A Hero's Journey

[Durka_Durka]

Well hey. So here we are. The beginning of the story. The call has arrived. I feel like the excuses can no longer be applied. I'm 19 now and even though none of my friends and family are really on this journey with me. I can make it alone. 

I have struggled in so many aspects of my own life in areas where I have wanted massive results. My productivity is still pretty poor, laziness and procrastination are still an issue but I'm absolutely determined to iron this stuff out in order to get first class results in my life. My sex life and dating life have become so much better recently, I joined the gym last year and have been training for about 12 months now and I feel so much better about my appearance and my options with women have drastically improved from the pitiful scarcity that I once had, however I still want to improve this further as I am not a 3% man yet (see Corey Wayne). I want to become enlightened too and even though I am not fully informed on the subject yet, I am fully behind the idea of the dissolution of the self and ego as my emotions have always been another area which I have struggled which brings me onto my next point. Emotional mastery is another area which I plan on focusing on during this lifelong journey. I don't have anger management or depression but I do struggle in this area with jealousy, envy and neediness, this must be sorted out because I cannot live a fulfilling life with this awful debilitating attribute. Finally the most important issue that a lot of people my age are facing, purpose. I want to find my life purpose mainly for the fact that I want to love what I will eventually do. But also I want to find something that I will not fall out of love with, this has been a trend throughout my whole life. I fall in love with something. I fall out of love with it or become disenchanted with it. I need purpose and direction in my own life to make me want to live, make me love life and make me want to wake up every day to work. 

I have bought a lot of books to help me on this journey, which are mostly on Leo's book list. I have today read "Mastery" by George Leonard. Which I loved but I think it is a book that I will definitely have to read multiple times in order to get the full benefit out of it. One of the most interesting things about Leonard's book which has made me really think about the ways I have been doing things is that I need to "love the practice". I find this to be an extremely difficult task especially because I have so many previous negative mindsets about studying, asking girls out at risk of rejection, cardiovascular exercise, meditation and even reading to some extent. However, while making a meal earlier, I did try to "feel the process" and not focus on the outcome of the process and it was something quite strange but nice. I didn't worry about the fact the meal took time to make and I actually enjoyed it, just my bodily movements were enough to keep me occupied and I also ended up making the meal much quicker than I would've previously so if nothing else then Leonard has proved his work to me in that way.

I am struggling massively to balance Personal Development and my university work, especially because I am really trying to get a first-class degree, I feel like I need to undertake massive change and that is fucking scary, I can't lie. I want the change but I don't know how I'm going to handle it when I'm already under enormous stress. I feel like it might need to be something that I need to pace myself with, equally I don't know whether that's my ego resisting change, its so hard to tell. 

Anyway, those are my thoughts this week, if anyone has any suggestions or thoughts then please feel free to say them, any help in this area would be massively appreciated since this is pretty much the only place that I'm going to get it haha  

[Guest]

Hey man, you are never alone on this journey. As for the university work, maybe you need to decide what is more important to you and commit to it. I fucked up my university and I coulnd't be happier, now I can takle my personal development work head on

 

I don't know, maybe you want to finish university first and then fully commit to personal development if you struggle to do them both?

[DanoDMano]

Greetings fellow searcher of truth. I don't want to be stroking your ego further, but dude, you seem to have it all together. Take it slow, life is a marathon for most of us not a sprint. Your so far ahead of the journey just enjoy what's ahead and stop to smell the flowers. Learn from the mistakes your bound to make and eventually they'll become few and far between. Trust your instincts and you'll do fine. Your writing abilities are exceptional (a rarity these days) keep it up and never give up looking for your purpose. You'll know when you find it. Peace brother.  

[Ananya]

You are not alone . Keep on trying, you can do this thing !

[Durka_Durka]

Thanks everyone for the support, I plan to keep this as a weekly journal so feel free to check on my progress/thoughts every once in a while, you're always welcome  @Ananya @DanoDMano @The Alchemist

[Durka_Durka]

@The Alchemist The problem that I find is that I don't want to be wasting precious time and I don't know whether the stress is being intensified by my own ego in order to maintain homeostasis, because Personal Development does require enormous change. However the fact that I'm worrying so much about this may be unnecessary and I should just wait for time when my workload has calmed in order to do this stuff. It's so hard to know for sure 

[Durka_Durka]

@DanoDMano Thank you! In your personal opinion, from what my post says, would you say that I am worrying too much about this? Because it certainly feels like it but I can't shake it off as I want to get better and loosen the shackles which have been socialised upon me.

[Durka_Durka]

@Ananya Thank you! 

[DanoDMano]

3 hours ago, Durka_Durka said:

@DanoDMano Thank you! In your personal opinion, from what my post says, would you say that I am worrying too much about this? Because it certainly feels like it but I can't shake it off as I want to get better and loosen the shackles which have been socialised upon me.

I personally think that we can worry too much about things in our life. I've come to realize that there is a natural order of how things should happen. It's not that you just then sit back and wait for them to happen, but you don't rush into them either where you end up making rash decisions. It's funny how it works.

An idea, action or goal just pops into your head. Where did this thing come from? The majority of the time it's you ego trying to convince you that something is right or wrong. If you act immediately you may just find out the opposite is true and then it's too late to turn back. I like to think that my consciousness and intuition are one and same. So the ego plants the seed, but it's your intuition that will decide whether to nurture that seed and help it grow into something positive for your life. Then during growth your ego jumps back in and tries to convince you that it's good or bad which again can be completely opposite. But it's you intuition (consciousness) that provides the truth. That this seed when fully grown will bear fruit or become a thorn in your side.

So my moral of the story? Patients my man. Think your actions through. Ask yourself continuously where are these actions, goals coming from? Ask yourself what part of you will benefit more, your spirit or your ego? When you discover the answer decide from there. Sometimes the ego can use a stroke or two so that's not bad, just realize that is exactly what your doing. Stroking your ego, also increases it's power.

Don't worry so much, it will cloud your judgement. Believe in the laws of attraction. This means staying positive even if there's negatives in your life. The more positive you become, the more positive that happens around you. It's a fact. Worry is a negative emotion so naturally you'll attract the same. Hope this helps. Good luck in your journey brother.