Jordan's Solo Meditation and Exercise Journal

[Jordan]

Hello, I just finished a 12 week meditation bootcamp with Contemplative CrossFit. I decided to not join the next daily meditation bootcamp but I joined their once a week discussion/meditation recording to keep in touch with people there. I plan to continue meditating solo and recording my notes here.

I also will be recording the exercise I do. I will start today as week 1 day 1. 2026-04-20

 

Solo meditation
Week 1 day 1

Sitting time 5:55am-6:45am, 50 minutes

Main takeaways, The body and all experience is constantly changing, for constant change to happen, it requires in a sense the old to die to make room for the new. There is constant death and birth. The only thing not in this process in knowing itself. Knowing how things are now.

I noticed some anxiety sensation in my heart. I am not sure the cause of this feeling. It may be the fact that I don’t know much which leave the possibility open that I could die or be injured sometime soon.

If I hold the hypothesis that I am not a human experiencing reality but I am instead the knowing that knows through being, then it seems there is little need to take anxiety too seriously because in the end no appearance can harm me. After a while the anxiety feeling seemed to go away I felt, saw and heard reality as it was. I had a sensation to stretch and look at the time a couple minutes before my alarm went off so I did that then stopped.

I feel more conscious now than yesterday. Considering that I may be just knowing through being itself, which is not equal to but not separate from conceptual understanding, seems to help increase that amount of knowing/level of consciousness. It sort of prioritizes how things are up above just how to survive in a better way. I still prioritize the survival of the body above truth but truth is still above needing to survive past a minimum need I have set for myself. 

Edited Monday at 04:53 PM by Jordan

[Jordan]

week 1 day 1 for exercises

the last 3 weeks I have been doing 10 minutes of 5 pull ups 10 pushups 5 split squats each leg as many sets as I can do 6 days a week then 1 day a week around 2 hours of indoor bouldering. This day is after my climbing day and I finished with 16 pullups after climbing and now it feels I will injure myself trying to do one pull up so I decided not to do my normal exercise.

Instead I did 10 minutes of finger training by pulling on a wooden crimp block with a carabiner on it. I just pull with around 20 lbs of force on one hand for around 15 seconds then switch to the other and do this for 10 minutes. I did it 3x throughout the day. I plan to do this everyday for the foreseeable future and see if it helps my climbing. 

Week 1 day 2 Meditation

I meditated 6:11am to 6:40am - 29 minutes

I found out during the meditation bootcamp I just did that I suppress my emotions much more than I thought I did so I was just sitting being open to how I feel emotionally and accepting all parts of experience. Yesterday when I felt anxiety it was probably the first time I could actually feel that emotion clearly. It took me a while to put a name to it. A memory came up of around 15 years ago when I was trying to open up my body to be more approachable in the super market. an older woman opened up a conversation with me and I started contracting and getting uncomfortable. I guess this memory came up because I have been feeling into anxiety and trying to bring up times when I felt that emotion. I would like to condition myself to be comfortable if those emotions come up and not need to act all weird and be more outgoing / enjoy myself more in what I consider uncomfortable situations. I am playing around with trying to remove all my beliefs and see them as just thoughts with no truth to their meaning although their meanings do seem to have usefulness in achieving outcomes I aim for.

Edited Tuesday at 02:47 PM by Jordan

[Jordan]

Week 1 day 2 Workout

I did 3x 10 minutes of finger exercises like day 1. My lats were still sore so I didn’t do my pullup pushup squat workout.

Week 1 day 3 - Meditation

6:03 – 6:40 sat 37 minutes

I felt into my body. I daydreamed about talking to a woman at a party that looked like she was feeling anxiety. I helped her get over it by guiding her into feeling it fully for several minutes. Then I showed her how to enjoy herself more which involved open mindedness in the form of really not knowing what will happen next and focusing attention on how things are now. I thought about what I want to do today. I didn’t make lunch so I thought maybe I will skip lunch then when I get home instead of making dinner I will stare at a wall for 3 hours and record myself to make a video on how to enjoy yourself even though you are hungry and staring at a wall. I think that would make a good video and something I would enjoy doing.

[Jordan]

Week 1 day 3 workout

2x 10 minutes finger exercises

Week 1 day 3 meditation part 2

I filmed the 3 hour video of me sitting staring at a wall I guess that counts as meditation. I will do the voiceover of it tonight and maybe post it if it is ready.

Week 1 day 4 meditation

I only sat for 12 minutes today. I was running late because I slept in because I was up filming that staring at a wall video. The meditation went well. I felt into my body and reflected on the sit I did last night staring at the wall. 

[Jordan]

I did the voiceover and posted the video last night.  It was fun making the video. I see I have a lot I could improve on but I am still happy I posted something. Here it is:

Week 1 day 4 exercise

just 2x 10 minutes of finger exercises again. I should try to do my normal daily exercises again now that I have given my body time to recover.

Week 1 day 5 meditation

I was distracted a lot with thinking about the video I posted. I felt an uncomfortable emotion in my belly and tried to feel into it as much as I could. I probably sat around 30 minutes.

 

[Jordan]

A list of things I could make a video on for a Can you enjoy series:

Can you enjoy talking about meditation for 8 hours - Make many 1 minute videos talking about meditation, review them, figure out how to make them better then try again for 8 hours. Show one of my first videos then one after 8 hours. 

Can you enjoy getting from platinum to masters only using queens in SC2

Can you enjoy doing 500 pushups

Can you enjoy doing 100 pullups

Can you enjoy a cold shower

Can you enjoy getting out of bed or

getting up at 3am

counting to 10,000

Can you enjoy meditating 4am-5:30am every day for a month?

Edited 37 minutes ago by Jordan