Trip report #2: 1.1694g of psilocybin cubensis (Known as Golden Teacher)

[Gabriel Joy]

Firstly, I am writing this trip report for myself to integrate, but I am posting it on the forum as it may be useful to others. That being said, please read my first trip report before reading this one; otherwise, you may not understand parts of it, as I won’t be repeating the context that was found in the first report. 

Setup and Context

Drug: 1.1694 g of psilocybin cubensis (commonly known as Golden Teacher)

Method of ingestion: Lemon tek

Intention: What is consciousness?

Test kit: Essential Drug Test Kit (3-in-1) – Package (https://testkitplus.com/product/drug-test-kit-marquis-morris-ehrlich) 

My first trip was on March 24, 2026. I feel like I sufficiently integrated the first one after a month. Therefore, I decided to have my second one on April 28, 2026, about a month (35 days) later. I corrected my two mistakes from the last trip and made sure to measure it precisely (and invest in measuring equipment) to know exactly how much I’m ingesting. I also didn’t need to test it, as the psilocybin cubensis came from the same batch as the previous trip.

I decided to do a lemon tek this time instead of simply ingesting the mushrooms to validate for myself experientially that it intensifies the trip and helps reduce nausea. I didn’t increase the dose from my previous trip, as if the lemon tek already increases the intensity (which it probably would), an increase from both a lemon tek and a higher dose would be too risky, as I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it emotionally. Here are the instructions I followed for the lemon tek:

• Measure your dose.
• Grind the measured dose and put it in the glass.
• Use two fresh lemons or limes (remove seeds beforehand) or lemon/lime juice (I used two fresh organic lemons).
• Stir and make sure the juice covers all the mushrooms. It will likely create a paste. Let it sit for 10 minutes.
• Add water and drink quickly to avoid reducing the potency of the magic mushrooms.
• To prepare for the trip, I did the following:
• I turned off my alarm to sleep in the night before tripping (if my body would let me).
• I kept my phone off until the trip was completed.
• I meditated for 30 minutes before the trip.
• I prepared lunch.
• I wore soft, comfy clothing.
• I took the following day off to rest and integrate the trip.

The only aspect that I noticed could have been improved before the trip was my energy level. The previous week was the final exam week of the semester (I’m a second-year student pursuing a bachelor’s degree in social work), and I was quite exhausted from studying for and taking exams. However, instead of pacing myself by working and completing other tasks at a leisurely pace, I exhausted myself by maintaining a fast pace (maximizing the 24 hours in my day by always planning to do something). I was too caught up in the idea of being free from academia, as it was the last semester in which I’d have to take five classes and maintain high grades. During the summer, I only have to take the equivalent of four full-time classes (two intensive classes), and then I’ll be free of grades.

Therefore, I went into the trip tired. This definitely hurt my concentration during the trip, as I wasn’t able to focus on the intention (What is consciousness?) as much as I could have. Hence, in the future, I’ll make sure to be adequately rested before the trip to make the most of the experience.

I also couldn’t delay the trip, as I’m only home alone on Mondays and Tuesdays. The following week, summer school starts, and I’m definitely not doing psychedelics during the school year, as it would probably have too big of a negative impact on my grades, which are essential for getting into a master’s program in order for me to become a therapist. This is essential to fulfilling my life purpose of helping people with anxiety and depressive disorders awaken to reality. So it was either I do psychedelics despite the fatigue, or I wait about 60 days to do my second trip. I chose to trip.

That being said, I was still a little anxious due to the lemon tek, but not nearly as much as the first time, as I had the reference experience to calm me down and knew the experience was going to be worth it.

The Trip - Part 1 Chaos
The events are more or less in chronological order as I remember them.

As I drank my concoction, I lay down in bed without any music and put on an eye mask to better focus on my thoughts. I began asking myself, “What is consciousness?” as I waited for the psilocin to take effect. Nothing really happened until the nausea suddenly came. However, the nausea was much weaker than in my first trip and was very easy to ignore. It resembled more of a minor discomfort in my stomach, comparable in intensity to being slightly sore from a good workout. Hence, lemon tekking definitely reduces nausea for me, and I’ll make sure to always lemon tek from now on instead of ingesting the mushrooms raw.

When the visuals hit, they came on much faster than with raw mushrooms. I knew this by quickly removing my eye mask and looking at the white wall, which breathed like a large beast and had a nice circular rainbow of red, yellow, green, and pink that surrounded my vision in a partial frame that was about 75% complete. The bottom left part was missing. It was clearly more vivid compared to the last trip. Lemon tekking definitely increases the intensity of the trip.

As I put my eye mask back on, I attempted to refocus by asking myself, “What is consciousness?”, but the ever-changing visuals were too distracting for me to do so consistently. Instead, I saw a plethora of constantly changing visuals that were continuously morphing. As soon as I was able to identify a distinct form, it would change into something different and remain in constant movement. There were thousands of these objects, and each one was intertwined and only occasionally had color. For example, at one point I saw a series of purple diagonal lines that went to the right and then suddenly disappeared as something else took their place. Don’t ask me what; I don’t remember.

However, one visual stood out to me: an infinitely deep, multicolored, downward tunnel of red, yellow, green, and pink that spun like a tornado. The colors were like little sparks that formed the tunnel, and the image itself was quite beautiful. At that moment, it occurred to me how infinite reality is. Much like the tunnel, it never ends—it just goes and goes and goes and goes. The tunnel then disappeared.

I then needed to go to the washroom, as I drank a total of three glasses of water before the trip (which was a mistake on my part). One was out of nervousness, one was the concoction (this one was valid), and another was to capture the ground mushrooms that were left in the glass after drinking the concoction. I should’ve avoided the first one, and for the third one, I should’ve simply used a spoon to get the remaining particles that were stuck in the glass. Therefore, to avoid going to the washroom during the trip in the future, I’ll make sure to strictly limit the amount of liquids I drink beforehand. I then walked more or less crookedly to the washroom, as it was impairing my ability to concentrate on my trip. On my way there and back, I noticed very clearly that most objects had a green, yellow, and pink glow. This was a second confirmation that lemon tekking increases the strength, as it wasn’t nearly as vivid during the last trip when I looked at objects in my room. 

The Trip - Part 2 Clarity

When I came back from the washroom and put on my eye mask, the images had a much more painful feeling to them. The background was fully black, with about a dozen white faces expressing agony and repetitively disappearing and reappearing. It resembled what it would look like if someone were pressing their face against the surface of full-body monochrome suits (the ones you wear on Halloween), making their features appear.

This sent me two messages. First, don’t go to the washroom during the trip. The psychedelic doesn’t like it, and I felt a clear, temporary downgrade in the experience after I came back compared to before I went. The feelings were more negative (anxious, fearful, sinister, etc.) compared to before going to the washroom. Second, the faces were probably those of my family members. It’s trying to tell me not to neglect them so much, as I’m being too ruthless with my time (by not spending time with them), which is harming my relationship with them. Considering I live with them and will for the next three years, I should work toward improving these relationships or, at a minimum, maintain them.

The faces then went away, and the colorful chaos came back. The only visual that stood out to me long enough was a high-speed road at the top right of my vision, combined with a carousel that was roughly at the bottom right. The road looked exactly like a satellite image of a highway sped up by 100x, where you’d only see lines of white and yellow zooming past. As for the carousel, I only saw the top right corner of it, which had a golden and red pattern, along with a lantern at the top to light it. It also had a contour of yellow lights surrounding its rim that would turn slowly to entrance the people beneath it.

Two messages were here. First, I was very much like the highway, and it would be good to pace myself, or else I’ll burn out so badly that it will be highly problematic. This is because, generally, I am so structured and focused on my goals that if I don’t allow myself to rest, it will ultimately harm my productivity and make me fail. I’ve also been gradually increasing my expectations without allowing myself to rest to compensate for the increased amount of effort. For example, on a regular day, I expect myself to do the following:

• 30 minutes of concentration practice
• 1 hour of Kriya yoga (and increasing)
• Holotropic breathwork once a month
• Psychedelics once a month (new addition!)
• 30 minutes of reading personal development
• 90% or higher for grades
• No entertainment (social media, video games, board games, movies, etc.)
• No useless socialization (it’s a distraction)
• No sexual relationships (unless beneficial to other goals)
• No junk food or desserts
• No restaurants
• Work at least 6 hours per week
• Watch a video on personal development or spirituality once a week
• No useless spending (no decorations, no art, etc.)
• Maintain a sleep schedule from 7:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.
• No screens starting from 7:00 p.m.
• Wash my sheets every month
• Work out three times a week (weight training)
• No rest (this one was implicit until now)
• Embody all of the above 95% of the time

Looking at this list, I realize how absurd I am. I expect to do all this on my own, without external guidance? Jesus Christ! I know I’m hardcore, but this is way too hardcore! I need to scale back. I’ll make sure to update this list and give myself a bit of slack, as there’s no way I can maintain this—and rest. REST! How do we do that? That’s something else I need to contemplate. I’m glad I have the time to do so before classes start again.

As for the carousel, it is a simple reminder that I need to stop rushing. It’s a metaphor that I need to pace myself so that I can continue “turning” to help other people, like the carousel that continues to provide entertainment to others. Also entertainment for me to actually enjoy my life as I strive to improve it.

My trip finished off in peace, as I was too exhausted to really reflect, so I simply sat there and let the psychedelic offer me comfort without directing it. I let myself be. That being said, I noticed that near the end of the trip, right before it starts coming down, is the best time to reflect, as I’m not bombarded by images and I’m in a calm state, having gotten used to being on the psychedelic for the last two hours. Therefore, I’ll make sure to use this window of time to contemplate on important topics in the future. The effects then wore off, and I drank a bit of water before going to the washroom (I needed to go again). 

Post-trip - Part 3 Laughter 

As I arrived at the washroom and looked in the mirror, I started laughing for no clear reason. I found it hilarious to be alive and spent a good fifteen minutes laughing while trying to wash my hands, but failing to do so. Why? I think I intuitively knew that I had found the tool for achieving the awakening I was looking for—that psychedelics are the best way to achieve awakening. In just two trips and two reports, I learned more about myself than in nine holotropic breathwork sessions and an equivalent amount of time spent meditating or doing kriya yoga. I’m very glad to have genuinely tried psychedelics.

I then ate lunch and went to watch Flow (2024 animated film). Initially, I brought a large bowl of nuts with me, but as I started watching the movie, I realized I was repeating a pattern that I was actively trying to avoid. Therefore, I paused the movie, put the nuts back in the pantry, and simply watched the movie. There was no need for food; a good movie is sufficient to allow one to rest. 

Post-trip reflections and main takeaways:

• Rest. I need to take rest seriously, like awakening, as it’s getting in the way of everything else in my life. I’ll have to make it a habit and actually dedicate time to it, or else I won’t do it.
• Rest, especially before psychedelics. If you don’t feel rested, it greatly reduces the potential of the trip. I’ll make sure to be adequately rested before the trip.
• Spend some time with your family. I need to invest time in my relationships to make sure they don’t go sour.
• Psychedelics temporarily lower productivity, especially on the same day. Don’t expect to be productive, as you’ll still be too heavily influenced by the trip to do anything requiring a lot of concentration.
• Always write a trip report. It helps maximize the gains you get from psychedelics.
• Lemon tekking increases the intensity and onset of the trip.
• Lemon tekking reduces nausea.
• Reality is infinite. I know that experientially now. Although I could definitely learn on a much deeper level in the future, I’ve only seen a hair of it.

Thank you for reading my trip. I hope it helped you in some way. Feel free to leave your comments, questions and encouragements below.

[Gabriel Joy]

Post-Trip #2 Reflections

I’ll start by saying that I screwed up. HPPD symptoms appeared after the trip. Specifically, flat surfaces would start “breathing” again, much like the side of a beast. These visuals would only appear early in the morning and in the evening. Except, instead of being accompanied by the usual feelings of comfort and joy, they would trigger anxiety and fear.

This was probably due to two things. Firstly, the fatigue I had during the trip facilitated their onset. My nervous system simply wasn’t ready for such an intense experience. Sleep deprivation and fatigue definitely contributed to the development of HPPD symptoms. Secondly, I made the mistake of attending a one-day holotropic breathwork retreat on May 2nd, only three days after the psychedelic experience. I wasn’t prepared for this trip, as I was still processing the effects of the psychedelic experience. Not only that, but it also aggravated the symptoms by strengthening whatever neural pathways were producing the HPPD. Therefore, if I develop HPPD symptoms again, I should avoid all intense non-ordinary states of consciousness. You’ll definitely regret it otherwise.

I also experienced mild HPPD symptoms during my first trip, but I didn’t identify them as HPPD because there was no anxiety attached to them. When my carpet deformed, I was slightly confused, but mostly thought it was kind of cool to have a reminder of my first psychedelic experience, as it reminded me why I was working so hard in the first place. This only happened three times in total and disappeared after 72 hours. Looking back, I probably should have investigated those harmless visuals more seriously so that I would have approached future trips with greater caution, knowing that the symptoms could become much worse if I wasn’t careful.

As for dealing with the HPPD, I’d say I did a few things that helped. Firstly, I noticed that if I wasn’t focused on a meaningful task or if I kept my gaze fixed for too long, the flat surfaces in my field of vision would start “breathing.” Therefore, I stayed busy to prevent the visuals from emerging, especially at night, and I would move my head or shift my focus whenever they appeared. Secondly, whenever I noticed the visuals, I tried to let go of the anxiety they provoked while simultaneously focusing on another task, so that I wouldn’t become obsessed with them. Thirdly, I did my best not to obsess over the condition itself, since that would only prolong my suffering. I continued living my daily life as if the symptoms didn’t exist.

My regular workouts, consistent sleep schedule, and healthy nutrition also helped significantly. I was already avoiding all drugs, including caffeine, which probably helped as well. My daily “do nothing” meditation and Kriya Yoga practice also seemed helpful, providing temporary relief from the visuals without altering my state of consciousness enough to worsen the symptoms. In fact, I’d say they did the opposite by reducing the overall anxiety I had about the HPPD symptoms. Using my finger as a pacing tool while reading also helped tremendously, since the movement prevented the visuals from emerging and also improved my focus on the task at hand.

Then came a turning point.

One evening, I was reading a book and could tell that the HPPD symptoms were  present. In the corner of my vision, I could see flat surfaces subtly changing while I tried to focus on the book, using my finger as a pacer to make the visuals disappear. The usual feeling of “fluidity” emerged, as it typically did every morning and evening. It’s difficult to describe, but it felt as though reality itself was no longer solid and could melt at any moment. Intuitively, I sensed that this was not a good thing.

The book was interesting enough that I eventually forgot about the symptoms and became fully absorbed in reading. Then suddenly, a moment of bliss hit me. I stopped reading and looked around the room. The world felt much more solid than before, and the symptoms had retreated. I looked at a flat surface, and nothing appeared. A smile spread across my face. At that moment, I knew the symptoms weren’t permanent and that they would gradually fade away. Shortly afterward, I went to bed feeling satisfied and hopeful.

From that point on, things went uphill. Every day, the symptoms weakened in both frequency and intensity until the following Thursday, when I experienced another blissful moment around 5:00 p.m. after exercising—though it clearly wasn’t caused by the exercise itself. After that, the symptoms practically vanished. The world felt solid again.

Here’s the timeline to give an idea of how long this lasted:

Psychedelic trip = April 28th, 2026

Holotropic breathwork session = May 2nd, 2026

First bliss moment = May 10th, 2026

Second bliss moment + near elimination of symptoms = May 14th, 2026

End of residual anxiety = Ongoing, but decreasing

In retrospect, I recovered relatively quickly (16 days), even though it felt much longer at the time. Most people don’t recover nearly as fast. However, this experience leaves me with three questions:

When—or should—I try psychedelics again, fully knowing that HPPD symptoms may return?

My initial plan was to gradually use psychedelics to help me understand reality experientially, but now the risk has increased significantly because I’ll likely develop the symptoms again. That being said, if I ever decide to try psychedelics again, it would be 5-MeO-DMT at a low dose. The risk is simply too high with other substances before taking the one most likely to help me awaken. However, realistically, I’d say there’s a 25% chance that HPPD would be permanent and a 75% chance that it would go away if I were to try 5-MeO-DMT. Therefore, I’m not going to take it, at least not until I’m 25 years old. Then I’ll reconsider. But for now, the answer is no psychedelics. Period.

Will holotropic breathwork reactivate HPPD symptoms?

I plan to test this on June 13th during a one-day holotropic breathwork workshop. It probably won’t reactivate the symptoms, since I never had any before using psychedelics, meaning that it probably needs a chemical to trigger the symptoms in me, but I want to make sure that’s truly the case by confirming it.

That being said, I’m still glad I tried psychedelics, and I don’t regret the trip. One unexpected by-product of the experience was that it clarified my life purpose. My life purpose is now to help people with HPPD self-actualize (achieve their life purpose) and self-realize (awaken). For the first time in my life, I’m satisfied with my life purpose. I genuinely think this one will stay permanently.

As for HPPD, this vulnerability is tragic. It’s unfair that some people are essentially blocked from psychedelics, since they appear to be one of the most powerful tools for personal development available. Because of this, I want to dedicate my life to solving this problem and finding a systematic, methodical alternative to awakening that does not rely on psychedelics.

For now, I’ve sent an email to the Perception Restoration Foundation to volunteer, because before trying to solve this issue, I first need to better understand what I’m dealing with. I need to learn and also get experience treating it (once I’m a legal therapist).

This leaves me with one last question:

If you're not taking psychedelics to awaken, then how are you going to do it?

Simple: I'll create a non-drug method. After all, it’s part of my life's purpose to do so! That being said, so far, the best results I had were with holotropic breathwork in a group setting at a 6-day module. It’ll take years and maybe even decades to figure this out, but hey, there’s really nothing more satisfying for me to do other than this, so I’m going to go ahead and do it.