My meditation journal

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice and grounded meditation.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice. The momenum is getting much stronger now, to the point where I'm starting to go into deeper concentration states where qualities like peace, expansion, contentment, brightness, well-being, unified focus, flow, etc, starts to dominate.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today as well. Today there was more process again. Feelings of grief and vulnerability. But it was really nice to sit with it. There was a sense of peace in surrendering into it.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today as well. Very nice. A bit more distracted today, but also a momentum of power and gratitude going parallell with distractedness.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today as well. No meditation yesterday. Good momentum again today. Lots of gratitude.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation yesterday and today. Very nice

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today. No meditation friday and saturday. I've been having a pretty bad cold, so I've been in bed for the most part. Interesting what a depressive outlook on life a cold gives me. It is first now that my mind starts to feel a little energized and inspired again. Seems like usually after I've had a cold there is an afterglow when getting well again. Like the mind gets a bit of an extra boost from the down-time.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation yesterday, and 45 min meditation today. Today is the first time after this cold I get this energized mind that I often get from meditation where I feel recharged, creative and enthuasiastic about life. It is amazing the energy flow that meditation can stimulate. But damn - the temporary depressions that comes from having a cold, they can be pretty heavy. But I find it nice to just surrender into staying in bed mode when having a cold.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today. Very nice. Some momentum and some restlessness battling with each other. I was getting into concentration states, but couldn't quite land there as things were getting murky again.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation today as well. Going into concentration-states again. Very nice. Things becomes centered, calm, focused, still. There is joy and well-being over the simple fact of beingness. I know people who mastered these states with far less effort than me. But I think we all have different inclinations. I see in my journal here that last time I entered these states was April of 12th. I guess that's my cycles. I build up a momentum, but then something knocks me off again. But I think I have some equanimity with these cycles, in the sense that one isn't supposed to develop attachment to meditative states anyways, but just let them come and go. So these states doesn't come easy to me, but when they do they feel like a great reward and an inspiration to keep on. And at the same time I hope that one day it will be possible to gain more a sense of mastery over these skills.