Mark of the Beast

[No1Here2c]

I wish to express my thoughts & emotions through a medium which may be returned to and reflected upon. This is due to a recognition of the utility that the process of journaling provides to my development. I have an active desire to gain selfish and personal advantage through journaling. 

I have not journaled in the past, nor do I have any real ideas on how to effectively journal for personal insight. 

I do think that much insight has gone largely untapped and lay dormant on these empty pages.

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Edited October 28, 2025 by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Every day is a new adventure. The moments between the dreams of the morning and the closing of the eyes at night are filled with opportunities. These are countless opportunities to learn, strengthen, and gain insight. Although, these positive developments must come a cost. They come at the high price of casting away unconsciousness.

The nature of unconsciousness is such that I am not aware of it while it is occuring.

Unconscious thought patterns, behavioral activities, and emotional responses are extensively rooted into the mechanics of my survival. 

It is not recognized to what degree unconsciousness goes unrecognized, because lack of recognition is unconsciousness. If it were to magically recognize itself, unconsciousness would then immediately be brought into awareness, made conscious of, and it could no longer be unaware.

Edited October 29, 2025 by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Being October 31st, the day of Halloween, I do figure it may be appropriate to stick with tradition; I shall consider the topic of Fear.

What is your tolerance for fear?

Has your gut ever told you that something is just not right about a certain location, object, or experience?

Ghosts, witches, black cats, evil spirits. Why is Halloween associated with the supernatural and superstitious?

Has your sixth sense ever warned you of a sinister threat?

Witchcraft? Black magic?

Have you ever drank a Witches Brew?

Have you ever had a wicked spook? 

Has a maleficent terror ever pierced your mind?   

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Why do all mannerisms of fear evoke such strong reaction?

Is it all entangled in survival?

Why does the deer flee at any subtle sound or movement? What lurks in the wilderness? Why must she live incessantly on edge? 

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Imagine, just for a minute, what does the prey feel when dominated by the apex predator?

What is the predatory instinct?

What is the instinct of the prey? 

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What's your greatest fear?

Darkness?                                                    Uncertainty?                                                The Supernatural? 

  Spiders? Snakes?            Maybe a Tiger?                 Bear with cubs?                                                                                       Disease?                                Pain?                       being confined?                 trapped?

  Mental illness?                                                                    Delirium?                                             Psychosis?                                          Death?                                               Eternity?

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I will not walk alone in the woods at night. Twilight and dusk create a spooky atmosphere that promptly get me moving towards the direction of the car. The encroachment of dark and the dwindling ability to visually distinguish the environment evoke a deep dread; a terror of being dragged away by some mysterious dark force.

Perhaps it is a terror of losing my sense of direction. But it feels more serious. As if the psyche may slip out into madness.          Maybe gradually...                                              Maybe very quickly...

This condition of diminishing light is perfect for the arisal of perceptual illusions and artifacts which justify the fear. Sometimes convincing enough to send me sprinting for my life and sanity.

Are they merely illusion?                                Could there be a cryptic malevolence at play?

Being out in the wilderness and getting the spooks dont mix well.                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Sanity?      How is it defined?

What is Perception?

                              What is Hallucination?     

How is accurate perception distinguished from hallucinatory mirage?                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edited November 1, 2025 by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Insignificance is not to be feared, but reveled in.

Edited November 1, 2025 by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

My experience with this journal thus far has turned out to be a pleasant ritual. Not necessarily easy, but rewarding.

It provides a space for reflection, contemplation, games, exploration and experimentation. 

It is both a playful and serious endeavor.

I have been implementing more stereotypical mindfulness meditation into my day to day routine. This has also been a rewarding experience. Again, not easy, not always fun, but highly rewarding. 

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Consciousness

I am actively working to anchor my own psychology and biology to Consciousness as it is understood to me. This is not a complicated endeavor, but its simplicity belies the harrowing challenge it invokes.

It would seem such that the core of the society I currently find myself within, is profoundly oblivious to Consciousness. It is a depth of dissociation which bewilders my mind. It is absurd how far astray humanity has gone. This presents many obstacles to a successful and effective implementation of higher degrees of awareness.

I am afraid. I get the impression that a culling is underway. By this I refer to a targeted culling, specifically of myself. When I view my life in context and plot its trajectory, I understand that I simply will not survive without massive effort towards the implementation of Consciousness in my life. This is much to my dismay.

I surely am unsettled at the thought, but one would think my behavior would better reflect this emotional response. It is in the department of action and execution that I am falling short. This is not to say that no effort is being made, as one certainly is. It is the case that I must burgeon, and soon, or I will surely meet my demise.

Edited November 2, 2025 by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Hiding and Obscuring

I have begun to notice how much I like to hide the truth. I do it with a passion, almost out of complete compulsion. I love to try and take back what already is. I love to live in a world of imagination away from the dangers and reality of my behavior and situation.

Yet at the same time the only thing I am ultimately searching for in all of this, is truth. Life now seems to play a cruel trick. But maybe that is how it answers itself.

How on earth could any of this, possibly align with seeking of serious truth?

you see it is not mainly life whom holds you back but yourself.

I would like to say the only thing that can limit you is yourself. Though the statement isn't entirely reflective of this body's apparent nature. Even still, its one hell of a mindset to get you kickstarted.

The work must begin...

*Cue War Horns*

- Note that I dont really have a good reference point for what Truth is, or what it really means. Though I feel to have a good grasp on Consciousness.

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I was going to leave it there but I actually have begun to notice what I can only identify as ego backlash to this explication. It is not often I actually get the opportunity to observe and make notice of the ego backlash as it is begining to occur. 

I fully expect to succumb to this. this time I probably will. And that is okay. Growth is often nonlinear. Transmutation is woven into nature.

I think it is important we ask what happens if we were not to succumb?

What if we told no to egomind and brute survival mechanisms, and rather continued on with the slow burn of higher consciousness and insight?

Edited January 29 by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

what can be expected to happen when you corner a Rattlesnake?

Edited 22 hours ago by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Time for a retreat.

Not a frantic recoiling out of fear, but rather paradoxically, it is time for a deliberate and tactful retreat based on courage.

Call it Inwards illumination?

Edited 22 hours ago by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Illusion is the venom of Reality.

Edited 22 hours ago by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

What must be done after an operating system update?

Rebooting

Edited 21 hours ago by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Love could be the act of Seeing Oneself in All of Reality; Seeing All of Reality in Oneself.

Edited 21 hours ago by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

Just as the canoe must be dismounted in order to traverse dry land, so too must symbols in order to traverse Consciousness.