No luck with relationships!

[yinyan]

I am in my early thirties. I never had ONE serious long term relationship. My first ever relationship ( that lasted nearly 6 months maybe) was with a guy who not just broke my heart but told me that he was just using me and I was fat and unattractive to be with anyone. I feel like I have never felt confident since. As I grew up, I lost all my weight. People often tell me how pretty I’m or I have a cute face or nice smile. I never think that it’s true and the only thing my brains tells me is that they are saying it just for the sake of saying something nice. 

Because of my low self esteem and confidence, I’m not able to ask anyone out. If I get asked out though a dating app, I’m normal in my conversation prior to meeting that person but I get very nervous and shy in person to the point I can’t talk. People I have gone out with have told me that I’m “totally different” in person and not what they thought. You wouldn’t be surprised if I add that I often don’t see those guys ever again. 

I think I know where the problem is but I am failing to fix it. I am confident in all other walks of life and if I’m being honest it might come as a shock for people if I label myself as shy. I just can’t help but feel frustrated about this whole situation. I was raised in a conservative religious family, some days I think if it’s my upbringing that make me restricted to talk/interact  with Gus but I don’t think it’s the problem, it maybe the part of problem though. I do have other guy friends and I don’t have any trouble talking to them. 

Can somebody help me please? Please don’t be making fun of me by posting nasty comments. I have a hard time even writing this and opening up. Thank you. 

 

[Shin]

Buy the Leo's book list and read the 3rd book you see when you scroll down on the emotional mastery subsection.

I'm intentionally not giving you the name of the book, because you will gain so much from having this list of great books to buy at anytime on any problems you have.

Like Leo said in his last video, you have all the info in the world to solve your problem now, it's one click away if you know what the problem is.

Even if you don't, you just have to describe precisely on a forum (like you did) what is your problem.

Then reading about it ( for real don't be cheap, we are talking about your emotional life here) from different authors, and watching lots of videos about it.

The goal is to have a broad perspective on the matter then doing the actual work necessary to eliminate your problem (it's not enough to read/watch about it).

Edited October 1, 2018 by Shin