is way more efficient than meditation to make a serious jump? At this moment it feels like the secret that has never been thought to me (but I'm sure Leo covered it already, haven't seen all of it).

[Persipnei]

And a follow up question: If I start creating consciously, and I still have fears (who doesn't), they will be right in my face, will they?

Edited October 6, 2020 by Persipnei
will they, not won't

[susanyzm]

The encounter with your wife is serendipity!

I did this meditation this morning and it has helped to visualize how I can use the universe energy. This body and mind is like a high-intelligent robot that fulfills the purpose from God. 

My current projection is a lean and strong body. I focus my energy on it, manifest it, and then move on to the next creation. It makes life a fun game to play!