Desert flower p*ssy LSD trip

[WonderSeeker]

Introduction

My feet are raw: cuts, pine pitch and all

My hands are sore: abraised, puffy, and looking like "a job well done"

My head is on fire: like an inflamed computer chip still running on overdrive

My soul? alive and complete, as is
 

The trip

150ug LSD is consumed orally at 8:30am. It was a hot summer day in northern-central Arizona. I pulled on my forest green pants and a tan-colored hiking shirt. I looked like a forest ranger ready for action. I packed my notebook and strapped on my compass. I noted the tent's proximity to the cliff and the general compass direction I walked so I could find my way back. The weather was 75-95⁰F & partly cloudy. As I maneuvered through heavy pine forest, wiggling around some branches, bending others, I got the feeling that something massive was about to happen. I kept my composure; the day had just begun.

Eventually I hit a clearing with a new view beyond the cliffs. I set-up my collapsible tri-pod chair a safe distance from the cliffs to contemplate, journal, and be. Dozens of ants scuttled by. At first I feared they were of the aggressive type. Not fired red, but a more brown color. Not one climbed on me. I realized 90+% of nature is chill with you if you are still and relaxed around it. As I stared off the cliff (into the abyss) I began to feel deeper into my body. Initial thoughts included gratitude for Julien Blanc's trauma healing program I just went through, including the new friends I made in the process.

Also my reverence for natural beauty and the fact I developed enough self-trust to trip in nature, near 200-foot sandstone cliffs, a 10-minute hike from my friend. It was feeling and a more realistic kind of joy: one with a healthy dose of underlying discomfort. Discomfort in the sense of the hot weather and possibly of encounters with wildlife. But the only wildlife that approached were flies, who I recognized as organic robot-like alien creatures with as much reason to exist as other life. They exude their own natural beauty. And they're even friendly and chill as long as you're not swatting at them constantly.

Behind me, I heard a digging sound. I turned and focused with the gaze of a hawk letting his telescoping vision work for him. I saw a couple of small shrubs get yanked into the ground. A mole rat popped its head up. I felt giddy, but stayed quiet. I wanted to leave it be, but also go chase it (later in the day I would chase lizards across the campsite like a 8 year old boy, unabashed). When the heat of the sun kicked up a notch and the LSD began taking more effect, I jumped up and explored my newly charted territory one last time. Then I realized my water supply was already low and felt the call of camp. "It's time to find the tent".

I recalled my compass direction and took a straight-shot back. But not without some fear. I felt a literal sensation of 'overcoming' in the pit of my being. "Holy shit. Its just me out here and getting back to camp is ON ME." I felt dizzy and a little like a survival dude who's wondering if he'd made a wrong move. I smiled in the face of it and moved ahead with strength and focus. My body filled with chemicals I'd associate with discipline and healthy fear. I knew how to get back but felt fear like I was enduring physical survival from scratch. Oddly I enjoyed it.

Suddenly? The tent I was looking for quite literally popped out of things air a good 50 feet in front of me. A gigantic grin blossomed on my face. I felt like I'd just gone through the native American tradition of going into the woods as a rite of passage to become a man (though i didn't find a totem animal) and was now arriving to stand with the other men. I approached the tent, slowly unzipped it, and entered. My friend was pretending to sleep; how cute.

I got cozy and prepared for the fast-approaching peak of the trip. It felt like a tender moment was about to unfold. So I lied down, eyes closed. Out of nowhere, I saw a pink image on a black background. It looked like a vagina made of vibrant desert flowers. The vagina then started to curve into itself, with the flowers getting consumed beneath the lips. It was insanely beautiful, and I became overtaken in total rapture by the sight of it.

As the image of the pink desert vagina faded, my body became ultra-relaxed. Then, it started to spasm. Uncontrollably. Completely spontaneous. I allowed myself to relax further. And of course, the spasming increased. I began feeling an energy that I associated to the desert flower vagina image. It felt so incredibly right. Then something unbelievable happened. It's honestly difficult to explain using conventional language...

But in a nutshell, my body form of consciousness and my mind/soul/spirit form of consciousness started to function as totally separate entities. While my body was trembling and flailing about my mind was 'talking' and imagining whatever it wanted. Nothing in particular, but I could tell it was functioning autonomously, similar to musical instruments playing completely different parts in a larger symphony. As this imminent physical experience went on, a great selflessness washed over me. I turned to my friend and in a mumbling voice said, "This is what de-traumatization looks like." I decided the theme of this trip would be about healing & reclaiming. I'd been working on somatic experiencing for the past 2 months and this felt like the climax of all of my hard work.

Once my body settled down, my friend said he was gonna go to his van and chop up some honeydew. He came back with this insane, monster platter of honeydew melon, sliced horizontally in a triangle, covered in honey with a pile of cashews at the base. I freaked out like a kid at the candy store when he brought it in. I ate a few pieces, but felt full quick (usually eat only half the amount if food I normally eat when on LSD). Moments later, I found honey all over the inside of my right arm. I proceeded to laugh 10x harder than was necessary (just kidding it was so necessary haha).

After washing off my arm, the heat and vibrations of the forest suggested to me that I de-clothe. Outside the tent ready to explore again, I stripped down all the way to sunbathe for a moment—standing up. I quickly realized I'd better shield the delicate areas. So, I threw my underwear back on. I ran through the forest, in the camping area, hopping from rock to rock. I felt as light as a cloud. My balance was insanely good too. My buddy grabbed my attention and said I should try the slackline. "That's such a hippy activity I never really got into," I thought. But in that moment all I could think was "Why the fuck not, I wanna have some fun!" We set it up and I remember getting up there and falling over and over again. Eventually I got bored of trying to walk it and began swinging on it. I'd sit on it, fall back, then cling to it with my leg and hands, swinging like a monkey the way I did when I was a little kid on the playground (I used to be one of the most skilled kids of playground equipment back then). Goofing around like this made me feel like a little kid again and like I was living the dream I'd always wanted to take back.

I felt so incredibly happy. But not in a "high" way... just fulfilled. Next thing I remember is I was far enough beyond the peak of the trip I could walk on the tilted sandstone slabs that made up the canyon cliff-faces in a safe and explorative way. To my surprise i found mini cactus plants that I didn't know existed this far north in Arizona. Me and my friend explored around. He dug out a cave and we kept throwing rocks off the cliff (classic stupid fun things you do). After that I went back up to the forest floor, lied flat, and gave the earth a full-body hug.

As I was coming down, the sun began to set. Me and my friend went to his van to make some dinner. Still, I kept splashing my face with water because of the heat. My hands and feet began to feel hot from all of the raw interaction with nature I'd had that day (barefoot and all). I slipped on socks and sandals to honor myself a little bit. A job well done in meeting nature raw and honest today. Indeed. But now it was time to balance it out. I chopped veggies for my friend and he sautéed the mushrooms, green beans, zucchini, and eggs into a masterpiece. I tasted every flavor and how they interacted with each other, like a Mozart symphony. A strange part about this trip is I felt so selfless it's as if I was free from the human mind and even the idea that I was tripping (as wild as it sounds). Everything was just consciousness. No physics and not even the idea of metaphysics. Only pure, raw being. This trip wasn't just another weak-ass, protected 'museum' dose' in an A/C controlled studio.

Rather, I embraced the forest, including the theme of trauma, as a general rule of nature and life. I saw this trip as a healing experience. Not pleasant nor dark, just simply a rigorous, focused process. It also felt like a more intense dose of rugged exploration and nomadic living. I could feel the beauty of nature and also the harshness of it; I was reminded of the necessity of modern medicine and basics like clothing, clean shelter, and electricity to sustain higher baselines of consciousness as I go about life.

The rawness element of this trip penetrated my soul fast and deep: the LSD accelerated a typical immersion in nature that would take 1-2 weeks to achieve (I've camped in Mongolia and Alaska before and usually immersion takes a while). I didn't sleep easy that night, but I did learn something. My feet, hands, and head were all inflamed. So even though my core body temperature was perfectly stable, the inflammation kept me up until the coolness of night balanced it out. It all made me realize I need to protect myself and honor my highly sensitive person (HSP) nature even further than before. This is something I'm going to get more serious about, and I do not care what people think.
 

Trip rankings

Depth was a 8/10
Spiritual rigor was definitely a 10/10
Preparedness was a 4/10 (heat and too little care to extremities)
Overall something like a 7/10

Definitely would recommend if you're adventurous (and a little crazy) like me.
 

Metaphysical themes encountered

Strange loops, infinite holarchy, infinite nonduality (every duality in every domain reconciled), radical and intelligent selflessness.

•••

Dear reader,

Have you tripped in nature before? If so how was it? What came up? 

Or, have you used psychs to confront trauma in a direct manner before? 

Edited October 8 by WonderSeeker

[- Adam -]

what an adventure you had, good job m8