Thoughts That I'm An Effing Loser If I Don't Do Xy Or Z

[JevinR]

Thoughts of being a loser comes up over and over and over again, making me feel incredibly bad to to the point of breaking down and trying to cry to get rid of these silly negative emotions. (Again, this is counter-intuitive as I am not being with my emotions) Now, I try to fight these thoughts but realize that fighting them is not the key, and instead should be coming to peace with them. Another thought surrounding the idea of having to lose my virginity ASAP and having sex with 100 woman ASAP or else I will be a pussy/not a man my entire life as listed in this video :

 

Also having this "idealized" version of myself as some sort of top-performing business man that makes millions and spends his time drinking,partying and doing all these frivolous things. (Basically the mind's epitome of what true "success" means in it's silly obscured way of thinking at things).Which is basically some silly neurosis, of course your life purpose is number 1 and you ought to become world class. So what do I do? Leo says to simply be, as meditation will help with this. Then there's this huge contradiction that being spiritual will not help you achieve your goals:

 

Then this video from RSD comes up going back to point A: 

 

What do I do stuck in this quagmire!?!?!? Is balance the key?

Edited February 19, 2016 by JevinR
More data injection

[kalter000]

I feel you, was in your shoes couple years ago. 

1 hour ago, JevinR said:

Another thought surrounding the idea of having to lose my virginity ASAP and having sex with 100 woman ASAP or else I will be a pussy/not a man my entire life

Nothing external will bring you peace. You will lose your virginity (notice, how much value you are giving to this silly thing), and next day you will wake up with the same hell in your head. You can be the manliest man without fucking anybody, Leo mentioned it because in the process of doing so you will aquire emotional intelligence and character strength, necessary for being "masculine".

Your mind is completely neurotic. Check Leo's video about this topic 

 

You should eliminate all "shoulds" (Lol), "must" etc. You have inner conflict between real you and image in your head. And image is just a thought! 

Find the core of your negative beliefs.  It might be low self-esteem and you're trying fill the gap with unneccesary shit, but it's like feeding the abyss. The key here is complete self-acceptance and self-love. You don't have to be anything- life is pointless and we all die.

Be mindful of negative thought patterns and let them go. The purpose of meditation is to raise awareness and see thoughts as they are - just sensory phenomena without indulging in their content. 

Have you read power of now? Absolute must have.

When you eliminate all neurosis and accept yourself and reality as they are, you will be so much happy and at peace with yourself. Those external achievements won't even bother you, you will aquire them just for fun, life is a giant sandbox. And from this healthy place you can do whatever you want, without neediness and resistance.

P.S. When you become authentic and at ease with yourself, you will become sexy motherfucker without need to overcompensate your lack of masculinity. 

[JevinR]

5 minutes ago, kalter000 said:

I feel you, was in your shoes couple years ago. 

Nothing external will bring you peace. You will lose your virginity (notice, how much value you are giving to this silly thing), and next day you will wake up with the same hell in your head. You can be the manliest man without fucking anybody, Leo mentioned it because in the process of doing so you will aquire emotional intelligence and character strength, necessary for being "masculine".

Your mind is completely neurotic. Check Leo's video about this topic 

 

You should eliminate all "shoulds" (Lol), "must" etc. You have inner conflict between real you and image in your head. And image is just a thought! 

Find the core of your negative beliefs.  It might be low self-esteem and you're trying fill the gap with unneccesary shit, but it's like feeding the abyss. The key here is complete self-acceptance and self-love. You don't have to be anything- life is pointless and we all die.

Be mindful of negative thought patterns and let them go. The purpose of meditation is to raise awareness and see thoughts as they are - just sensory phenomena without indulging in their content. 

Have you read power of now? Absolute must have.

When you eliminate all neurosis and accept yourself and reality as they are, you will be so much happy and at peace with yourself. Those external achievements won't even bother you, you will aquire them just for fun, life is a giant sandbox. And from this healthy place you can do whatever you want, without neediness and resistance.

P.S. When you become authentic and at ease with yourself, you will become sexy motherfucker without need to overcompensate your lack of masculinity. 

Thank you, peace be with you

[Atmos]

You need to take the time to realise that these things wont actually fulfil you. It sounds like you have some unresolved ghouls on your mental, and that they are somewhat deep routed, an unhappy mind will fill itself with fruitless desires in an attempt to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. As impossible as it seems embracing the fact you don't need these things you have convinced yourself you do is the first step to overcoming endless desire that will never be actually satisfied. The aim is to curb urges, not fulfil them:)

 

Being spiritual will help you with your goals more than you might think as you will spend less time wishing and more time acting, being spiritual also lets one set achievable goals.

 

 

[Guest]

Massive comment from kalter000. It is so important to define the true meaning of life for yourself. In a few decades we will all be dead. So maybe until then we might be at least a little bit happy with what we have. Maybe you've been thinking about possession a lot. But you should also think about the difference between appreciation and possession. When your life only consists of thoughts as "I should do this and that. God dammit I have to get there right on time. I will be respected and people will love me and therefore I will love myself finally." This is just a freakin illusion that so many people believe. The voices in your head are so loud and I can't judge you. Because I also have a similar problem. Reduce the amount of stimuli that you recieve. No ads, no tv shows and maybe say no to all the other things that are obviously not good for you. Your ego will be so hungry. Your ego will starve. We can't erase the ego but we can reduce it to a healthy size. I will tell you about my baby steps. I am still at the beginning of my journey but there are a few key aspects that helped me to become stronger. I erased the noticeboard on facebook, so that I don't see what other people do (therefore I am less jealous). I realize that youtube became my new television and I have to reduce it exactly as I did it with my tv (I decided to not turn on the tv anymore, because it really is just a bunch of bullcrap, well some documentary channels are okay but still it is just exhausting your eyes and there are ads sometimes and you don't really know when to stop). Eat healthier because it made me feel better. Don't let your tongue decide what tastes good and what doesn't. Because your body speaks a different language. I don't watch the movies that everyone is talking about when they come out in the cinema. I was a huge star wars fan and still I didn't watch Episode 7. Movies are stimuli. Reduce it to a healthy amount. Usually the only movies I watch nowadays is a re-watch of some good movies. Next step: Exercise if you are able to. You don't have to look like a greek god but small steps can already give you a mental boost. I reduced my back pain.

I know that all this stuff that I wrote is just mashed potatoes but you have to realize that there are three states where you could be right now: 1. You could be what are you right now and feel bad for yourself all the time. 2. You could find peace in the present moment and keep on doing what you do now. 3. You could work on improving yourself by leaving the comfort zone.

[Guest]

@JevinR Don't worry bro. I can tell you from first hand experience that losing your virginity or fucking some girls will not make anything better. The bullshit in your head will continue because, as the fellows said, it's all inside your head. Nothing external can bring you peace, this is why you must work on your mind. The previous poster gave amazing replys. Being a real man, a fucking winner, is all in the head. The attitude. Not if and how often you have sex and what you do. Remember, you got nothing to prove to anybody, and you do whatever the fuck you want. You don't answer to anybody but yourself.

In fact, it only gotten worse for me after I lost my virginity, even more thoughts that I'm a loser started to torment me.  That's only because of my mentality, I was a huge victim back then. So really bro, stop worrying.

Edited February 25, 2016 by The Alchemist

[Isle of View]

@JevinR

It seems you are caught in some perfectionism. 

Is there / was there someone in the background who made less of you and your only "solution" to it, is becoming perfect?

Watch out, this is a trap.