LSD+MUSHROOM TRIP REPORT - "OCTOPUS CLOWN DEMONVERSE"

[Lord Kadaver]

Technical:
Bodyweight: 140lbs, 6ft
Dosage: 75-125ug LSD+5.6g Dried Mushroom Tea
Setting: Apartment Room/Solo
Mindset: Curious. Grateful. Non-judgemental. Excited. Felt "clean" and ready. However life still has "problems". Trouble at work as well. Financial/medical bill troubles too.
Intention: After trying both individually multiple times, I was wanting to explore the combination of the two substances and their potential synergy

Summary:
7:00pm 5 hours fasted, 1 tab sublingual
7:50pm dancing in a dream
9:15pm drink mushroom tea
11:30pm? clown therapy
9:00am wake up next day

Part 1 (Ingestion/Onset)
Weighed and readied the ingredients for mushroom tea on standby in the kitchen. Started a fire in my fireplace (I'm lucky to have this). Turned off all the lights and closed the curtains. Sat cross-legged on my bed with my back supported. Placed 1 gel tab under tongue. 50 minutes of quiet waiting. Sudden grin/laughter...
-We're back
-We're so back
-Crying/heaving/screaming into the pillow
-Become a child/elderly again (was always one)
-Looked at a photo of my ex and I together and said "I forgive you/I love you" over and over                                                                                                                              -Played Lemmino music on speakers (best music ever)
-Danced like I never danced before (made up some new moves?)
-Each step by my feet and each breath is an orgasm
-Appreciate the art and paintings on my walls
-Sat with legs bent on carpet, start hallucinate. Carpet and room is alive (moderate hallucinate)
-Went into kitchen, put together the ingredients and made mushroom tea (5.67g psychedelic mushroom) with ginger, cardamom, clove, cinnamon, and caffeine-free tea bag strained twice (almost couldn't find the strainer, that was funny!)
-Start referring to myself in 3rd person, depersonalization occurring
-Drank tea slowly at 9:15pm ish
-Got a little sad thinking about certain aspects of "my" life (past relationship, struggling porn/phone addiction, societal "problems" of the "world", etc) (sidenote: did I dream the world's problems?)
-As I sip the tea, I feel its alien nature flowing down my throat. What a mysterious thing it is to drink a thing (I drink myself??)
-I breath, becoming more and more aware of my "aliveness"
-I finish the tea and head back to my bedroom to sit. Answers arise...
-Sexuality is a part of your nature. DO NOT DENY IT, BUT PRACTICE IT IN A HEALTHY WAY
--Took all the "evil" in the world and tossed it in the trashcan (EVERYTHING IS GOOD WITH A CAPITAL G)
-There is no other (duh) (and it's fucking hilarious!)

Part 2 (Peak)
-I BREATH
-ALIVENESS is ALWAYS and is peak bliss/pleasure
-I think about the alternate then--death (what is it then?)
-FUCK THE DEAD (METAPHORICALLY AND LITERALLY)
-When EACH BREATH IS THE HIGHEST ORGASM, EACH ONE IS AN ACT OF CREATION (Nothing else compares)
-Getting tired, I stop sitting and lay on mattress and look up at ceiling. I raise the hand to the ceiling and it touched!
-Hand transforms into primitive mammalian devil hand (it's alien/mysterious) (it's the Hand of God)
-Close eyes and have moderate/heavy hallucinations. See infinite little RAINDBOW/INFINITE COLOR SPECTRUM "octopus clowns" splaying their hands forward to me in a prayer like/loving fashion and saying "here you go, this is it, see?". I UNDERSTAND. They touch my mind and it's another ERUPTION of orgasmic bliss

**side note: if the reader is curious and would like an approximate visual of what they looked like, search up "mr.creepypasta the showers" on google and it is the thumbnail for the video uploaded on may 22nd. Now imagine that but with infinite rainbow colored octopus tentacles emerging from behind and all around it**

-THE MIND/EGO OF "ME" AND GOD (AS A TALL CLOWN/JESTER THERAPIST) TALK IN A ROOM (As I eavesdrop on this talk from outside the door, I see that this tall clown is also, in fact, a demon, and beautiful as fuck)
-LITTLE CLOWNS CLOSE THE DOOR (THEY ALL HAVE "JOBS" THAT ARE MOMENTARY, BUT THEY ARE ALL IMPORTANT/GODLY) (THEY LAUGH) 

I stand up, somehow naked, and see the mess of my room I made. I "tell" me to clean my room. I ask "why clean?" Answer "because all these things are YOU, and YOU deserve to be treated with respect" Oh silly me, of course...

The blanket and I have a 1 on 1 therapy session. I love this blanket (SIDE NOTE: WTF IS A BLANKET??)

I finally find my PJs and turn of the lights and lay on my bed under blankets in fetal. It feels SOOO GOOOD. You close your eyes and see infinity. 

Questions arise that become more and more distilled:

What is (blank)?
What is this?
What is?
Is?     Answer: IS. (Possible answer to everything as far as language allows. THE NATURE OF IS AND THE ANSWER TO IT IS, IS) PERIOD. ON THE PERIOD HINGES LIFE/ORGASM AND GESTURED TO IT BY A LITTLE CLOWN HAHA

Why doing? Answer: No doing, only BEING
BE. PERIOD. ON THE PERIOD HINGES LIFE/ORGASM AND GESTURED TO BY A LITTLE CLOWN HAHA

But then what is to be?

Being means to live as fully in the moment and as authentically as you can. It means to be infinitely creative and not copying/mirroring others but rather being YOU. Being YOU/I means to go an unbeaten path. To live your original story however it unfolds. This story is a dream and a loving gift. It is a loving gift because what else is there? There is infinity and there is emptiness/NOTHINGNESS. Both are the same thing in a twisted way. So if you ask, why is there something? But there isn't. And at the same time there is. Going further beyond this is possible but also infinitely mysterious and forever unknown. God can keep understanding itself but never FULLY (because it can keep understanding itself infinitely).  It's like...imagine you are hiking up an infinitely tall mountain. Every couple of miles, you stop and look down and you say, "oh wow, so that's what it looks like". But as you keep hiking higher and higher (assuming no end), you can look down and say that every time, again and again. Your understanding can grown higher and higher, and deeper and deeper as you rest at each checkpoint and look back. But it'll never be fully complete because:

1. You are in a form (a human) and therefore only have so many years to live and understand
2. The mountain is infinite, so hypothetically even if you could live forever (which no form will), even then you can still keep hiking up and looking down/understanding, forever and ever. Infinitely.

THIS IS NOT WRONG OR BAD. THIS IS PRECISELY THE NATURE OF GOD AND HOW THINGS ARE. IT CAN BE NO OTHER WAY/NO OTHER CONFIGURATION. Any other configuration would not make sense. Infinity is boundless and the universe is thus boundless. Boundless and also made of LOVE (more on that later)

 

Part 3 (Comedown)
-FETAL POSITION and I create and perform Spooky Belly Dancing (inspired by the fire earlier!)
-I also accidentally invent a new yoga pose (the Possessed Corpse Extension Orgasm Pose) (flex those abdominals and extend the neck!)
-The dance that was earlier done on the come-up was very "therapeutic". Perhaps dance (uninhibited), can be a form of 
going meta/knowing GOD and healing (along with self inquiry, meditation, yoga, psychedelics)
-Let's call it DANCE THERAPY! (maybe this already exists haha but who cares)
-I close the eyes
-I DROOL
-RAINBOW/INFINITE-COLOR SPECTRUM OCTOPUS CLOWNS (THEY ARE DEMONS AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL, DEAL WITH IT)
-In fact, EVERYONE/EVERYTHING has a song and it is BEAUTIFUL! 
-I sleep
-I wake at around 9am

Thank YOU for reading, and may YOUR song never end

Edited 3 hours ago by Lord Kadaver