Journal

[Someone here]

3 days without smoking .

[Someone here]

Let’s try to replace smoking with intense meditation sessions for dealing with stress . The problem is that smoking itself makes me enter a meditative state spontaneously. And obviously helps with killing stress in and of itself . 
day 0.

[Someone here]

All of social life is fake.

Every single person wears masks when they interact with other people. We all perform. We all adjust ourselves depending on who is standing in front of us. We change our tone, our expressions, our opinions, our behavior, even our body language. We become whatever version of ourselves is necessary for the situation.

When you are completely alone, that’s your authentic self.

And your authentic self is innocent, spontaneous, careless, peaceful, sad in a bitter-sweet way. There is something almost childlike about the self that exists when nobody is watching. You don’t have to impress anyone. You don’t have to prove anything. You don’t have to be attractive, successful, intelligent, interesting, confident, productive, or socially acceptable.

You can simply exist.Our true nature is emptiness.

Social life and life’s demands require for us to put on a fake mask in order to fit in. From the moment we enter society, we slowly learn which parts of ourselves are acceptable and which parts are not. We learn what gets approval, what gets rejected, what makes people uncomfortable, what makes people attracted to us, what makes people respect us, and what makes them ignore us.

Begin to notice it when you interact with people.Notice how much of your personality changes depending on who you are talking to. Notice how carefully you choose your words. Notice how often you laugh when something isn’t really funny. Notice how often you pretend to care. Notice how often you pretend to be confident when you are uncertain. Notice how often you hide sadness, insecurity, jealousy, boredom, anger, loneliness, or desire because you know they might make you less socially acceptable.You are acting like the best actor in Hollywood.

And what’s worse is that everyone knows that, but they are choice-less.

What are you going to do?

 

How are you gonna feed yourself without socializing? How are you gonna get sex? How are you gonna make money? How are you gonna build a career? How are you gonna have friends, relationships, status, security, comfort? You have to participate.

You have to smile when you don’t feel like smiling. You have to make conversation when you have nothing to say. You have to sell yourself. You have to convince people that you are competent, desirable, interesting, trustworthy, successful. You have to learn how to present yourself in a way that society rewards.

 

Successful people are people who are hyper aware that society is a rat race of who’s gonna act better to make the most money and pleasure they can squeeze out of this life.The person who understands the game learns how to play it.They learn how to talk. They learn how to dress. They learn how to network. They learn when to be agreeable and when to be aggressive. They learn how to sell an idea, sell a product, sell themselves. They learn what people want to hear.And eventually, some become extremely good at it.

But beneath all of that is still the same empty, quiet person.The person who goes home alone.The person who takes off the mask.The person who sits in silence and suddenly doesn’t know what they are supposed to be doing anymore.

And maybe that is why being alone can feel strangely peaceful and strangely sad at the same time.