Need some advice

[Martasekk]

Hello, I have recently just got into spirituality and nonduality and it feels like total emotional roller coaster.

I have just recently dropped the materialist outlook on life, partly because it didn't really feel right, but mostly because of Leo's video on brains. On an intellectual level I suspect that I'm something more than just this person, but for some reason when I read about no free will it makes me feel really miserable.

Yesterday I felt really happy, active and really enjoyed everything around me but today I feel somehow drained and empty, yet in some sense I feel peace, and it goes like this for maybe a month. I know it's not really that bad and other people probably have worse problems, but I just needed to share this and hopefully get some advice on how to drop the seriousness and just enjoy living. I am also beginning to feel like there is no real freedom and everything is just determined and I am somehow trapped, which I hope is just false fear.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a nice day

Edited August 8, 2018 by Martasekk

[lhamilt18]

Hi friend, congrats on your new found spirituality. 

Just remember that all the ups and downs are part of the journey. That's what helps me put things into perspective. Also, even tho it's great that Leo got you to question the materialist paradigm, it's not enough to simply believe him or anyone else for that matter. Just be honest with yourself on every aspect in life. If something doesn't feel right, that's okay. Admitting a state of not knowing is actually way more important than coming to know something. A lot of metaphysical questions such as what is reality composed of, what is the origin of the universe are actually irrelevant to your suffering. Just go by what is true in your direct experience right here and now in the present moment and you can't go wrong. Hope this helped

[Martasekk]

So should I just try to focus on life itself, and not think about these metaphysical questions too much yet?
Thanks for replying

[lhamilt18]

Exactly. The core of this work is about becoming liberated from the suffering which comes along from the "game" of life. (Btw this doesn't mean renunciation of life either.) There's a parable that Buddah says about man who is wounded with a poisoned arrow.

 

"It's just as if a man were wounded with an arrow thickly smeared with poison. His friends & companions, kinsmen & relatives would provide him with a surgeon, and the man would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know whether the man who wounded me was a noble warrior, a priest, a merchant, or a worker.' He would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know the given name & clan name of the man who wounded me... until I know whether he was tall, medium, or short... until I know whether he was dark, ruddy-brown, or golden-colored... until I know his home village, town, or city... until I know whether the bow with which I was wounded was a long bow or a crossbow... until I know whether the bowstring with which I was wounded was fiber, bamboo threads, sinew, hemp, or bark... until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was wild or cultivated... until I know whether the feathers of the shaft with which I was wounded were those of a vulture, a stork, a hawk, a peacock, or another bird... until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was bound with the sinew of an ox, a water buffalo, a langur, or a monkey.' He would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was that of a common arrow, a curved arrow, a barbed, a calf-toothed, or an oleander arrow.' The man would die and those things would still remain unknown to him."

 

The wounded man asking for information about the archer who shot the arrow is akin to asking about metaphysics truths when the answers to such questions are largely irrelevant. Surely I enjoy Leo's content which addresses such questions, but at the end of the day his information is mostly coming from trips on 5 Meo DMT. So while he can be absolutely convinced on the truth about conciousness, for me and you it is just speculation untill we have a similar experience.

[Martasekk]

Thanks for helping I really appreciate it, wish you all the best

[lhamilt18]

No prob ^__^ same to you and good luck!