Enmity, Society and Invisible shackles

[Applegarden8]

You are craving your own path. You are looking for solutions in your lifestyle to have more energy and capability for what you want to do. You feel more agitated wasting time with people who don't resonate with you, but you can't tell them why. You feel guilty about the past coping strategies and addictions you have today and try to change them. And then there are people who will exploit you. This post is about them.

If you are going in a direction that is different from most people, meaning you don't value things like having the best paid job or the best carreer, having a lot or things or even having children or having a spouse or as extreme as seemingly doing nothing.

Your activity on your life purpose have drawbacks and you need some extra time to cope, contemplate, rest or to sit for a long time with a pen and paper. You will also notice that grown adults act like children in their personal life and it will affect you, and project whatever they will project to you. They have all the possibilities to reform just like you are doing. Very quickly they will not underestand you and subject you to bullying. And that can be about anything. The food you eat, "what are you doing", you are stupid, what are you doing with your life, I don't underestand you, you should have done this or be like this, you should be ashamed of yourself, you are not a real man, you are harming people with your actions, you should just quit etc.,  you won't be able to do this so why try.

So, how to deal with this? There is not a fast an easy solution to this problem. But there is a solution.

Surrounding yourself with like minded people, it can also become a trap, but once in a while a fresh take is very good. Becoming more health oriented and minimalistic to see that your positive beliefs about life applied provide the results you are looking for and it's a solution to low self esteem.

Meditation and spirituality really taught me a lot. I trust myself like never before and it helps not to feel lonely etc.

Reaction to an insult like "you are stupid" or "what are you doing" which triggers fear of missing out and leaves you thinking that they have it better than you that's why they are criticizing you, this is not true, this is just not true. If they really had it better they would be ignoring you. They have an insecurity that after they went after society told them to do, they achieved that and still are insecure. The truth is that in life different kind of people exist who are hardwired for different things, therefore it is only normal that somebody lives a very minimalistic and simple life, somebody doesn't want to have children or somebody wants to be a high achiever etc. Why do you need to feel guilty about how you really feel? Spend time and refine, extract, center those feelings and act on them, you will find out that you are going to be more happy and relaxed once you find out some of the long term desires you have.

"You are stupid or dumb or idiot or incompotent or not yet fully grown or not a real patriot, man, woman, professional or something, something"

Why can't I be stupid? Just read your contries constitution and tell me where you have to not be stupid in there. Meanwhile you will find out that their abuse is not constitutional and you are fine as you are. You have to be a bit stupid to try something new, do something without expecting an outcome, you have to be stupid to fail, or you are bound to be "smart" and project your anger and guilt and live like your mother or father figure told you for the rest of your life and hate it and the life in the process. Why they are projecting their anger because they are diseased with it. They don't know what to so with it so they vomit it on to you uncontrollably. So if you are reflecting, you are over these people, just close the gap and complete your efforts so that in few years you will laugh at those criticisms, because you see because they uttered this projection, they are uninformed about their own cognition and they really don't know better.

"You should be like this, you should do like this" in your private life. Now if a person who constantly abuses you, projects their anger to you... just stop and think about this. A person who is angry at you and saying that you should change for his demand. Is this person interested in your well being? If this person is saying the same thing over again, has he internalized the problem he is expressing? Why he does not like, just because he doesn't like or he is envious or insecure? If he is uncontrollably mad when he just thinks about you, is this person competent at telling you what to do with your life? Can you look at him and tell what is a good thing about his life? Is he peaceful? Is he fit is he smart is he self reflective? Does he have the qualities you want? Do you think he thinks and applies a larger vision for people? Can this person really help you in the state he is? If he is screaming at you passively aggressively or directly; has he spent time thinking about a model and applying it to make the society better? Does he look beaten and given up at life? Does he have an ideology he is very invested in and all of his values come trough that ideology? Can he entertain other ideologies and hold contradicting ideas? I am certain, the answer is no. But if you have a greater desire you are following, you have done it more than them. You are just a little confused that you have to listen and accept these people. Just internalize these questions instead and ask the most meaningful ones to you to yourself when you receive any kind of life advice which is forced on you or life advice in general. You don't even need to say anything most of the time. You don't need a revenge. You need to work on our life purpose and the critical points to make sure to reduce the risk of them harming you. Generally speaking you can and should ignore them. Evaluate for yourself and see. They are not capable of giving a good life advice for you. They can't even be compassionate. They are too insecure about their life. I have seen so many inherently dysfunctional and abusive adult relationships where people lie, virtue signal to each other, are constantly angry at each other, manipulate and barter for some "intimacy" for their whole life. And these people will give you "quality" advice?

The more I live the more I think that life experience is not just the time spent on this earth but a combination of refinement of your cognition, emotional flexibility, clarity of vision in a mix with time spend on this earth. Some people don't need to get into decades of abusive relationship or addiction to underestand that it's bad for them, however it more nuanced, but please evaluate what to take from this.

Edited March 23 by Applegarden8