peanutspathtotruth

I agree, but I would also say this is what he would realize during this journey of becoming authentic anyway. I like all the answers here saying that he should detach from needing her approval, and that is solid advice. But it also carries the message that him wanting to be a strong man is only due do his people pleasing and neediness dynamic, and I tend to think this is only part of it. I think he truly wants to change, and you're right to say this change includes the "independence" from others. But I would argue that he can do both at the same time, and that in actuality, it's the same movement when he really does the work. I for sure can say that hearing how I should be detached from others' opinions and affection doesn't do a thing. I had to come to the realization and the subsequent purification work myself, through first trying to be the best me - even if that subconsciously included the idea that I would be liked more that way by others.

Ya, Germany unfortunately has this since 2019. But let's see what we can do here Amazing!!

Uff finally, I'm so curious now! Will it be a full episode?

This is such a deep, multifaceted question. There are many layers one could go into here, let's explore a few: Suffering feels like a feedback system for showing us how deeply we are entrenched in the belief of separation / in the forgetfulness of our absolute oneness / in the identification with form That every perspective God takes, aka every Self in the world of Form, is bound to suffer is a very human notion - we develop egos and suffer for it, so we think it's inherent to reality. I don't know, and probably nobody does, but why should evolution keep on suffering? I've researched the law of one (Ra material) a tiny bit, and this one idea struck me as interesting: that only in this current phase of evolution, we as Beings have an ego-self and suffer for it, precisely because God wants to give itself the choice between Love or Darkness - because all is equally beautiful, equally itself, equally viable to experience if God so chooses. From what Ra has said , after this very short period in evolution, we will transcend into higher beings, and we become more and more conscious and more and more purified. And thus, if this is only slightly true, it might mean that suffering will fade out the more transparent God's perspectives become to embodying Love. To dive deep into suffering that is present is often an extremely insightful, albeit inherently unpleasant, experience to me. Just now I meditated for an hour, and for whatever reason something in me contracted and resisted heavily, creating a knot in my head and tensing up my head and face. The first part of it, I tried to relax, to let it go, to sort it out, to solve it. Only when I allowed myself to bathe in the pain and the suffering and allow it to be there, did my mind calm down. Pain didn't go away, but my consciousness deepened and I gained clarity. In this way, pain can be there, but suffering fades.

Yeah, this one's pretty good!

@Solvinden Hey friend. Your courage and openness to accept this is beautiful and already an act of strength. See that it's not only that you might need to cultivate strength, but that you're actually already super strong, but hiding it, blocking it, suppressing it. That being said, I'm in the same boat, many are. Over the last 1-2 years I've grown a lot in this regard, but I'm still learning every day. Here are some unstructured notes about the advice I would give my old self, and now you, to be a strong, authentic, focused man. Read "The Way of the Superior Man". Then read it again and again, and really implement what he's pointing to. This is a meta source which could be spread out into dozens of further advice points, some of which I will repeat below for the sake of their importance. If you like this book, seek out more reading material, it helps tremendously, even though that alone is of course not enough. Be connected to the Truth of reality, whatever it takes. True strength is inherent in your true Self, but if you're only in ego-consciousness all the time, it's hard to access that strength. So commit yourself to become as conscious as possible. Seek out reality/God. This means meditation, inquiry, energy work, and maybe psychedelics if you think that is a possibility for you. Know what you want. Do you want Truth? Be sure about that. What else do you want? Journal about this, inquire into your actual desires in your life. Focus on that, be absolutely committed. Cultivate physical health (clean and rich nutrition (!), exercise - it's AMAZING that you're doing so much yoga daily, it's a goal of mine; but also incorporate strength training as you yourself suggested (this makes a huge difference), and maybe some cardio) Cultivate mental health (read about psychology, do self development and therapy work, do consciousness work as described above) - basically, you want to understand what is blocking your authentic expression of who you are: a strong, beautiful, lovely expression of the most ineffable mystery that could ever be imagined. Own that, explore that, unveil that! Get out of your comfort zone. Take cold showers, be disciplined about your life, try new things, get yourself into socially challenging situations. Do specific psychological and spiritual work on these topics: Sexuality, intimacy, masculinity, neediness, life purpose Practice love: this gets much more powerful the more conscious you are and the more purified your psyche is, but you can start right now. Love yourself fully, find out what that means, spread that love to everyone and everything around you, bathe in it. Semen retention. This is one of THE most impactful catalysts for me to untangle my issues around my masculinity and bring it to the fore. It's fucking powerful. I highly recommend giving it a try, it doesn't have to be forever. There are things you're already doing that are amazing: namely, your creative expression and doing yoga, and wanting to work on this topic. Notice that this is a twofold path: On the one hand, the overall path of self-actualization, encompassing both spiritual and psychological growth, IS what is uncovering your strength. On the other hand, there are specific things you can do to unveil and cultivate that strength and authenticity. They go hand in hand. If you want any specific suggestions for the points I've mentioned, let me know.

That was the first thing I thought about when getting into the book. I have quite a bit of psychedelic experience under my belt now and especially last year there were some sessions... Felt like 20 years of therapy in 8 hours. I saw so many hurt aspects of me coming out of their cages and I just showered them with cosmic love, understanding and curiosity. This truly changed my life multiple times. And I haven't tripped in quite a while, so my plan is: working through both books -> acid session.

Nope, as far as I remember, this is all exactly as it has been since the last update.

Too bad, I was just scanning the podcast catalogue, and many episodes sound extremely interesting. I'll still check it out I think, but if you have further experience, please share

I'm learning Java in university and studying it on my own on the side. What I did is just searching for the very best sources for learning Java. Across multiple subreddits, posts and other forums, I always stumbled upon the MOOC from the University of Helsinki, as well as some other courses to follow up on that. So that's what I'm doing - I recommend you do the same for C# or whatever language you're gonna use most. Because there are TONS of tutorials and courses out there, and they vary greatly regarding quality. Find the absolute best ones and dive deep

@blessedlion1993 Yes I think we mostly agree on this. I see where you're coming from with your notion of "tough love". Sometimes, it's actually really helpful - that's why I like Leo's teaching style, although it's not always what I need. As you said, it's just important not to take it too literally or to heart, and drop it if it doesn't work any longer. Thanks for the exchange! Maybe, it may help someone scanning this thread and trying to understand different perspectives!

Many good points were made here. I personally would say it's not that easy to pinpoint right off the bat. This dynamic can have manifold sources and different structures in place which might be connected with other issues. I, and I think many humans in general, have had this dynamic play out, I think it's quite a classic of our beloved psyche Direct, experiential inquiry into all feelings and thoughts associated with that issue, combined with theoretical understanding of how the mind works, might be the best you could do on your own. At some point, consider getting a therapist to help you if the root of it all seems unreachable, hidden too deep in your unconscious.

Amazing! That's a healthy and mature way to take this in, I'm glad I could help And I think you're right, I agree. I've read the book and researched thoroughly so my rational mind had no excuse left I actually think these two perspectives can be synthesized - because addiction is a cyclic form of reinforcing pain and suppression thereof. Painful feelings might not be the reason you pick up an addictive behavior, but they certainly are a major reason for the inability to quit when it is clear that this behavior is destroying you. For me, it's been like 15 years - without my inability to deal with pain, shame and guilt, I would have stopped wayyy earlier with this habit. And getting exposed to porn definitely reinforces that pain and, yes, creates even new problematic neurotic symptoms. I think I get what you're saying - but why put in the word 'loser' which carries a lot of value judgment, when you could just say "damn, this addiction is unhealthy and makes me feel miserable all the time, and I don't want to live this way"? I'm doubling down on my position, even though you might agree, to make it a bit more clear and nuanced why I think it's an unhealthy habit we have of demonizing anything or anyone (mostly ourselves). Because the moment you relapse, what do you think this will do to you? You will automatically fall into this belief system you built up for yourself and you put yourself in the box 'loser'. Instead, you could think about yourself like this: "Despite my knowledge that this is unhealthy, I still did it. Why exactly did I do it? What made me overthrow my dedication not to indulge? How do I feel right now, and why? What happens if I try to understand that part of myself that wants to indulge in the behavior? What does it actually want? What does it think it helps itself or myself with by indulging in the addiction? How can I lovingly help this part to see that it is confused and misguided about its strategy to help me?" Can you see how there is no judgment or name calling whatsoever, and that there is love and compassion for yourself, as well as curiosity? You're not a loser in life who needs to get out of being a loser. You THINK you are a loser if you do xyz, and we need to get out of that mindset. Then, we see more clearly. We can see that we simply mistook pleasure for love (and/or other dynamics) and that this is not working. The mind truly stops anything toxic if it REALLY sees that the behavior is indeed damaging itself.

@blessedlion1993 Sounds pretty twisted to me to be honest. Why do you have to call yourself anything that you aren't? LOOK at why you're in the boat. "I tried loving compassion" - well, what does that mean? This is a difficult, deep psychological process that takes time, consciousness and a true desire to heal. You need to see the truth and the truth is not that you're a loser. We always want to grab quick answers to everything. Maybe start being fine with not knowing why you're in addiction. And go from there. Again, even if you think it helps now, it will backfire. Any judgment or good vs bad separation does.

What kind of result are you expecting? Meditation is not aimed at a specific state we want to go to, it is more like an open ended exploration, a complete letting go of wanting anything out of your experience. From your description, you're on the right path. You used techniques to become more conscious, then you could drop the techniques and just stay in your being. There literally is NOTHING TO DO. The simplest and most direct guidance would be this: Stay in the silence/awareness. Just stay there, don't add or subtract anything, don't meddle with anything, just allow yourself to be. Since I know that this can be confusing, I highly (!) recommend you check out these two books, these are my personal favorites when it comes to meditation: - True Meditation by Adyashanti - The Unfolding Now by AH Almaas Also, if you feel a natural curiosity emerge, then there is so to speak "something to do" - you can inquire into your nature. But be aware that this is only temporarily a movement, and in the end even inquiry is a cessation of manipulating anything in your experience. Adyashanti goes into the meditation/inquiry dynamic in the aforementioned book. Also, check out Rupert Spira for that. In the end, all meditation or inquiry culminates in silent being. So don't worry, you're not doing anything wrong

I just did it, but it's not really saying that much in my opinion. I find the topics specific and too few (and on some I don't have a strong opinion) to really give me a picture of who I wanna vote for. But still interesting, thanks!

@Heinrich Faust Wow, thank you so much for sharing this! I'm a German political noob and haven't spent much time researching, even though I'd really like to. It just feels quite overwhelming for me, all these Wahlprogramme from all these many parties, and then seeing all this in proper context. So your evaluation is super helpful. I thought "well I'm just gonna vote for Die Grünen, seems good enough", and I know how naive and uninformed I am. I'm now reading into the Volt Wahlprogramm and I'm impressed. Do you have any other tips regarding what I can do to make the best possible decision when voting? I don't have too much time to research all of it though

This is the toxic mindset of semen retention. No, it's not for losers, and you're not a loser if you masturbate to porn. You're an addict who got into this to deal with pain or intense emotions. You're a child that needs love and compassion for why it's doing what it does, not more judgment. Your mindset will crack, it's not sustainable. Only love can heal you.

@Knowledge Hoarder Yes, and I would say it's not even about "controlling" the sexual energy, but much more about re-learning how to deal with it. Because in a way, we need to learn to surrender to that energy without using sexual activity as a means to escape it. We learned to rub it off whenever the energy gets intense, and now we think we HAVE to release this energy. No, what if we just allow it to be there and bathe in it? At some point though, we have to circulate it, otherwise it gets stuck in the head or the sexual center and this can become dangerous. Maybe this inability to circulate and surrender was the reason we handled the energy in this easy screen-based way in the first place? Anyway, I didn't mean to attack your opinion in that first post, just wanting to pierce through to the seriousness of the issue ?? And of course, judgment DOES play a role, but it's not the first and only thing to look at.

Thank you, will do. I started working on with the main book yesterday and it already flooded me with quite a few insights. Great stuff.

Just beautiful ?? I think you learned very valuable lessons here, very inspiring to read. This insight and acceptance alone is so deep and wonderful. It hurts, it hurts so much. But it is the ultimate humility. I have had similar insights, and in a twisted way I was seeing myself as "being in the way", "being a barrier to that which is true and good and full of love". And in a sense, that is true. I partly misinterpreted this into shame and guilt though. And this is the point: finding the humility in seeing that you can be completely honest, devoted and willing - but that ultimately it's not your call. You can only throw yourself into the emptiness as fully as you can. Often, mere physiological reactions just won't make it possible, and these need to be purified first. Give yourself fully, and trust. That's what eventually "helped me" break through. Trust and love. There is no rush ♥️ it's all here ?️

Go to yoga/psy festivals, participate in workshops (Breathwork, kundalini etc), do meditation retreats. I just recently merged into/cocreated a friend group out of "coincidence" which is green and wow... how beautiful, interconnecting and transformative social life can be. Openness, love, mutual spiritual growth. This is what we need, this is what we crave, this is what we deserve

Was eye balling IFS for a long time, you made me pull the trigger, just got Self-Therapy and the Work book on kindle. Gonna start today. Thank you for the recommendation! I always thought the only book for this is the one by Dr Schwartz. How do you recommend going about this? Reading the one, then working with the other? Or simultaneously?

@Rinne I'm sorry for the mostly bullshit/self-serving/utterly uninformed replies you get here. I'm normally not that harsh but I have dealt with this beast for a long time and after experimenting and observing a lot, I'd say that I understand it quite well. Don't get lost in that sea of mere opinions without ground. First of all: it's an addiction. You don't treat an addiction like "well maybe it's your judgment, maybe just don't do it that often" etc. This is all bullshit - you need to get away from that habit and allow your brain to unwire all these strong neurological patterns as quickly as possible. "Just stop" really is the most direct and unpleasant way. This takes a lot of time and it's fucking hard, that's just the nature of an addiction - and this addiction, not only to porn but to orgasm, is a fucking strong one. So there are multiple things required for you stopping: You need to want to stop. You need to see, by consciously engaging in the addiction, that it is fucking up your brain. Do you see the lethargy, the fucked up hormone system, the distorted view of yourself and women and all the other effects? They are undeniable, every addict has these to some degree. People who deny that just aren't honest, serve an agenda of not wanting to stop, are ignorant, deluding themselves, or they truly have no contrasting experience of being sober of this addiction. If you doubt it, stop the addiction and see for yourself. So when you clearly see how you're holding yourself in this trap, at some point there is a true will that just wants to stop. Cultivate that, without it you're not gonna make it. This might be the most important step. Secondly, and I know people will object, look into semen retention, research it and let it inform you. You can start with Mantak Chia's "Tao Yoga of Love". All these people here defending masturbation come from a different perspective, and I respect that. But semen retention truly is not only an advanced spiritual practice but what I think is much more natural than most want to believe. It's radical and no one likes to stop ejaculating and take this as the way to live life. The reason is, because it feels good, that's it. All else is justification strategy. If you're not even giving this a serious try for a few months at least, you're selling yourself short of what you can be. Prana / Shakti / Life energy is real. It's so fucking real. And it is lost through ejaculating, that is absolutely clear when you dare to be conscious and honest enough. And if you cultivate this energy, if you transmute it, circulate it, use it - this is the energetical side of enlightenment work. Your meditations will transform radically, your daily energy and creativity will go through the roof, your kundalini energy might tickle your spine or even awaken. This is the energy we want on this path. It's a conductor of consciousness, it is grace, love manifested. Be sure to understand, if you're open to this possibility and if you want that, that it takes time and effort. It's sooo hard. But it's worth the hard times manifold. You gotta learn how to work with your energy. You gotta learn how to deal with the latent addiction and its urges. It is all learned behavior and you have the power to unwrite it. If you want any support and more information, hit me up whenever you like. I made it 100+ days recently and am currently at about 5 weeks with more determination than ever, and I've never felt better. Again, it is unmistakably clear that Shakti is growing, and it's changing my whole spiritual endeavor. I wish you the strength to experience this yourself. All the best to you ♥️