Help - Eye Gaze and Self-Inquiry

[The Renaissance Man]

Please help if you have experience in self-inquiry and the ability to just be and laser-focus on the actuality, the essence of consciousness.

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I learned about the difference between the experience of self-awareness vs being the awareness. That's different. The first is still a perception of the sensation of being self-aware, while the second is actually in tune with the Witness, the perceiver itself. Anyway...

I noticed that to laser-focus on being, my most natural way is to basically look inward. To strongly de-focus my eyes to the point where it feels like I'm just being or "seeing" consciousness itself directly. If I don't do this, I continuously get lost into perceptions, and not being itself.

Problem: this strains the fuck out of my eyes. After some minutes of this practice, even after stopping, my eyes automatically want to focus inward for hours. Only after a night of sleep this goes away. So until I sleep after this practice, focusing on stuff is tiring, and looking anywhere is disorienting, leaving even a slight sense of nausea for the entire day.

Questions, help needed:

• Do you also deal with focus muscle strain afterwards?
• I haven't learned this internal gaze thing from anyone, but apparently it's not that uncommon. Is this the case for you? Am I onto something?

Edited February 22 by The Renaissance Man

[The Renaissance Man]

I'd now re-title the post as "eye strain when trying to focus on Being", maybe this resonates with some of yall's experiences

[Aaron p]

You use your eyes to see...try not. Actually, don't.

[The Renaissance Man]

@Aaron p It's more like directing my attention. I'm not trying to "see" being, but in trying to be it, I find it easier if I de-focus. It actually prevents me to see stuff if I do this.

[Aaron p]

Just remember that it's impossible not to be. If you're struggling to find that which you should place your attention on during meditation, just remember that in actuality there is only one thing in existence. As such it is only possible to meditate on -it-. And anything that is distracting you from it, is also it. This should invoke the most awesome sense of relaxation as it is literally the easiest thing in existence. Like if I asked you to exist, how would you do it. What methods would you employ to continue existing? Complicated ones? Difficult ones?

This of course does not subtract from the real journey of God realisation for example or progress and realizing the no self. But it's become apparent to me that meditation is better used for enjoyment and relaxation and connection where God realisation is a bit of a different topic entirely

Edited February 24 by Aaron p