Truth Addict

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Everything posted by Truth Addict

  1. @Serotoninluv Why do you remove your posts? @DrewNows I haven't met anyone at all who isn't straight, not even online. I don't think they're many anyway. @Key Elements I can't answer the question because I don't know how I would react. Maybe if he can not sound so creepy as I was programmed to perceive. But anyway, it's highly unlikely to happen in my lifetime, because it's highly unlikely that I can move outside of where I live now, but who knows? @pluto Yes, that includes my inability to understand other genders.
  2. I meant actual toxicity, not the reactional type. Don't be silly with your obvious objection. I understand where you are because I've been there. You can't stay in no-self forever. At some point, you gotta have a mind/agenda/ego. The only question is how developed/selfless is it? It's not wise to chase a permanent no-self state unless you're elderly. But now you still have 50 years of ego development. I don't want to waste those years isolated. Or who knows? Maybe you've got all of your life/survival figured out and I'm the deluded one here, but let me experience some delusion, I still have lots of ways to go. The good news is that I barely suffer.
  3. I always used to be told that I look younger than I actually am. That was two or three years ago. Earlier this day, as I was chatting with another colleague, he thought I was a senior, so he wasn't sure how to talk to me lol. I'm only one year older than him, and he thought I'm 30 years old or something. Wisdom shines in the face, I can look at someone and know how much wisdom they have. @DrewNows? There's your proof for my superiority Toxicity can only be seen at stage tier two, because tier two can see health/integration/systems.
  4. @DrewNows Look buddy, I know it's just my perspective. But they're devils in MY perspective. I don't want to see them otherwise, because they are actual devils. My perspective is true, and you don't have to believe in it. Stop telling me to stop judging because I won't. I know that illness is a part of being. Yet, I work to stop it from spreading. The same thing applies here, I am the doctor here, and they are the cancer. I can see that because I have wisdom, and they don't. Again, you don't have to believe me, just let me have my perspective. They lack my scalpel excising their malignancy.
  5. Because you don't count in their league. They don't judge your grades. The no-devils no-game is also happening in your mind after all. After a certain point, you will become able to see devilry without being a devil. Devils are just toxic, it can't get more obvious. I already answered it: ? They lack awareness, compassion, wisdom, and they're extremely selfish while they're supposed to be the most selfless people. They are destructive cancers while they're supposed to stop cancer. They're acutely ill while they're supposed to be the healers. What more toxicity/devilry are you looking for? If you're being passive aggressive with these two questions, then the answer is that you are stuck at stage Green. By the way, the people I'm talking about are passive aggressive by default without them even noticing or caring. They talk a lot of shit they don't mean.
  6. @Emerald Thank you so much ? I'll try to figure out what I am. @Bill W Maybe.
  7. So, it's an epidemic. I can open up to anyone, especially to strangers, because I know they would judge me as humble and carefree. But I'm very careful with my medical colleagues because they're devils, they're so judgemental, especially of each other. Rank is a very important factor in their system, if my rank is low, then I don't have a voice, so I basically can't be a leader amongst them, and I dislike their leadership. I don't specifically like being a leader, but I can fill that position very well. They're the worst leaders in my opinion, they're basically like Trump. Perhaps I wasn't good at describing the situation. I have friends from medical school, one of them is my best, and he's at stage Yellow. I used to be friends with multiple groups, but I had to act inauthentically in order to fit. At some point, I couldn't take it anymore, so I became fully authentic and cut off most of my friendships. Not a single one of them is interested in personal-development, nor consciousness, or anything like that. They're stuck between stage Blue and Orange. You can find some Green among them, but I can't tolerate that as well. They're way up in their heads. The average guy in medical school talks about studying 90% of the time. Even my best friend talks a lot about studying, but then he balances it with philosophy and politics. They're very serious people. You probably have noticed that I share some of their seriousness. I can't live up to that anymore. That's not a healthy way of going about life. I hate them more than I hate Peter Ralston. At least Ralston has some wisdom. Those people are the opposite of wisdom, ironically, as they should be the wisest people of all. Medicine is all about wisdom. They don't have any, they're just robots.
  8. Correct. I was afraid for my self-image. The professor was so inconsiderate of it, and so he embarrassed me in front of my colleagues. I know I shouldn't care for other people's opinions, but I'm not there yet, not even close. That's why I'm journaling. Here, they rarely talk about anything outside of studying. They're complete nerds. They are addicted to studying, even on holidays they study, even on vacations, even in the summer. They don't practice as much. They're just bibliophiles, and they don't read anything that isn't related to medicine. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, and surely there are cool people as well, but the majority are nerds. I try to connect with them on a personal level, but all they care about is my grades and how much I study. Again, this is the case here. I don't know about your country or even about another medical school in my country. I wonder if your friends don't talk about studying before or after playing.
  9. I feel much better now. I apologise @tsuki @mandyjw. You are nice and beautiful people. I love you ❤️
  10. Yeah, so as I returned to college, I started interacting with college students. They're the worst ever. Medical students are the most ignorant and neurotic people you'll ever meet. I'm quite sure most doctors are so. Being a good student requires being highly neurotic, obsessive, and closed-minded, at least where I live. I WAS like that my whole life until three years ago i.e. until I started my self-development work. I was a complete nerd, the most ignorant guy in the whole world. I was even more ignorant 5 years ago. It's quite shocking how many layers do ignorance have, and it's quite impressive how much I've improved. I know I have a lot more to learn, but whatever. Anyway, so those nerds... They're the most irritating people ever. Everything they say is toxic and neurotic, they have an extremely offensive attitude, think of mine and multiply it by a thousand. They're extremely selfish and serious. The only thing they care about is high grades, which in their minds translates as high money. The irony is that people who are responsible for health are the most unhealthy. Lungs doctors smoke, what the fucking smoking hell?! That's just one example, the rest is so on, if not worse. Today I was discussing my graduation project with the psychiatry professor, he said that I am being obsessive! What the fuck? So it's just like that? You're automatically diagnosing me, and based on what? Are you done yet Mr. Projections? I know that I still am obsessive, but thank you for saying it out loud in front of my colleagues. You're just the worst! The worst thing about ignorance is that you can't respond to it without being ignorant. It's really toxic to be around those people. They're convinced that they are the best people in the world. I'm telling you, they're the worst. You don't want to be around them.
  11. Thanks for stating the absolute truth so eloquently! I've been looking for years man. Leave me fucking journal alone.
  12. @mandyjw I don't want to mess our friendship. I'm out of control right now.
  13. @zeroISinfinity You don't know shit, you're just projecting, and you're going to the 'Ignored Users' list.
  14. Another ignorant and deluded fuck projects and tries to teach me. Who's next?
  15. I really started hating this place. Every ignorant fuck thinks they're enlightened masters and then they come and make projections and claims about me. Moreover, due to their deep ignorance, they provide their unsolicited 'advice' mostly in a projection form. My life is amazing, why am I wasting it on interacting with ignorant people?! I'm not sure about leaving, but I'm sure that this place is no longer a match for me. Once you've become a human, a chimp will not be able to understand you. Now I truly understand this quote: "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." I don't usually get triggered, but I'm really angry right now. I think I need to take a break.
  16. With thought, everything is possible
  17. I know that I don't know. Bullshitting oneself is to think that you know.
  18. I already have it. Why are you triggered?
  19. @Raptorsin7 It does not have to be 5 hours exactly, and it does not have to be a meditation practice. If you can practice any activity continuously for prolonged duration, that'll do it. The point is to learn how to detach from thinking about other activities while you are doing one activity. You need to lose yourself in the activity, and that's basically the flow state that you're looking for. If you practice for long enough, it'll become easier for you to enter the vortex in no time. Of course, it's just my opinion.
  20. Your enlightened friends are pointing you to the now. They're telling you to stop chasing enlightenment, because it's already the case.
  21. Go live among poor people, and I mean really, really poor people. Maybe you will be able to take it, maybe not.
  22. @TrynaBeTurquoise There's no such thing as 'concept awareness' and 'actual/real awareness'. There's no such thing as a distinction to begin with. Try pointing down the concept. You can't. Try pointing down awareness. You can't. I call ideology from the without, not from the within. Non-duality eventually undermines itself, or it becomes an ideology. No offence, but your mind (which is a metaphor) seems to be struggling to find a land to stand on, while there aren't any.