An interpretation of "me."

[seeking_brilliance]

Looking for some clarification or redirection here.... This is copied and pasted from my recent journal entry.  The topic was actually about the interpretation of life, but went in a surprising direction.  I withhold judgement for now as to accept any of this as true, but would like some thoughts

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Let's see what the dictionary says about interpretation.

•  The action of explaining the meaning of something.
• An explanation or way of explaining.
• A stylistic representation of a creative work or dramatic role.

        The first one sticks out to me.

        Action of explaining the meaning of something. Everything I do is an action. If there were no more actions, there would be no more I. Will the I return When the actions resume? Would it be the same I? Probably not, for multiple reasons. Let's say that the no-I profoundly changes me. When actions resume, a profoundly changed me is not the "I" from before the experience. (sidenote: I wanted to write non-experience, but I don't know if the experience ends when there is no more me (when the I ends)).

        The old me sacrifices and gives birth to the new I. Sometimes the new I could be better, perhaps sometimes not. But this happens whether we choose to or not. This happens every night when we lay to sleep. The 'I' you think you are dies, and is reborn like a phoenix rising from the ashes, upon awakening. Now this new  'I' may be only so so subtley different that we mistake it for the one who we were yesterday. This reinforces a sense of identity and is likely a survival Instinct perpetuated by ego. To wake up to a new self everyday is too overwhelming for ego, which prefers stability and consistency. In fact it's begun to rely on those two conditions and has formed an unhealthy dependency on them through many cycles of evolution, both the micro and the macro.

      Every new self we embody, whether we realize it as a new self or not, tends to be an interpretation of the one who passed away in the night. It can be interpreted at different levels of intensity, but ultimately will be a mere interpretation based on the Matrix of variables listed above(these variables occluded choas, cosmic order, experiences, faulty memory, social conditions, etc.) . Is this Matrix the ego? Or does the ego only access it? The ego ultimately does not exist, yet at the same time it seems to think it is running the show. Here I go treating it as an entity though. Perhaps that does add fuel to the flame.

        But what's even more mind-blowing is that the rebirth cycle of self doesn't only happen after sleeping, but ultimately happens every second, perhaps even down to the nanosecond, of continual ever-evolving rebirth of self, the I. Each one an interpretation of the last.

     Perhaps in this way, it can be explained how there is no I, because it cannot be pinned down, even to the nanosecond.