Detachment

[spicy_pickles]

Hello. 

I've been doing contemplation recently which is helping me recognize areas I need improvement and probably where I've always needed improvement. 

I am learning how to detach from a plethora of things in my life. 

Since I was young, I felt that I was responsible for other people's happiness. I also felt I always needed to be a problem solver. This has come to a major boiling point in my life now, especially in my relationship. 

I won't go into details here, but I am trying to learn how to detach from what this relationship is doing to me. My partner tells me all his problems and has since the early days. Me, being a "fixer", would get way too emotionally involved, get myself worked up, and become angry as well. I honestly cannot tell what he expects from me. 

My goal is to release emotional feelings and no longer be enmeshed in his problems. I always get that pinch of emotion every time he brings something up, just because it's been my life for the last 8 years of this marriage. Now, I'm seeing things for what they are. 

How can I continue to successfully work on this detachment?

edited to add - I've noticed that no matter how I react, my partner gets mad. If I say nothing, he questions why I have no opinion on the matter. If I offer suggestions, he makes excuses and gets frustrated. If I say I don't want to hear it, well, he gets even more angry. 

Edited August 26, 2017 by spicy_pickles