I hope I can change title because I can't think of a better one right now

[felixk_priv]

I don't know what the point of starting a journal is . But I am so passionate about personal development , so I end up spending my time using this very format that I am currently writing on to journal anyway . So I'll post this , and leave it as an open question as to what the point of sharing my personal life is in on here . Maybe it's interesting if people respond , and I can get different perspectives . Could be very useful . Yes . I don't particularly see the point on posting on the forum most of the time.  Or engaging . Throwaway comment . Is there really a point ? Maybe . 

 

What have most have been the most powerful ways I have grown ? Glad you asked , and glad you care . 

 

1. Going from my full hedonistic lifestyle to deciding the day before to surrender to a whole mental list of things that are banned. 

2. Constantly asking what the best actions for me are . I feel like I am tapping into my intelligence . I feel amazing . From this , I have a very high self esteem , and it doesn't feel like it's in a egotistical way . I spend my time constantly asking what the best possible actions are , and that leads me to following what I think the best possible actions are for me . What does this mean ? The best possible actions . Well is it asking out of all the things I could do , what is the best thing for me to do right now ? That's the structure of my life . Out of all the things I could do , what is it the best thing I could do right now . As you can imagine that's very authentic , it's a clarity based approach . It's weird to be constantly asking what the best possible actions are . It's like I am constantly contemplating which seems different to how I would imagine other successful people structuring their day . Yes certainly . But maybe it's more similar than I think . The thing is , it's so fluid . It's not very routine based . It can be something different often .  This is so rough , I don't know why anyone would want to read this . 

What is the point of posting this , I literally don't see the point . I want to share it anyway . So I guess I will . 

 

[felixk_priv]

I have this relationship to going outside my comfort zone . Not sure what it is . Is it the best thing for me to keep going outside my comfort zone . I don't know why it is ? I know it would probably make me feel great , but I just don't get why it is . Why . Why . Why . Why . Why . Does it grow you ? Does it ? I am not sure if I have seen that . Why do it . I could have today . Why do it . I don't get it . Why . Why . Why . Why . Why . Why . Why . Okay I feel fucking amazing when I do it . I feel fucking amazing . Right . Do you feel like a new person when you do it . Maybe I should change my relationship to it ? Going outside my comfort zone ... I don't see the point . I don't know if I'll feel amazing every time . What do I actually get out of it . What do I actually get out of it . Well listen you could start doing it and find out . What an excellent idea , but seriously do you need to learn how to do it . Do you need to learn how to do it ? Journaling is so powerful no doubt  . How do I distinguish journaling and contemaplting . This is contemaplting . Come on it is , but you still distinguish them different in a way , maybe . Going outside my comfort zone . What is the point ? Okay you could start doing it . But could if you wanted to , that's the question . Could you actually if you wanted to . Do you keep fucking up . Is it that you are indecisive . Okay recognise when to go outside your comfort zone . Spot the opportunity to go outside your comfort zone . Step 1. Okay I see it . Step 2 . What is step 2 . Hm . At this point , does some bullshit happen ? This is the question , does some bullshit happen ? Well , obviously . Step 1 recognise an opportunity . Step 2 simply ask , can you surrender . Damn is it that I want to get distracted . Is it that I want to get distracted . It's like I can , wow it's like I can't just . Today there was the feeling , that it's like I just didn't want to sit with it , maybe I was resisting it , seems right ( classic resistance ) ( always at it ) yes so the same thing with the comfort zone . You just can't sit with actually fucking focusing . Well godam Howdy 🤠 🤠 . This is fucking it . Cracked . I swear Is self development so fucking easy or am I tripping . You just don't fucking focus . You just don't fucking focus Walla .  Ah yes , so simply . Recognise opportunity , and then recognise when you aren't wanting to focus , just become aware of that.  Hm mindfulness . Just become aware of that . That's all you need to do . That's all you need to do.  Yes . That's all you need to do . Seriously . Just become aware of it . Yes . That's the distraction . Stop distracting yourself . Just stop it . Stop distracting yourself . Notice yourself distracting yourself.  So will I do this tomorrow we will see . I am sure there will be an opportunity , and I am sure I will be aware of myself distracting myself , and I feel like I can be successful with this approach . I feel like I can . Simple as . Right . Wow that would be amazing to have figured this out . Literally amazing . Best possible action ? Maybe dress well in case your going to be cold approaching . Sounds like a good idea . Usually I present myself actually worse than the typical guy here in Germany.  Should I change this maybe , but you should dress and present yourself nice tomroow when you are going out . Is self development easy .  Hm . Well well . Maybe . Best possible action . Lets start getting ready for bed , byeeeee

[felixk_priv]

Going outside my comfort zone . What would it do for my life ? What if can continually do it successfully . I don't even know what to say . Would it add to the quality of my life ? Recognise opportunity -> am I distracting myself . Going outside my comfort zone . I remember feeling very masculine in the past when I did so . ' way more masculine . Indeed . What Is my dating situation right now . Well it doesn't really exist , and you have been identifying as someone , who doesn't really take actions to go outside their comfort zone in terms of their dating life . So if you start going outside your comfort zone , it would be super easy to start actually getting results and actually being a guy who takes actions in terms of his dating life . Simple as . That's the value of it. Yes . That is . Okay well let's see what happens . What else is the value of going outside ones comfort zone ? Feeling very masculine . Hm . Wow . I mean how I am going to feel like if I go outside my comfort on a regular basis . Jeez . Wow.  Damn . That will be something.  We will see . We will see . What else would be the value ? Surely this is right . Yes . This is so fucking right . You need to do this . You need to do this . So right . So right . So right . So right . Yes . Yes . But what actually is the point of going outside your comfort . So there is an opportunity , but why do it , what's the point , what is it going to do for me ? Does it do anything ? Does it grow you ? Well perhaps the thing you are doing , will be less uncomfortable in the future right .