Dating newbie, so confused

[sunrae]

Hey! So I have just started dating more this year and really didn't date much before now for reasons mainly involving anxiety etc. Now that I am dating i feel really weird about certain things. Specifically when my date wants to kiss or whatever I dunno why but I just feel super awkward and almost want to cringe away? I've been on 3 dates with a guy now and each time we've had a short close mouthed kiss and it really doesn't make me feel anything. It just feels like lips pressing, doesn't feel romantic or turn me on. I know I'm not asexual but I don't know if I should be feeling or reacting differently?

I also feel really confused about how to tell if I actually like a guy enough to want to be their girlfriend. Like this guy is fun to hang out with and I've enjoyed our dates, but at the same time I still enjoy my own alone time and don't feel a need to see him every day of the week.

Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom? I should probably stop overthinking things so much but I find that hard to do ?

[Nicachi]

Hey I don't have an advice but I really feel you... 

But I noticed the more conscious you be that sometimes situations seem weird. As Leo says personal growth causes strange social behavior sometimes... And I guess it's okay to feel nothing romantic.. If you enjoy to hang with him maybe keep doing it but if it's too much and you feel a bit overwhelmed I'd stop it... 

I know it is always easier to say things like that and to act like that is so hard sometimes.. But maybe just try to be more conscious in those moments and dont be to rough to yourself.. If u enjoy staying alone feel free to do so even if you may end in a relationship... Time for one self Is so important. 

Much love 

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

How attracted were you to the guy that you kissed? Its not likely you were with a guy that you thought was extremely handsome and turned you on, because if you were you probably would feel a little something when you started kissing. 

Don't misinterpret this as saying looks are the most important thing, but they are really important if you want to find someone you are really passionate about and drives you wild. Others don't have to find him attractive per say, just someone that you find attractive and turns you on. 

[sunrae]

@Nicachi Thanks! I have enjoyed my time with him so I guess I'll try to continue going on dates and try to be more conscious or in the moment. You're right though I find it hard to say no or to set boundaries but having personal time is important. I'm an introvert and like to spend time at home especially after work... I work in healthcare so after helping others all day all I wanna do is decompress at the end of a work day by lazing on the couch lol thanks for the comment!

@TrynaBeTurquoise I think he's cute but not the cutest guy I've ever seen. At the moment I wouldn't label him as hot. I'm not sure if I would feel differently about kissing him if I felt more emotionally connected with him... I've read a bit about demisexuality and have been starting to think it seems to align with me. Maybe I just don't feel that sexual attraction towards people unless I feel a strong emotional connection... I'm really not sure and that part of it is pretty confusing to me as well...

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

3 hours ago, sunrae said:

@Nicachi Thanks! I have enjoyed my time with him so I guess I'll try to continue going on dates and try to be more conscious or in the moment. You're right though I find it hard to say no or to set boundaries but having personal time is important. I'm an introvert and like to spend time at home especially after work... I work in healthcare so after helping others all day all I wanna do is decompress at the end of a work day by lazing on the couch lol thanks for the comment!

@TrynaBeTurquoise I think he's cute but not the cutest guy I've ever seen. At the moment I wouldn't label him as hot. I'm not sure if I would feel differently about kissing him if I felt more emotionally connected with him... I've read a bit about demisexuality and have been starting to think it seems to align with me. Maybe I just don't feel that sexual attraction towards people unless I feel a strong emotional connection... I'm really not sure and that part of it is pretty confusing to me as well...

Thats interesting, I would suggest try doing some sexual exploration to find out what turns you on and what you want in a partner. Not going out and having sex with people but being intimate with yourself. Maybe you will discover a few things about yourself. And as far as the emotional connection, take it as a good thing, it means you have depth about you and you value a serious relationship.