How do you grow up a red?

[Daneel]

So, I have this colleague who acts like a spiral dynamics stage red much of the time. He's impulsive, manipulative, calls everyone else an idiot, bullies and talks crap about everyone as if he's mentally stuck in elementary school, takes pleasure in hurting people by his own admission etc... he's not always like that, but way too often.

He's in his late 20's and is quite intelligent, and that's the main reason anyone would respect him and keep him employed. He knows on some level that this behaviour really doesn't serve him and mostly gets him in trouble. But his level of thinking is far from sophisticated, he rationalizes his behaviour in childish ways, says things like "I'm just evil". He's not incapable of remorse or shame and it's obviously something he struggles with.

I was watching Leo's videos on Youtube and it really helped put words to some things, I do sympathize with him a bit and recognise that behaviour in myself as a child. The last bully I knew in school I shoved into a locker a couple times until he gave up, but I'm not that impulsive anymore and I'm not sure that would work as well this time. I can't be arsed looking for a better job, so I'm trying to figure out a constructive way of telling him to grow up. Any ideas?

[Ya know]

If your conscious enough love is the most powerful tool. If not... just ''resist not evil''. Don't engage in anything bad, reward good behaviour. People act like that to get a reaction out of you.

Chances are he's looking for significance through dominance, or certainty in others reactions to his nastiness. By being unphased you take away both rewards which'll remove his dopamine spike. From there you can make him feel significant, or certain with positive responses.

This is essentially manipulation so I'm not sure how nice this is... but it's an improvement over his bullying? Not sure what to make of it.