Where To Start Working On The Weaknesses?

[Dharam]

Hi , I am shy , during  my childhood , I was made believe that I am not good looking , so I started impressing people by being sweet and nice to them , seeking their approval , sacrificing my personal choice to make them happy , selling myself out ,trying to be best in everything I do . I feel hurt whenever people give me harsh opinion about me .I keep on thinking about them the whole day.I fear change in the job even though I am the best performer at my work. I tried to appear for job interviews but I fear of rejection .I have everything that takes to be successful still I think something is missing while going for interview so I try to be more perfect and I  procrastinate .Also I feel stuck in one company because I don't want manager to be unhappy about it . I am shy , I blush sometimes I feel that I am the centre point in the crowd . I can't talk openly in my relationship . But the most important thing that I need the help with facing job interview without any fear of rejection .

Edited May 13, 2017 by Dharam

[Tony19]

You've listed alot of things that all seem to have the same root: low self esteem. I've been dealing with low-self esteem as well and I've been meditating for a few months and it has really helped, so you could do that. What I do is vipassana meditation based on Shinzen young's book. I would focus on any emotion (fear, anxiety, embarrassment, depression) and try to stay mindful of the fact that it is just a physical sensation instead taking it seriously. The key is not to resist the feelings, but accept it, and eventually it will lose its power over you. And in general, just be aware of it when you are trying to please others, or procrastinating on something stressful.  Allow yourself to do that but stay aware.

[Dharam]

Tony thanks a lot  and yes I agree that meditation helps a lot I have experienced mindfulness helping but still it sometimes seems to be coming back all over again but due to the awareness it takes time to come back to the original state 

[Visitor]

@Dharam I do not think there is a magic pill for this one. Well not a fast acting one at least.

One hundred people may apply for the same job, 3-10 may get an interview, only 1 gets the job. If you can get to the interview they already like what you have to offer. Get a list of most likely questions asked at a job interview from the Internet. Then find out what gets you to that interview (resume, etc).

Here are a few thoughts for you to think about:

1. Nobody is perfect, so forget about trying to get there. And if you did, then you would be all alone.
2. The goal is to build up enough self-esteem to realize that you don't need it. Yet again, you may see this clearly and just let go of it now.
3. Angels fly because they take things lightly.
4. Keep it simple.

Good Luck                                                     (luck = preparation meeting opportunity).

[Guest username]

For the job interview: Learn to detach yourself from outcome.  Research "freedom from outcome" and "outcome independence". Have an abundance mentality; if you are always working on your skills, there will be plenty of opportunities. Being afraid of rejection will not help you, so remember that. Fear is not serving you.

I also think you'd benefit from the following:

 

 

[Dharam]

Thanks a lot people for showing your kindness.