peanutspathtotruth

Was eye balling IFS for a long time, you made me pull the trigger, just got Self-Therapy and the Work book on kindle. Gonna start today. Thank you for the recommendation! I always thought the only book for this is the one by Dr Schwartz. How do you recommend going about this? Reading the one, then working with the other? Or simultaneously?

@Rinne I'm sorry for the mostly bullshit/self-serving/utterly uninformed replies you get here. I'm normally not that harsh but I have dealt with this beast for a long time and after experimenting and observing a lot, I'd say that I understand it quite well. Don't get lost in that sea of mere opinions without ground. First of all: it's an addiction. You don't treat an addiction like "well maybe it's your judgment, maybe just don't do it that often" etc. This is all bullshit - you need to get away from that habit and allow your brain to unwire all these strong neurological patterns as quickly as possible. "Just stop" really is the most direct and unpleasant way. This takes a lot of time and it's fucking hard, that's just the nature of an addiction - and this addiction, not only to porn but to orgasm, is a fucking strong one. So there are multiple things required for you stopping: You need to want to stop. You need to see, by consciously engaging in the addiction, that it is fucking up your brain. Do you see the lethargy, the fucked up hormone system, the distorted view of yourself and women and all the other effects? They are undeniable, every addict has these to some degree. People who deny that just aren't honest, serve an agenda of not wanting to stop, are ignorant, deluding themselves, or they truly have no contrasting experience of being sober of this addiction. If you doubt it, stop the addiction and see for yourself. So when you clearly see how you're holding yourself in this trap, at some point there is a true will that just wants to stop. Cultivate that, without it you're not gonna make it. This might be the most important step. Secondly, and I know people will object, look into semen retention, research it and let it inform you. You can start with Mantak Chia's "Tao Yoga of Love". All these people here defending masturbation come from a different perspective, and I respect that. But semen retention truly is not only an advanced spiritual practice but what I think is much more natural than most want to believe. It's radical and no one likes to stop ejaculating and take this as the way to live life. The reason is, because it feels good, that's it. All else is justification strategy. If you're not even giving this a serious try for a few months at least, you're selling yourself short of what you can be. Prana / Shakti / Life energy is real. It's so fucking real. And it is lost through ejaculating, that is absolutely clear when you dare to be conscious and honest enough. And if you cultivate this energy, if you transmute it, circulate it, use it - this is the energetical side of enlightenment work. Your meditations will transform radically, your daily energy and creativity will go through the roof, your kundalini energy might tickle your spine or even awaken. This is the energy we want on this path. It's a conductor of consciousness, it is grace, love manifested. Be sure to understand, if you're open to this possibility and if you want that, that it takes time and effort. It's sooo hard. But it's worth the hard times manifold. You gotta learn how to work with your energy. You gotta learn how to deal with the latent addiction and its urges. It is all learned behavior and you have the power to unwrite it. If you want any support and more information, hit me up whenever you like. I made it 100+ days recently and am currently at about 5 weeks with more determination than ever, and I've never felt better. Again, it is unmistakably clear that Shakti is growing, and it's changing my whole spiritual endeavor. I wish you the strength to experience this yourself. All the best to you ♥️

Just like Adyashanti. See here is the problem, maybe you are, but would you say it like that then? Would you so naively ask why Leo is not enlightened after 7 years? I doubt you understand the full picture. No-self realization? Sure. Anything else though? Why are you still here then? Just being healthily skeptical. Maybe you're legit, I don't know.

That's unfortunately not how it works But getting off topic here, thank you for sharing your perspective ??

No interest in healthy nutrition? It's hard to live healthy only from microwavable food. Takes like 15 minutes to make an amazing veggie dish, or even snacking it raw, just saying

In the manner I meant it, the difference would be the following: in inquiry, you start with whatever is present in your experience, and you cultivate a love and curiosity for its nature. Without force, you inquire, you allow yourself to dive deep into whatever feeling or sensation seems to be primary (as in: in the foreground, has the most pull on your awareness). So you really investigate, with a slight effort of concentration, but no manipulation of your experience, into the core of what is. Done long enough, it will unfold and reveal its nature, which IS ultimately the ultimate. So it's just another angle from which to arrive here, and the practice naturally turns into pure being. Starting with just being aware, you don't do anything. You just are, and you don't even slightly move your awareness here or there. It's possible that this might lead you to a natural curiosity about the above nature: "hmm why does my awareness seem to avoid this painful feeling all the time? What IS it"? Or self inquiry is naturally occurring. The key is non-manipulation even in inquiry. Just a focused observation. In this manner, you can allow the meditation to organically morph between just being and inquiry. And/or you set a specific time for each of these phases. I like the organic approach more, because it feels more naturally unfolding. I do both in the same session because I can't sit too long, but recently I have been trying to sit as much as possible. Energetically and in regards to clarity, it's just more appropriate for meditation. Lying down is fine, but very prone to haziness.

I just find it fascinating how differently habits can develop. I haven't used a microwave in years, rarely in my whole life, and certainly almost never microwaved any plastic. Why are you so dependent on that, other than habitualness? Because even for financial reasons, you can cook a lot more for cheaper. I'm curious

@fopylo I unfortunately find Deida too vague on that topic, too. Check out Mantak Chia, he has very thorough instructions on non-ejaculatory orgasm (NEO). You can also Google it, reddit has some great resources in the semen retention sub.

@Emir Excellent point!!

@Raptorsin7 You seem to want Truth, and I would say that in itself is great. Wherever your desire comes from on the psychological plane - that will have to be surrendered at some point anyway, so don't worry too much about that. When it comes to meditation, you know it's just the nature of the mind to go extra crazy when you just sit there in silence. It takes time. Just sit, don't expect anything, but also don't let go of the deep love you have for wanting truth to come through clearly, to see itself through you (yes of course it's you anyway, if that's true you'll see it anyway). That's it. One thing I highly recommend comes from Almaas, it's his version of the practice of Inquiry. Let's say you have a headache and that distracts you. In meditation, you most likely pull your awareness away from that headache. Sometimes, we ignore specific painful feelings, and this takes a lot of energy. So in inquiry, you just penetrate whatever feeling is distracting you deeply - you allow it, and you lovingly invite it to be there, to unfold itself, to show itself. Done with enough focus, you will understand why you ran away from said distraction, and your mind will calm, it will be resolved. I often have to allow this form of inquiry before I can just rest in pure awareness. It's like there is an urgent issue and you ignore it saying "I just wanna chill man". No, look at the issue first (but don't DO anything about it), let it resolve as far as it wants, and then drop it again. This is real shadow work, and it's necessary.

What @Gesundheit2 said - sitting as long as you can in meditation really is the most effective way, at least it has been for me in similar situations. Also, if you don't already, I recommend semen retention. It will build up energy for sure, using the appropriate techniques and understanding, this can be transmuted and transformed into action.

Yep, that's what I intuit about this as well. It's like when you're really really honest and sensitive enough, you can feel which thought expresses the truth more or less accurately. So this process actually helps steer the internal belief-systems into a most coherent, truthful structure - yes, even though any belief system needs to be seen for what it is: not the truth itself.

@Waken Thank you! It's important to bring the absolute back into the relative, and one important part of that is to understand how to use thought, how to interpret thought, which you laid out quite beautifully. I'm not really good at that, but I once did an exercise in which one is to think and speak a thought that resonates with you the deepest, 2 hours, one thought every minute - and I quickly felt how powerful this is. So thank you very much, you reminded me to work on that Reducing this back to "you don't really think, there is no thinker" etc is missing the point here - it's the metaphysical backbone, but we still can choose to bathe in the perfection that we are by utilizing what we have in this relative form-world. ??

He is my go to as well, I have read his ebook and am currently reading his new one "Beyond Functional Training". Good stuff!

Haven't watched the video yet, but this is great stuff. 1. Pursuing Absolute Truth - Meditation, Contemplation, Inquiry - Psychedelics, Breathwork and other techniques - Surrendering to God in all I do 2. Healing & Embodiment - Shadow work - Journaling - Health (clean nutrition, exceptional fitness) - Relationships, Sexuality 3. Pursuing Relative Truth - Reading A LOT - Contemplating, Synthesizing - Understanding and questioning sense-making blind spots, self deception mechanism etc. - Understanding understanding itself - Holistic understanding of the world and finding ways to collectively refine that understanding 4. Expression - Life purpose (to be specified) - Creativity (music, dance, writing) - Teaching, coaching, guiding 5. Survival - Career & financial independence

I always go through phases and cycles with this, and I think it is a feature of the nature of this work: at times I just want to absorb wisdom and knowledge all the time. At other times, reading anything spiritual, I put down the book immediately because I know the only thing to do is to sit down, to be, to contemplate, to actually do the work. Reading would be mere distraction at this point. If experience pulls you inside its fullness and wants you to bathe in it, I say listen to this intuition and dive right in.

@khalifa Hey I remember your posts from 2 years ago, it's good to hear from you again. I'm really sorry this is still so painful for you, and I genuinely think it's good that you are sharing all this with us. You probably went too far too quickly, and you seem to understand this - and there's nothing to feel bad or guilty about, it is what it is. A lot of growth at once is fucking heavy. In my humble opinion, you gotta bite the bullet and finish what you started. There is no going back, the pandoras box has been opened. What this means, I think, is that you have to work with this with a lot of commitment and intensity. This seems to be the only way. Nahm said therapy, I think that's a great idea. But moreover, I'd say you need energetics work. Physical yoga, maybe soft Kriya yoga to circulate your energy, and a lot of do-nothing meditation + inquiry. I feel like you gotta take all your courage together and give it your all, as in facing all the fear and let go of everything by doing the practices. Do you take ashwaghanda or something else to ease your system? As for meditation, this is spot on: It's gonna be tough. Maybe it's gonna be tough for a long time. Probably it will. But this is the way, and it is a great opportunity for you to allow yourself to trust Truth, to let it encompass you fully via your process of purification and healing. This is the divine helping you, trust it ?? you're always safe, always held. Regarding your question, I don't think following the desire to bend everything after your will is the healthiest thread to follow, depending on where your desires come from. What helps me is to talk to myself about all that I worry about, desire, fear, love and examine all that comes up. Be 100% honest. This can quickly align your whole thinking towards what the deepest part in you wants. When you're honest and sensible, you will feel the authenticity and truthfulness of the thoughts coming up. You got this ♥️

That's what I thought to be the case as well, I also found him to be interrupting Curt at points when he felt it would digress too much from what was being relevant, also taking into account how jumpy they were with topics (due to Curt's interview style, which I like a lot, and Leo's way of necessarily stringing important big topics together)

Of course, everything is ? I'm saying in most people's view it obviously is the case that these ideas are challenging and directly confronting their metaphysics, which is observable in their way of reacting towards them. Considering this, Curt's reactions seem rather un-defended, honest and curious.

Firstly, I said and meant that his ideas are confrontative - clearly so - just as most of his way of explaining, which not at all needs to carry a negative connotation. It doesn't to me at least. Secondly, who said authentic can not be confrontative at the same time? Concretely the opposite, in this example of Leo, this just highlights his authenticity.

I was actually very impressed by how open minded he was. Leo's ideas and his conviction are highly confrontative, especially if one does not have an experiential framework to compare it with. Curt had no chance to check for himself during the interview and still was able to juggle with ideas, present criticism, doubts, further questions etc. A really humble guy, who, if he commits to do the work required, would probably get deep insights rather quickly. All this was still necessarily conceptual, which has been called out by both multiple times, so regarding his position in this respect, he was rather transparent as to what his mind had problems with, which is laudable.

@erik8lrl Solid advice, will keep in mind!

@Raptorsin7 Thank you for your openness about this, interesting stuff. I can relate in some ways. I too have felt sexually satisfied by pure energy, mostly on DMT. Completely non-physical, utter satisfaction, as if coming from pure divine feminine energy. What it taught me: joy is nothing to hide from. It's what we're here to feel, and there is no need to bury it in shame. Beautiful stuff. Thank you ?? ♥️

@Raptorsin7 Thank you so much for sharing! ?? Very fascinating how your path seems to unfold. I see some parallels to what I've been experiencing in the past years. So good to realize how we're all on this beautiful road together. A good friend of mine permanently cured his life long sinus issue on his first ever mushroom trip which was like 5 years ago. It's just gone. Even though it might not be completely gone for you, I think these experiences are still highly beneficial and purifying. Truly, this is medicine! I can relate to the nausea and headaches and how feeling deeply into them (although at times utterly difficult), they can melt away. This is what I find mirrored in meditation, too - sometimes I'm a bit lost in thoughts, just to realize that the reason for that is some kind of knot in the head or a feeling of unease. But it's like energetically, something tries to stir awareness away from this point of intense energy (blockage). So sometimes it's not that easy to actually notice what/where that feeling is. But I find that all the thoughts, all the tensions in the body, they are stemming from this one feeling or blockage - and going straight into the core of that feeling is instantly alleviating the second order effects of it, even though the feeling itself intensifies upon close observation. It can take a lot of time to unravel, but it's a gateway to the roots of suffering. This is how pain is a direct path to truth. Regarding the sexual repression, have you tried intense, sensual, self-loving masturbation during a trip? (I personally find porn contra-productive here tbh, so only you, only your body, only the pure feeling of sexual energy and sensuality). It helped me a lot, really transformed this repression into self love. Any other insights that healed this part for you?

I'm curious to hear more about this. These are blockages/patterns I'm working on, too, and there's a lot of healing that wants to take place. How have you found out about these "issues" as in how did you experience the insights into them? And how has your healing/loving process been so far?