Trouble Moving Beyond Lower Conscious Past

[Levity]

Wondering if anyone is or has experienced something similar and how you found to move forward constructively...

I haven't been doing heavy PD work for a very long-- couple years, but I really love it, I connect to it easily, and am getting slow, but steady results. Like most I imagine, I struggle with consistency in application, but it's always in the forefront of my mind; I'm always looking for new ways to improve. I started because in my mid 30's, anxiety was becoming unbearable-- which was odd because I don't remember being very anxious as a kid and young adult; but the last few years have been bad. I'm not out of the woods, but I feel I have much more control and hope for the future.

Admittedly, and from all outward appearances, I have a wonderful life. I'm grateful for so much, and especially since finding this work, I see few barriers to living a peaceful, full, and fulfilling life for as long as I'm granted breath; but the barriers I have are persistent. The challenge is that I'm anchored to 'structures' built-up by a much less conscious and more ego-driven version of myself. These 'structures' (mainly my business, but could to a lesser degree include family life and friendships) are not bad, mind you; and they either are or have the potential to be wonderful, joy giving facets of my life. I'm not looking to rid myself of them; they're just stuck in an old paradigm, built by a 1.0 version of myself. I imagine that by applying awareness to them, the anxieties brought out will evolve, which is what I'm trying to do. It's especially hard in the case of my business, because the current challenges it faces are deep-set, and a direct consequence of fear-based or low consciousness decisions made in the past. Maybe this doesn't even make any sense, but I'd love to hear others' thoughts.

 

[ajasatya]

@Levity it feels like you're playing with words. what are you trying to avoid? i couldn't understand your difficulties.

what are you ashamed of? be straightforward. are you this indirect with yourself throughout the day?