Am i on the path which might lead to higher consciousness?

[assx95]

I do strong determination sitting (for ~30 minutes) 4-5 times/week, and I manage to sit still. I'm working towards integrating emotional labor in my life, avoiding which Leo mentioned causes addiction. I've started taking responsibility of my actions by referring to myself not as "you" but "I" when I write in my commonplace book. 

I still jerk off everyday, although my intention is to diversify the use of sexual energy, not just for pleasure but for creativity as well, and as a life force. I forgive myself for not being to function at my potential at which I could function. I'm alright with women leaving me in the midst of a relationship. I'm trying to live in the moment, and notice the subtleties and appreciate them if I can. 

I'm usually more talk and less work, and I'm having a problem being effective. It's more like 1 step forward, and 3 steps backward.