Self-Acceptance vs Self Development explained

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Before you can work on developing your self, first you need to ask the question “what is my self”. That is, you need to know what is the subject that needs to be worked upon. You can not work on something you don’t know about and aren’t aware of.

This is why the first act of self-development is awareness. You need to become aware of your self, who you are, what are your values, what are your personality traits, innate strengths and weaknesses, etc.

This process is time consuming, but should not be skipped, as it is fundamental to create a solid foundation for personal growth. When you question yourself and your fundamental beliefs and values, you will begin to find out why you are the way you are, and why you act the way you act.

The next step is to challenge these beliefs and values. Search for other values and belief systems in the world they may lead to a more fulfilling life. Most of the time your original values would have been handed down to you either from your parents or society at large. Many of these values may not be true for you, they may not lead you to a life you truly want.

You need to be true to yourself, look at yourself as you are now, and accept what values you hold and wish to pursue. From here you can establish your authentic pursuits, goals that you would like to achieve, purely for the sake of achieving them, and not to impress or satisfy anyone else’s expectations.

By choosing what’s important to you, you start the journey of self-acceptance. It is through this self-acceptance that you begin to put yourself first in life, not in an egotistical way, but in a passionate way that aligns with your new found values. The more you embody this in action, the stronger your sense of self-love will become. You will love yourself because you care about yourself, your goals, and make time for yourself.

It is only through this framework that real self-development begins. By aligning growth with what’s truly important to you. Otherwise you will be developing in areas that are not aligned with your interests, to please others and satisfy their wants for you. This is akin to the analogy of climbing up the ladder, getting up to the top, only to find out it was leaning against the wrong wall the whole time.  

Hence, self-acceptance needs to come before self-improvement. If you fail to accept yourself and be aware of where you are, you will be like a ship with no compass. So, take the time to find out what is truly important in life. Are you values and goals aligned with what will bring true fulfillment? Once you know what you are doing and where you are going, you will no longer care what other people think. Through growth you will find self-confidence like you never knew before. You are now on the path of a truly fulfilling life.