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kyle barnett

Dating For Under 18's

3 posts in this topic

Hey guys I am 17 and I really wish i had someone to talk to about this that can help me out. I've been studying attraction and dating and all things along the lines of this area. Fortunately I've listened to really great dating coaches that go against main stream pick up and manipulation. Of course I do listen to a few that have a bit of manipulation but they also give awareness to this particular issue in pick up. 

To the point, Iv'e been studying self help for around two to three years now, But i just can't get myself to meet woman and have girlfriends. I feel that if i do not get any dating experience it will bight me in the long run as even i feel not working on this throughout middle school and the start of high school has left me in a huge rut. I've approach woman here and there but Iv'e never been able to have a date with a girl i am attracted to in my entire life. 

I'm too young to go to bars and clubs so I can't do that. I do go out, But it's extremely rare I'd ever get into something that has girls for me to meet. The only place I can practice at the moment is in my high school, But it's just too hard. There's so many girls I want to be able to meet in conversation but I've been around these people for years. I try to flirt with girls but i always fail, Due to the rare opportunities. Most girls are all in groups with their friends and other guy friends. I can't approach them because i feel as if i were to get rejected or something because i see these girls all the time and if I turn them off. Boom i'm screwed. I actually feel i am already screwed though due to me being immature in the past and having to make a big transition to change myself. I fear that if I fail (I fear i also already have) I will not have a chance anymore and I'l be stuck with them for another year and no relationship experience which is just going to ruin my opportunities in the future. 

Also I don't even think I have the right to say I have feelings for anybody in my school because I've never been able to have a conversation with someone that I haven't been friend zoned to. I am giving myself anxiety at school, due to this issue, and it has been a distraction, I also feel this was my only drive to improve myself seeming I still don't know who I am. I feel lost as my friends are either got abundance with woman or aren't willing to work or care about this area in life.

 

 

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Well it sounds you like have a several problems. I am currently in college and trust me it is basically high school on roids. So you are definitely going to need to figure this out before you get there. 

Your first problem is that you said you have been reading about attraction and dating. You also mentioned "pick up and manipulation" etc. The problem with these is that they don't address the actual person doing the pick ups. They work great on paper and in books but they fail to take into account that women and real life are always going to go off script. The only place in my opinion that these things work is through digital interaction. This is the only place you control the flow of conversation and how you are perceived by others. 

 

Ironically high school is the one of the hardest times in anyone's life to pick up women. They are at a period in their life where are they are constantly worried about what their peers think of them. You trying any of these pickups in a public setting around other people(male or female) is going to fail spectacularly. 

 

Now do not worry I am getting to the positive parts of this lol . Congratulations dude! We are "millennials" . Which means I am sure that you and everyone of those girls has a cell phone or some way to communicate that is not face to face. This is where you are going to thrive. They are now alone, with no one to judge what they do or say. This is where you use the stuff you have read about. I am not sure what you have been reading but the problem with a lot information out there is that it is written by people are not part of our generation. They don't understand how "millennials" think. Sorry to keep using that word but dude we operate so much different than any other generation when it comes to relationships. So I believe I am allowed to plug websites and what not as long as they aren't selling stuff. This guy I have been following has a newish blog where he writes about dating advice etc. He also reviews a couple products that he found helpful for people in our generation. Dude this texting book that he recommends(thats right an entire book on texting.) changed how i interact with people. He recs some other stuff but you don't really need that unless you are hopeless. It sounds like you are not you just need a way to use the info you have learned. So I would check him out and check out the texting book. It really helped me apply what I read in a way that fits people our age. You can also get other books but this is just from my experience.  That dudes website, if you are interested, is "modernmack.com". 

 

Hope everything works out for you man. Hit me back in a PM or response if you need help with anything. 

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Thanks so much for the advice. I really needed someone who understands my situation. But are you saying my solution is outside of face to face? I have texted girls for years ! However I feel that it's just too unlikely to meet someone to date online. Also no matter how much I text it wont improve my face to face interactions and I feel I need to develop that skill. I found that girls just will NOT respond to you on social media as practically all quality girls already have options in face to face interactions and social circles. Also I can't use a dating website because I'm under 18.  How would you meet woman and get options?

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