The Emptiness of Direct Experience

[Consilience]

I'm not sure if this is simply a concept or idea I've been latching onto, but for awhile now I've been having this subtle... intuition about my direct experience. By direct experience, I mean literal existence, the "actuality" (go watch Leo's video) in which direct experience manifests. 

Interestingly... This shit is morphing left and right, 24/7. I mean seriously, our phenomenal field is in CONSTANT flux, in all 6 senses. And somehow the fact of this slippery field makes it feel really really empty. Not in a nihilistic way, just in a like... I can't describe it. And this feeling has really been snowballing over the past month or so without much warning. I hadn't necessarily been thinking about it until recently.

If we reflect for a second on direct experience though, NOTHING about it remains consistent and yet each form it takes is perfectly distinct from every other form, giving rise to an infinite number of possibilities. So form is constantly manifesting in various ways at an infinite rate (literally infinite). Then you have to think, what is the 1 substance that reality would have to be made of in order to manifest in an infinite number of ways at an infinite rate? NOTHING! And in fact, taking this idea even further, nothingness itself is the only substance which could be infinite, at least with the ways I'm currently conceptualizing infinity. 

So nothing = infinity 

My biggest potential bias is that I'm somehow intellectualizing everything I've learned about non-duality, as multiple sources I've researched discuss this idea of "nothingness." On the other hand, something about this direct experience truly feels very "nothing" like or empty. The best way to describe it is that this "direct experience" of phenomena feels quite indirect and I'm missing something. 

I wish I could more effectively describe what I'm talking about. These last few meditation sessions have me really not understanding what I'm directly experiencing though. Just leaving me with a sense of... literally nothing. 

If anyone has insights or thoughts, I would be very interested to hear them.