Complete mayhem in my life, need some advice

[highfalutin]

Hey everyone. I could really use anything right now -- advice, perspective, or just someone to listen. I’d really appreciate it.

Lately, I’ve been feeling really confused because a big part of my life suddenly changed. After three years of dating a wonderful girl, I decided to break up with her. Her only real drawback was that she’s extremely emotional. I’m not someone who shows emotions easily, and she actually taught me to open up more -- something I’m grateful for. But even after the first 2 years of dating, I felt like I didn’t love her anymore. I couldn’t understand why. I even talked to her about it and tried to be honest, but now I’m starting to realize it might have been because of the emotional toll it was taking on me every day. I believed that if I couldn't withstand her mood swings, I must be weak -- because I used to be so pathetic. I’m scared.

I really care about how others feel. I can’t stand seeing her in a bad mood -- but even something as small as someone walking by and smoking could irritate her and ruin her entire day.

The message I wanted to post here three days ago ended with: "We’re still talking after the breakup, but we’re not making plans for the future anymore. I’ve tried not to hurt her or make her sad, but honestly, that feels impossible. And I don’t say this to brag -- maybe my ego is playing a part here -- but I decided to keep paying her rent until she finds a new boyfriend. Still, it breaks my heart when she cries, and I feel awful about the whole situation."

I couldn't log in to the forum right after writing that, and since then, things have changed. Recently we met and ended up having sex. She promised it didn’t mean anything. I told her that I had already texted another girl to arrange a meetup soon after the breakup. She said it was okay, since we were broken up.

But two days ago, she texted me saying she had still been hoping things would work out between us -- and that I’m an asshole for doing that so soon after we ended. I do agree with her. But I truly believed she wasn’t holding onto hope anymore. Now she hates me -- though still very mildly. She blocked me everywhere except one app and asked me not to write to her again.

Sorry for the long message, but I’m really mortified right now. Should I tell her anything, or just let her heal faster through the hatred she now feels? Thanks. It means a lot.

[Spiritual Warrior]

Give her space, that is the best thing for her right now 

You cannot heal her wounds, only time will 

Edited 2 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior