How to Actualize Real Change in 2020 | New Years

[KenEmpowered]

New Years: Why Resolutions Often Stink, and How to Actualize Real Change in 2020

My YouTube Video on this topic:

New Years: How to Actually Make Lasting Change in 2020

(Mods: Let me know if I messed up embedding this video or need to revise)

Most people (90%+) fail their New Year's Resolutions. For most, that is their plan for a new year. Why are people failing their resolutions? What can you do to actually make change last in 2020? Let's take a look.

About me: I'm Ken, a Mindset & Development Coach. I help you develop mental/emotional resilience, overcome challenges, and realize dreams. I'm also now making video content.

Why are people failing to make change?

1. They make a wish. A ton of people make their New Year's Resolutions like they are making a wish. Can you really expect something will happen when all you've done is hope for it - without building a vision of who you'll be and put in the sweat equity? Most people fail because they have no follow through. Hope itself won't give you the change you want. As a coach, this is by far the one I hate the most.

2. They don't want it for themselves. In the past, humans survived best in tribes- do what your tribe needs and you'll likely live. Alone, we were likelier to died. But today, in your search for personal growth, don't only do what others want you to do. Some choose professions and make life decisions based on what family or society prescribed them. If you only listen without listening to what you want, you'll run out of steam and fail. To grow your own internal voice - make mental space for what you truly want. If you make every decision with everyone else's voice in your head, there'll be too many damn cooks in the kitchen to do anything.

3. Low pain tolerance. Humans subconsciously seek to avoid discomfort and pain. To be fair, it is fine to do so in leisure. However, it is unrealistic when people want to change and grow yet expect no discomfort or pain. It sounds so silly when you read it - since it's obvious - but when people go back to actually living their lives, most act like frightened mice in an experiment. If you want change, embrace discomfort - test your limits.

What can we do to make the New Year count and *ACTUALIZE* change in 2020?

1. Want the change for yourself. Just like we discussed - be selfish with your inner voice and what you want. Don't do what you think you should only because others want you to do it - it's not sustainable in the long term. Be selfish. Want the change for yourself. Be the source of your own drive to change, then you'll make it happen. Take your time if you must- figure out what you want.

2. Set goals, not resolutions. Your new year - your new decade, should not be launched with another wish. These wishlists are often without substance - no intention of attack, no action, no plan. Don't make empty resolutions. Make New Years goals that are actionable and specific. For example: run a 10k marathon or master a new skill. Use verbs to begin your goal.

3. Build habits. The 90% of people that will fail their New Year's Resolutions will fail because they didn't build habits. Start small (at first). Make your habits specific and measurable (a.k.a SMART Goals). Determine when you'll do it and how often. Instead of: "Learn to play the piano", try: "Play the piano for one hour every Monday, Wednesday, Friday".

4. Commit: See the day through, beginning to end. People who fail often overwhelm themselves by constantly imagining how long it is to do something new for a whole year. Have an end goal/vision in mind, but don't let the idea of going to the gym 300 times in a year make you too anxious. Focus on the day; the year will come.

5. Review your progress: What do professional athletes and competitors do to make sure they are improving and on track? They reflect and review their progress (and often have coaches to help). They identify places to improve, places they fell apart, etc. Sit down at least once a week and just ask yourself if you executed on your habits, and what you could've done better for your goals. Don't be distracted or rushed- set aside time and mental space for it.

6. Get back on track: You can do #1-5 and you'll be ahead of most people. However, #6, you will not last the marathon. Humans are bound to fluctuate in consistency. Even if you're consistent for years, something down the line could derail you - death of a loved one, you are laid off, a recession, a disease/injury, a breakup.. it's okay to fall off track - have a plan on how you'll get back on track. Once you've given yourself time to bottom out, build back from your foundations - start with small habits that you easily enjoy.

 

What are your goals for 2020? And what is your most often cause of falling offtrack - and how will you properly recover in this next year?

Edited December 31, 2019 by KenEmpowered