I have not been living life and it's just being used.

[Behind20]

Like yesterday , someone gave me a fruit. Not a lot of fruits but A fruit. 

And then today I closed up my account because I wasn't satisfied with its name/username and thought that I'd delete it and create a new one (if possible) and they sent me with a two step verification code that says "groc" and some verification numbers. 

If even bank or transaction app like paypal do this , what is me/my life? They equate paypal with grocery. What was that? Today and I just lost even more. 

(PayPal account). I deleted that because I don't like the name. And I couldn't create a new account. 

And the other day I lost my gold . To my already lost gold. And ab to my already a self. (Back in 2022) But because "THEY" have an obsession of repetition so they'd wanna do that to infinity eventhough it doesn't have to be that. 

Just for the sake of repetition. And they'd do something that are scripted. Instead of living life truly. This had been the case for decades (no it aint decade. Maybe , four) . That's why I said I wanna get out of this shit. Before I started anew. Because I'm not going to play around with it. And their life are just that. Acting like everything is a game. Its foolish and wasted a lot of things. 

 

My life. Imagine if there's only 1% of people who takes lifes seriously. That's it. The others are shitty. And I can't or wasn't allowed to be serious or take my life seriously. And it involved older people and older generations and everyone. I'm not playing any of this shit. Imagine if my older generation (say 1920+) are those who take life seriously. And then those below them aren't and they died and I was,   left with these unserious people. My life is wasted and become 0 value. Obsolete. I wasn't allowed to live normally. Or to keep things or having posessions. I don't wanna live like this. They are 59-60s. I just want to be out of this. Imagine if my 1-7 year old 8-17 , 18-20 , -23 and they won't allow me to keep what was previously had by me. In other word just me keeping myself /being me they wouldn't allow that. 23-26. Basically my life had been killed 

Nothing whole. They literally would put something as a thing no matter what just for the sake of putting things . It was insanity . Because they are not living life. Maybe I'm not. But they are not too. Like putting an object into the house. 

 

If they think of this house as theirs they wouldnt do it. but they only do it because they dont have a sense of ownership. I guess. Because nobody cares. And a lot of stranger's things had been in this house or all over it. I'm wasting my time and my life. I want nothing of it. After my g died become even worser. They only thinking about inheriting before anyone even died. While youre still alive and living. But they already doing that. 

They took myself amd give me with something lighter or cheaper or lower. The difference is that those that are myself had myself in it and these now , basically they wanna kill you. These now are something totally new disconnected with the past. They wouldn't wanna be bringing the oast into now or having a strong root or even just myself or my life into the future. Because they killed it. Did anyone killed them or they past? Did anyone bothered them? That's the question. Because idgaf about them. Its like wanting to tear a one person individual apart and make it lot. Worser. Even worser. Because if you kill everyone on the earth like that what would happen? You would have a lot of non one person being. Everybody are scattered together. But I didn't know if they do that. Or if its only me . Who was being killed or teared. and I had no interest to start anything or recollect myself or even start where I left (27) because I wasn't in a different setting or place still. Its insane. 1 month leaving the house , it no longer had me. In it. Creepiness surrounds . And with taking my things inside the house and bring it wherever it is now or whatever it became even more haunted /creepy and what I am after are already not me. Its. . .    An evaporated version of me. I could have collected myself or bring back a thing or two but no one is giving me money back then. And up until today the same thing still happened. Or even worse. Lets say if at month 7 it can be fixed but didn't. It was month 18. And now what? I had a MASSIVE headache for about a week. 

Edited Friday at 03:53 AM by Behind20

[Behind20]

I wanted to do...  

[UnbornTao]

What?

What's going on with new accounts?

[Behind20]

To have an online presence, I am not safe. I said this even if my online presence are private. It can still be accessed by the government. And I am not safe. Or whoever is. Even though I had zero viewers or followers in my private account.