You have to go through hell to get to heaven

[traveler]

So I want to attempt to convey some insights I have had recently on canabis. It has been scary and I have realized how serious this path is. On top of that, once you realize your true nature, there is no turning back. You have to go through what is necesarry for you to transcend the illusion of your ego.

I'll try to convey the experience I have had multiple times using only a couple of wiffs of the plant. It is equally intense everytime, and a mistake that I have made is to be with people that have no spiritual intention at all while smoking.

But here we go: The experience is you, everything that is seen, touched and talked to is you and you only (Not your mind constructed sense of self but the you that you in essence are.) Let's call it infinity. It is a state between illusion and reality, or reality realizing itself in the illusion. In this state it is clearly seen that THIS is IT, the whole of the universe is literally screaming at you that this is it, but the person resists. Because with this insight it is also seen that you (the one that you have always thought yourself to be) has to die to be free. You may have heard this before but it is literal, and in my case I was unable to release myself totally into the unknowingness of this realization. The fear of death and transitioning was to strong and I was unable to let go, because I was sure that I would die, literally die If I did. So the experience was pretty dark, sort of what I would call hell, the whole story of the reality that you believe to be real falls apart right infront of you, while the whole of the universe informs you that you have to surrender and let go into unknowingness, but the attachment to the individual is too strong, so you hang out in an eternal space of fear, total hopelessness and infinite loneliness. I have to add that even in this space, there is a hint of amazement and wonder, and there can be laughs happening too inbetween the harshness of the seeing.

This have been very intense, and the seriousness is now recognized more fully. While it was scary it is very healing to go to these spaces. It shows you how there is only 2 options: resist or accept who you are. There is no escape, you will literally never escape who you are or understand who you are. You have to surrender into the mystery of what is, you have to become the mystery.

Edited October 4, 2019 by traveler