Aquarius

@Spiral Why would I suffer from this breakup? It's over and that's it lol. Nothing to suffer through. Or is there some rule that you must suffer after a break up? You're right, but I don't know how to make the first move, and there are almost never any concerts or events so idk. And I don't feel like spending money on traveling to "hunt dick". I'm really scared of people too, I admit I need some help or self-help to feel more comfy. I actually have a friend who always brings other friends I never met before and I think that's cool, but most of the time it's teens and I feel old. But nah, I kinda don't want to depend on him, not quite sure what to do. Thing is, I'm not this super cute nurturing sweet creature of light or whatever, I'm super moody, slow, sometimes rude, way too quiet, and I want people like this next to me. And this type of people like me usually don't go outside (because we don't feel at home next to other people who are constantly dramatizing and whatnot). I would like someone mature, authentic and similar to me in what i described before. That's why I was thinking dating sites. Why do you not recommend dating sites?

@Psyche_92 No jealousy, no emptiness. Idk what you're talking about. @Melwyn Hmm good question... Most "relationship gurus" say you have to make yourself look super cute then go to events and such to get noticed and then someone will approach you. But this sucks, because I cannot approach anyone, because I'm a girl and I'm not supposed to do that. That would make me look desperate. Was looking for some tips from other girls and women.

@Serotoninluv You mean while travelling? Sure. @Epiphany_Inspired Thanks!

@Nahm Thank you!

Alright, so I came up with this idea of writing motivational statements for those of you being unmotivated/lost in life or who are lost in mental-masturbation. Truth is I'm also writing some of these for myself in case I ever need them. I'll list some that come into mind, and you guys can continue writing these "if...then..." statements in posts below. Put your ass to work, people! If truly you want something, then give it all you got to get it. If you are poor, then stop excuses and get creative. If you are overweight, then put aside 20 or 30 minutes a day for fitness (it's not that much plus it's your health!!). If your family annoys you, then stop depending on them and move out. (assuming you are 18+, if not, just study hard or spend as much time as you can in the local library) If you feel lonely, then 1. join a community, 2. approach people at your school/college/work, 3. call an old friend, 4. do the first step towards someone (people don't bite), 5. befriend yourself and enjoy quality time or 6. pick up a book. If you want a boyfriend, then stop staying at home waiting for "prince charming on the white horse", and go outside to socialize. (no excuses, if it's important for you then: you do have time, there's no obstacles, your town is just fine, someone out there is worth your energy) If you want a girlfriend, then meet more girls and actually learn how to talk to them. If your partner is not the right one, then stop depending on them for anything from sex to financial security, and find The One (or else you'll be miserable). If you're mentally ill and want to heal/get more stable, then ask yourself how much effort you actually put into this and the resources are you investing on becoming better. (then the solution is obvious) If you suffer because of your beliefs/belief system, then ask yourself if they're worth holding in the first place. If you want to do something but are hesitating to do it, then remember that life is short. If you want something big out of your life, then you have to learn. A lot. Non-stop. Forever. If you want to be the best in your field, then you have to develop the skills. And you do that by practice. If there's an obstacle, then there's a solution too. If you want to tame your mind, then meditate. More to be added soon.:)

@Serotoninluv You just gave me the best idea. I too could travel to the nearby bigger town. Tnx

@Leo-Tzu You're right, I might even hold back my bf from growth without realising it. @Epiphany_Inspired All this consciousness-oriented stuff is giving me a head-ache sometimes, y'know. I think where I am right now I don't even satisfy the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy... so I need to take it slowly. I like to keep a balance between spirituality and fun. Honestly I don't even see a difference between the two. I see everything as spiritual, everything has magic in it. It's incredible. I don't feel the need to neuroticly cut off "low-consc." stuff, although I do care about healthy diet and such. One step at a time. I already get more insights that I can process anyway, and I'm neglecting my "carnal" needs...

@BjarkeT Ahhhhhhh, old Leo <3 I loved those vids. Ok, and I do this in front of the mirror or something? Also it's pretty hard since I don't live alone in the house, and I'm never alone here. But that's just another excuse. I'll make it work. Tnx. @Serotoninluv Depends where you live, if you're stuck in a small town like mine, you get like 1-2 events per year. PER YEAR. And no groups really. Maybe just radical religious ones. @Epiphany_Inspired Thanks for your empathy. And it's cool to be alone sometimes, but as I said, all the time? I'm alone all day, all week, all month, all year, all my life I've been alone. I don't get what's so romantic about it.

Did you get any results?

@BjarkeT Good idea, I actually would like to try that... except where I live people aren't that open to strangers, they might think you want something from them or idk. At least in a small town like this. But yeah, I could easily spot the people who would be good for me so I might try. Problem is, what do I say to them? Or any books on cold-approaching? Also my looks aren't too pleasant, I look aggressive and cold hearted. I remember when once I went off-meds I got my serotonin levels pretty high and I could easily talk to anyone. Actually people approached me! Some crazy LoA stuff was going on! I'll never forget those times. But now I'm on my meds again. And it's nothing I can do about it.

Omg what is dissss I feel this all the time about literally everything, am I a monster? Even inanimate objects and plants. And especially my boyfriend.

They're your values, and it's fine to stick with them. No one can ask you to "bend". Just make sure these values aren't based on some fear, like fear of getting pregnant (I actually suffer from this). Also ask yourself if you have some limiting beliefs about sex. You seem like the type of person who needs intimate sex, I mean sex that has love in it not just carnal satisfaction. And if you want some men like that, well, it isn't that rare, there's a group of people whose sexual orientation is Asexual. Which means they might have sex with you, but don't crave it. But everyone has different definition for their (a)sexuality, so be compassionate when you meet someone. You could download an asexual dating app and meet asexuals. I met many asexuals and they're cool people. I don't think your therapist meant to hurt you, he is just trying his best to help you. He suggested an idea, but it's up to you what you do with your life. It's your life.

@Leo-Tzu Oh why, but I do enjoy music. @alyra weird, because I want silence ... unfortunately there is no silence where I live. Family chattering about annoying nonsense, tv turned on nonstop, cars and other vehicles making noise outside, sometimes neighbors screwing the walls or whatever. So it's so much noise, that I want some actual quality stuff so I listen to my favourite mixes and bands etc. My hearing is damaged from all the music and I'm only 20 years old (turning 20 this Sunday!!)

@Leo-Tzu I mean I keep listening to it, I crave it for relaxation. Scientists say it's like sex or food, so why can't it be an addiction? I listen to neurofunk, grime, rap, 80's music, black metal, everything psychedelia... What I do is.. umm idk how can this be put in words... I walk around? And dance sometimes? But mostly walk.. like walking meditation. Except inside the house. All day. Lots of great insights and ideas. But still a poor results maker I am. Oh well. Oh and I feel like I have no control, if I stopped for a day I would climb the walls in pain. But you're right, it's mostly the walking that I need. I don't go outside much, but inside the house I walk like 10kilometers a day. I'm weird, try to understand me please.. ;-; idk how this started.

@YaNanNallari Well, and where did I say we should shoot for pain? The emphasis was on hard work and getting yourself motivated. Besides, these statements were compiled/inspired from Leo's older videos like "how to stop getting lazy" or "be a results maker". It doesn't have to be painful, just do your thing. I don't see why I got all this negative feedback. @Jamie Universe Thank you! This is exactly what I meant, to spread some hope or something. Yay... @Nahm Could you explain please? I'm not sure if I understand. @Source_Mystic Well obviously these were just some random ideas, I never said this was the only way to achieve something. I wasn't being absolute and saying "you MUST do this and there's no other option". No! I just gave a few ideas. And actually, I do hold the belief we should take responsibility for everything in our lives, otherwise we become the ultimate victim, and it's just very painful. But yes, I do realise things are the way they are, and they cannot be otherwise. But it doesn't necessarily mean we need to stop doing our thing, y'know. And excuse me but I don't think of terms of good and evil. I transcended beyond that. Even though I'm still working on embodying it. And I never said I judged someone who kills, I can totally understand their motives, feelings, etc. I know anger can make people do some crazy stuff. Also what was your intention with this example, this I don't understand... Perhaps prove me I don't have compassion? I know well what compassion is. And where's your compassion for me? Calling me cold and naive. Meh, been called worse. These actually do sound like compliments.

@NoSelfSelf Well, and what if I want things? Who says I don't want them?

You sound like "My argument is higher consciousness so more valid than that my gf's." Stop treating people like they are some lower rank. You basically hold a belief and try to convince her of your "truth". You two are basically the same, holding a belief and trying to convince each other. Nothing wrong with that honestly, just be aware of this. You are being critical of her, judging her arguments as low-consciousness. How is your opinion truer than hers? You see her being judgmental of the murderer, but ask yourself, where are you judgmental in life?

Well for me I'm like, screw internet, idc much, but that's where I get my music from and I think it's more like a music addiction, like in your case. Also reading stuff, I enjoy learning new things C: Idk what would I do without reading articles and free ebooks. (since the library is wip right now in the town)

Oh wow. I'd be so honoured to talk to you one day, like in pm or something :3 You seem amazing!

Omg Leo saw my post *explodes* <333 Ok sorry. *cough cough* Soooo, yeah I agree, it's not that I am wrong or he is, just different values. And an answer to your question, maybe I just love this shoe. Idk. It's my favourite shoe. I sense some ego. Daaayyumm...

@MaxBlank Thanks, I actually wanted to delete this topic shortly after posting it because I realised these things myself as well. I'm not even sure what I was asking myself with this post. I hope I didn't sound too bigoted. I guess I was just wondering if someone who doesn't even care about his life can be with someone who wants to eternally grow. But I should ask this from myself not other people...

Thanks for sharing this beautiful and inspiring song and that website with us (saved for later).

Basically your friends think that if they dislike someone that means everyone agrees with them and that their opinion is the most supreme truth. They have no idea about love, they sound like some superficial pricks. They are the ones you should feel sorry for. As for love, I always held the belief that one should love himself first before expecting love from others. The person with low self esteem CAN be loved, but he makes it hard for both parties, since he will always seek approval and validation and proof, and it's painful for the lover too to see his loved one suffer like that. Self-fulfilling prophecy in a nut-shell. Love is not conditional either. And yes, everyone can be loved. I mean look at Hitler, he has a huge fan base, when in fact he wouldn't even deserve it since he killed masses of people and stuff.

Ever since I was 14 I kept having this guilt about literally everything. Guilt about materialism, guilt about enjoying things, guilt about being sad sometimes, guilt about being happy sometimes. It's like every thought I have, anything I read, everything being told to me, it all triggers this guilt mechanism. It usually happens when someone says something I do not agree with, but they are more well-read than me or more experienced or it's something that I'm not ready for yet. Then I'm just harsh on myself and beat myself up, that why can't I be a "good" person in that area?. It basically paralyzes me in life. So much that sometimes I feel guilty to even brush my hair! (not literally, I still do maintain a healthy hygiene lol...) Now I'm 20, and I started self-help, studying Leo's videos, reading articles, butI keep having severe guilt trips and I don't know why??? Could it be black-white thinking or certain dogma? Moralistic thinking? How do I get to the core of this emotion? I'm sure there are unresolved things in there but it's unlike anything I've dealt with before. It's super hidden. If this helps, I used to be the most hardcore Christian when I was 14 but it only lasted 6 months, then I was totally atheistic (until finding nonduality), but this guilt behavior continued and still continues. What could it be? Also, it's not always present, it comes in "waves". That's why I can have great insights, give quality advice and function well, and I'm also quite healthy, both physically and mentally, but after a while it comes back. I am curious to know where am I mistaken when this problem is present? And how come it's not always present, just sometimes? What induces it? Thanks in advance!

I actually found someone talking about this exact issue on YouTube. Most of his ideas are centered around this. He's pretty underground tho, not a big channel.