New Journal [CD Process] -> Dev -> Rev -> Process

[KosmicGeng]

Not much time everything on block I can maximally be 1min on the site, still having some issues fixing most things, due to the negative influence of Leo's teaching and some ray ray parts that are obvious he is not rid of imo 

[KosmicGeng]

Messed around with the timer, I don't know if it will be good, the better my infrastructure the better I can use this, but also the enviroment here did not do me any well, besides my own comments and journal for survival, I have to see. I installed some tech stuff, and put this website only as a blocker, as I wasted most of my time here and got some help, there are some things I fundamentally disagree with Leo, as he is more Tamas driven, lethargic and destructive karma, idk what to think the perspecitve is valueable, but some things are not as explained as deeply as I crave them, so I might as well ditch actualized.org completely and take what's there most value I found in the booklist, somehow leo does not have the best impact on me and the psychological spectrum thing at times is just not good for me, there is to much projection of dispositions, which is flatout biased and racist, for a long time idk how to deal with this really besides talking with different people not touched by this org 

[KosmicGeng]

I stopped blocking the site, if I feel better and take action, the occasional post is good, but generally speaking I am only here for perspective. not really anymore the work of actualized.org and the information, I have to dispell some negative stuff I adopted through learning and following from leo etc. 

[KosmicGeng]

I stopped blocking the website, I presume my intetions are finally working out, studying more of the esoteric stuff, I downloaded an audibook yesterday as I got my phone back finally, on some meditation refreshers what they key distinctions are between schools & traditions, as I soft of wean off the conventional ways and include everything similar to a TOE, and reduce and break away what works does not work and did work, it is also a healing experience to dispell Leo, after understanding my own manfestation, and I am still on the fence of, can I use this for survival and good, or is it just as new agey at times as tarot that I am studying, I am making better decisions studying tarot, staying completely away from alcohol now, and the life choices I made, some issues are amplified by the issue of the nazification of tech, and some core intuitions and experiences I had here, but mostly I continue to use this site as long as I am doing something and making progress, there is still a level of maturity reached in order to entirely quit, and I've had my fair share of astrological truths and insights from having and doing these readings myself and building an intuition with it, as well as using these new A.I tools to simply work more efficiently and effectively with video summaries, quizzes etc. but I notice how from an advanced health perspective these tech tools sort of pull away the health that I experience, and that my heart frequency is sort of hijacked by all of the tech around me, it's still odd to the level of things, I am reading every night again, and found new ways to simple have more control, I also keep pulling positive spreads, and finally instead of training intuition writting some notes on core cards, and not only coincidences but learning the actual system to simple make better decisions, also the THOT tarot deck is super psychdelic I absolutely love the art and find it inspiring, the other decks have a bit more psychological and historical usage, but it will take some time I mostly see this as part of spirituality, but I am mostly focused on survival, and not a true meditative path that I was in more before, the situation with the ex put survival to much into the foreground and not True Spirituality, even with taints of enjoyments of survival, she could not meditate even 30 minute next to me, I was excited to go for 1h at least, I am back at 30 mins today, doing some healing 15 minutes and some other practice that I developed with all the audiobooks and knowledge I consumed. 

I am still in an odd situation, if anything negatively manifests for e.g people called the cops on me for being loud, while they are over-sensetive and tell them straight-up lies, I am to blunt and they make presumptions about things I never did like throwing around cartonage etc. This never happend to me till the break-up occured, I was the one who called the police as others were loud, when I meditated or studied and it was impossible, it's a very hideous character trait imo, I am healing daily from it as of now. 

[KosmicGeng]

I tested some settings for solo-retreats and it seems fine to do it, I am mostly pulling myself out of actualized.org there is just an issue that imo will never be solved as time is of essence, as long as there is rare information I stick to it, but I block it if it get's weird and hostile again, this goes for me also. 

[KosmicGeng]

I put the quotes into the terminal and ask some questions, it's insane what these new models can do for ones learning abillity, testing and integration, I called a couple of people today after making the commitment to not drink any alcohol whatsoever, as I was often asked for taste etc. and baited, the lawyer for the new thing where 10 police men showed up and almost shocked me, was hilarous testing reality, you can call it psychosis, but tbh I am also very manipulative to a core as an INFJ you naturally are and you should explore the dark side, it was absolutely stupid what I did and I could've died, but my father was in the military police there is a natural fearlesness, that was the stupidest thing I ever did, but I can understand and see their perspective more, the core issue what was triggering are these false accusations of thing I do, like moving boxes etc. idk some neighbours are even more mental, in psychatry I saw some serious cases of what it actually takes to be someone like this, even my mother is moving more quickly towards me and is ready to help, a lot of influence from leo i have to get out as my aunt also has this Yi-Chou thing and these people are highly manipulative, but also very sensetive and intelligent, at times if my observation is correct, they also lack the abillity to abstract and go about a bit more "dirty survival" but use from my POV even nastier tricks but that also just depends, anyhow I am a bit baffled by what happend the company I thought would like me the most was fairly neutral, eventually they are jealous of my extroverted abillity and just look for this mechnical lucifers, or fire monkeys or the "over-lords" but even that was weird, the other company was more open and they liked the town that I was in, more humbel and modest and professional without the issue of being a 10k+ company, and not seemingly hideous just professional without any strings attached, a bit shy where I am more domineering, but I am loyal to the core or even to the fault at times, it's very rare to find a person more honest than me, besides if you put me up with a liar, I had one of these in my friend groups steadily circumventing truth in order to look good, a bit of that swapped over, I mostly made it enchanting charm, I often admit my mistakes often, but I am not that type of "Leo seeking domineering or Lion seeking domineering quality", my mother is a tiger, and we're more active for the opportunity and joyous about it, it's imo a more intelligent type of survival, and it does not automatically mean I jump on every type of rat, imo if succesful tigers have a huge level of empathy and there are also these secret patterns in BaZi, but I have to get down towards more knowledge and eventually watch the video, make a discussion with a.i and create a quizz, I actually would just enjoy a game, but I am going out to buy some meat snacks etc. health I have to post-pone it's just not in the area whee the "elite" is and I forgot to call the doctor today, but I made so many phone calls etc. It's odd, it#s also annoying to be good at managing people, and besting oneself also makes that better, there was a nice quote in the Yi-Ching that I read beating others is "kraft" I use the german word here it makes more SINN, beating yourself our outgrowing yourself is true strength = Stärke.

My brief contemplation with Leo's quote and a.i giving my own questions, answers and perspective, I am suprised I can recover so well, but some destiny work I did with Deepak was just fucking odd, I manifested exactly what was possible in this world, a pro-gaming family with options to potentially venture into A.I and I meet my old and most annoying friend the fire monkey... gosh oh and there is more but later to that, I am getting rid of her and these ox tendencies or Aleph tendencies. 

My contemplation with A.I 

Quote

 

• Pynchons point is less “people uninterested in truth ask ancillary questions” and more: whoever controls the framing of the questions can prevent the important issue from being examined at all—“If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to worry about the
  answers.” Quoted image

  Applied to your situation:

  - An ancillary question can be truth-seeking if its answer supplies relevant context, tests an assumption, distinguishes competing explanations, or leads back to the central question.
  - It is diversionary if it consumes attention without changing what we can reasonably conclude about the central issue.
  - Someone uninterested in the truth may ask side questions whose answers are inconsequential, then use the discussion to avoid the decisive question.
  - But asking an irrelevant question does not by itself prove dishonest intent. A person may simply misunderstand what matters.

  So your interpretation is broadly right, with one refinement: a truth-seeker does not necessarily ask more ancillary questions. They ask relevant subsidiary questions and remain willing to let the answers revise their conclusion. The key test is:

  > If this side question were answered clearly, would it help resolve the central issue—and would the person accept the implications?

  If neither is true, the question is probably functioning as a distraction rather than an aid to truth.

 

 

[KosmicGeng]

 If this side question were answered clearly, would it help resolve the central issue—and would the person accept the implications?

This I am convinced of is mostly true to me, I already tasted deep truth it's an issue my body craves it, and what happens in my enviroment, it's odd being surrounded by historical enemies and the issue of the subconscious, I already healed so much I wish at times I could get an oscar or smth. I stopped with most of the shadow work and simply reflect I set-up a prompt with workbooks to go through this, but I find so much new stuff, omfg I have to use it finally. 

Tomorrow I can setup my new internet finally, somehow the automation thing or my 55.5 Minervia archetype deity in my D.N.A that I somehow see the 5 generally in the enneagram as the "entity" of automation etc. without the creativity just the pure power/strength of getting to Omnisicence or God, as that is something that 5 has as "spiritual virtue" and I am a w5 anyhow I stop here. 

[KosmicGeng]