Jordan's Solo Meditation and Exercise Journal

[Jordan]

Hello, I just finished a 12 week meditation bootcamp with Contemplative CrossFit. I decided to not join the next daily meditation bootcamp but I joined their once a week discussion/meditation recording to keep in touch with people there. I plan to continue meditating solo and recording my notes here.

I also will be recording the exercise I do. I will start today as week 1 day 1. 2026-04-20

 

Solo meditation
Week 1 day 1

Sitting time 5:55am-6:45am, 50 minutes

Main takeaways, The body and all experience is constantly changing, for constant change to happen, it requires in a sense the old to die to make room for the new. There is constant death and birth. The only thing not in this process in knowing itself. Knowing how things are now.

I noticed some anxiety sensation in my heart. I am not sure the cause of this feeling. It may be the fact that I don’t know much which leave the possibility open that I could die or be injured sometime soon.

If I hold the hypothesis that I am not a human experiencing reality but I am instead the knowing that knows through being, then it seems there is little need to take anxiety too seriously because in the end no appearance can harm me. After a while the anxiety feeling seemed to go away I felt, saw and heard reality as it was. I had a sensation to stretch and look at the time a couple minutes before my alarm went off so I did that then stopped.

I feel more conscious now than yesterday. Considering that I may be just knowing through being itself, which is not equal to but not separate from conceptual understanding, seems to help increase that amount of knowing/level of consciousness. It sort of prioritizes how things are up above just how to survive in a better way. I still prioritize the survival of the body above truth but truth is still above needing to survive past a minimum need I have set for myself. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Jordan