BobbyLowell

How do I stop needing confirmation from others?

9 posts in this topic

Short answer: You get it from yourself instead. 

You're the one who decides how to react to the external phenomena. Be on your own side, expect others to clash with you, don't hate them for it and don't worry so much about changing their mind.  Everyone has their own angle in life, if we all agreed upon everything, things would be pretty samey. People might be offended if you don't parrot their opinion untarnished back at them, they might be resentful about it even. It sucks at times but it's fine, life would be dull if everyone conformed to your will all the time no? 

Edited by Nathan

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Ask yourself a question, why do I need confirmation from others? Give yourself some time to answer it. It might be because you don't feel like you're good enough, or that your opinion matters. Whatever it might be remember that it's ok to feel that way. Knowing the source of that feeling is in my opinion first step to dealing with it.

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@Matiyos because i dont trust that i am correct. like a lot of people in the past i guess have considered me judgemental so i feel like what if im just not considering others??? you know im not always right. also i consider myslef easily affected by all the atmospheres i am placed in 

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@Nathanthank you for your response! i agree yes but i have been encountering a lot of resistance lately and criticism. i dont feel like i can handle it. If you dont mind answering, of course you dont need to, how do I overcome this constant criticism in so many places I go?

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You have to remember that you can't please everyone nor that you need to. Because at the end of the day you will feel unpleasant with yourself. You need more positive people in your life, who will support you o matter what. even if you can't find anyone like that then starts reading the life stories of some famous people who went through the same situation like you. It will make you inspired. And if you have anyone in your life who is making you feel bad or giving you a negative vibe, get rid of them like I did.

You will feel much better.

friends.jpg

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When you'll understand what opinions are, what reactions are. When you'll understand that everything you perceive is appropriated. When you'll see that you have nothing to do with the reactions, opinions, beliefs of others. When you'll see that you are just deceiving yourself, interpret everything, to satisfy your own lack of love and trust in yourself. Others opinions matter when you are distant from yourself. The others are the ones that tell you who you are and what you are capable of, not your auhentic self. You have not recognized yet the "power" within yourself. 

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There are many different reasons and ways that people will seek feedback from others, it seems you have already responded here that it's about being "right". I would encourage you to observe your 'self' in your own mind's eye at the time that this particular "need" manifests in you, be aware of the thoughts, those ideas, motivations, feelings, memories, dialog and whatever else is appearing in you that is associated with this "need" in the moment it transpires.

There is no one size fits all step by step advice or method to address it because each of us is unique and every situation is different, the potential variations are infinite. So this is why I suggest observing your 'self' and be aware of everything that is associated with it, the resolution usually presents itself in the manner it's manifests in us if we attune our awareness to what that is.

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