Dealing with a Covert Narcissist:

[ExploringReality]

Has anyone here experienced being in a relationship with the vulnerable covert narcissist? 

This shit will drive you insane. I've been spending the last month studying the psychology of narcissism and the different types. It's baffling because you could be in a relationship with someone or even family members can be narcissist and you wouldn't even know it. 

There are different types of narcissisms, malignant, overt and covert or otherwise known as vulnerable narcissist. The vulnerable covert narcissist is the most insidious and the most baffling of them all because they don't just tell you up front that they're a narcissist, they are the wounded victim and they're the good ones and no one understands them. They feed off of your emotional fuel whether it's positive or negative. They fish for reactions because it gives them a sense of control and security. They leech off of your validation and admiration, they are passing aggressive because they are weak and they project their shame and guilt on to you to avoid looking inward and seeing how dysfunctional and toxic they are so it's easier to cast blame onto others. 

Don't try to explain yourself, defend yourself or fix them because it only fuels their narcissistic supply. There's a very deceptive dynamic at play, they idealize you, they love bomb you and shower you with praise, and when you don't feed them that admiration and validation they devalue and disrespect you, you react and defend yourself which further fuels their emotional and narcissistic need, and then they discard you and throw you away or threaten to leave or just put you in the dirt. Then they Hoover you, try to bait you in because it gives them a sense of control of your emotions. 

All of it seems obviously toxic when you spell it out like this but anyone in a relationship like this you cannot tell what's going on, it's like being trapped in a spider's web the more you move the more stuck you get. 

It's important to know the distinction between healthy and unhealthy forms of feminine.

You will never win with these folks because they lack empathy, self-reflection and accountability. Don't try to change them.

Here are their parasitic tricks.

 

•Victim theatrics escalate

•Passive-aggressive escalation

•Blame-shifting intensifies

•Hoovering attempts

•Overt anger or emotional explosions

•Triangulation

•Emotional withdrawal

•Seduction or idealization flickers

•Gaslighting intensifies

•Searching for external supply

 

Here are ways to handle them.

•Set firm boundaries and enforce them

•Gray rock — stay neutral and unreactive

•Don’t argue or justify yourself

•Refuse to feed drama or emotional highs

•Protect your energy first, always

•Keep communication clear, short, and factual

•Recognize projection and don’t internalize it

•Step back or disengage when manipulation escalates

•Document patterns if needed for clarity or protection

•Maintain your sovereignty and self-contained love

 

Edited Monday at 03:33 PM by ExploringReality

[Yimpa]

Block them and move on. 

Martial arts, baby!

[ExploringReality]

4 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Block them and move on. 

Martial arts, baby!

They like to throw things lol

[Yimpa]

6 minutes ago, ExploringReality said:

They like to throw things lol

 

(don’t literally do this, it is metaphorical. duh!)

[Yimpa]

You never have to resort to violence in a healthy relationship. That’s the key insight!

[ExploringReality]

@Yimpa

That was hilarious.

Why does the narcissist twist the truth? They claim that you're the dysfunctional one and you're the toxic one

[Yimpa]

Just now, ExploringReality said:

Why does the narcissist twist the truth? They claim that you're the dysfunctional one and you're the toxic one