New Journal [CD Process] -> Dev -> Rev -> Process

[KosmicGeng]

Not much time everything on block I can maximally be 1min on the site, still having some issues fixing most things, due to the negative influence of Leo's teaching and some ray ray parts that are obvious he is not rid of imo 

[KosmicGeng]

Messed around with the timer, I don't know if it will be good, the better my infrastructure the better I can use this, but also the enviroment here did not do me any well, besides my own comments and journal for survival, I have to see. I installed some tech stuff, and put this website only as a blocker, as I wasted most of my time here and got some help, there are some things I fundamentally disagree with Leo, as he is more Tamas driven, lethargic and destructive karma, idk what to think the perspecitve is valueable, but some things are not as explained as deeply as I crave them, so I might as well ditch actualized.org completely and take what's there most value I found in the booklist, somehow leo does not have the best impact on me and the psychological spectrum thing at times is just not good for me, there is to much projection of dispositions, which is flatout biased and racist, for a long time idk how to deal with this really besides talking with different people not touched by this org 

[KosmicGeng]

I stopped blocking the site, if I feel better and take action, the occasional post is good, but generally speaking I am only here for perspective. not really anymore the work of actualized.org and the information, I have to dispell some negative stuff I adopted through learning and following from leo etc. 

[KosmicGeng]

I stopped blocking the website, I presume my intetions are finally working out, studying more of the esoteric stuff, I downloaded an audibook yesterday as I got my phone back finally, on some meditation refreshers what they key distinctions are between schools & traditions, as I soft of wean off the conventional ways and include everything similar to a TOE, and reduce and break away what works does not work and did work, it is also a healing experience to dispell Leo, after understanding my own manfestation, and I am still on the fence of, can I use this for survival and good, or is it just as new agey at times as tarot that I am studying, I am making better decisions studying tarot, staying completely away from alcohol now, and the life choices I made, some issues are amplified by the issue of the nazification of tech, and some core intuitions and experiences I had here, but mostly I continue to use this site as long as I am doing something and making progress, there is still a level of maturity reached in order to entirely quit, and I've had my fair share of astrological truths and insights from having and doing these readings myself and building an intuition with it, as well as using these new A.I tools to simply work more efficiently and effectively with video summaries, quizzes etc. but I notice how from an advanced health perspective these tech tools sort of pull away the health that I experience, and that my heart frequency is sort of hijacked by all of the tech around me, it's still odd to the level of things, I am reading every night again, and found new ways to simple have more control, I also keep pulling positive spreads, and finally instead of training intuition writting some notes on core cards, and not only coincidences but learning the actual system to simple make better decisions, also the THOT tarot deck is super psychdelic I absolutely love the art and find it inspiring, the other decks have a bit more psychological and historical usage, but it will take some time I mostly see this as part of spirituality, but I am mostly focused on survival, and not a true meditative path that I was in more before, the situation with the ex put survival to much into the foreground and not True Spirituality, even with taints of enjoyments of survival, she could not meditate even 30 minute next to me, I was excited to go for 1h at least, I am back at 30 mins today, doing some healing 15 minutes and some other practice that I developed with all the audiobooks and knowledge I consumed. 

I am still in an odd situation, if anything negatively manifests for e.g people called the cops on me for being loud, while they are over-sensetive and tell them straight-up lies, I am to blunt and they make presumptions about things I never did like throwing around cartonage etc. This never happend to me till the break-up occured, I was the one who called the police as others were loud, when I meditated or studied and it was impossible, it's a very hideous character trait imo, I am healing daily from it as of now. 

[KosmicGeng]

I tested some settings for solo-retreats and it seems fine to do it, I am mostly pulling myself out of actualized.org there is just an issue that imo will never be solved as time is of essence, as long as there is rare information I stick to it, but I block it if it get's weird and hostile again, this goes for me also.