exhale

I was playing the song in my room, and my wife said "who is that, I like it, it is catchy". She had no context on what/who I was playing, nor do we particularly like rap. Great job man.

^ what this guy said Adjust your perspective that your life purpose is going to hit you like a truck, it is a process.

One word. Volunteer.

It would be valuable if you shared your goals: both professionally and financially. I think the recommendations would be different if your goals was to "pay the bills", or to be "financially wealthy".

At 15 years of age, you are in stage where you are in an inevitably friction-inducing relationship with your parents as you are simultaneously gaining independence, but your parents are still doing their best to guide you to develop and mature. This is a normal and necessary stage of human development. I would recommend that you take some time and consider it from your parent's point of view. You do not need to agree with your parents, but try to understand from your parent's point of view. If they google "actualized.org", some of the first things that come up will be: - Hallucinogenic and neuroactive drugs - Leo might be on the path of developing a cult I will keep my personal opinions on those points to myself at this time, but If this was what I found when "researching" something my kids were interested in, I would be very concerned as well. I may be wrong, but it is probable that your parents are more concerned regarding about the above two points more than they are about meditation or contemplation. Or they are concerned regarding some quality/characteristic that you have demonstrated (but aren't aware of) like hyperidealization of Leo's teachings, infatuation with Leo (or other teachers), overprioritization over schoolwork, etc. I echo what Leo said. Actualized.org is a tool in the toolbox for actualization. It is mostly helpful, but not necessary, in many cases it actually becomes a distraction or a facade compared to true growth. I'm sure that when you posted this message you were frustrated, but this challenge might be the perfect obstacle you need to take the next step in actualization. Try not to react to the frustration with your parents, exercise your ability to understand their perspective. This would be stage yellow (in my opinion). There is power and wisdom in understanding the system of family dynamics. With the hopes that your parents aren't uncompromising, suggest that you guys watch a video together and talk about it.

@Elisabeth I understand and respect your perspective. Good luck with the next chapter Elisabeth!

We all have triggers. We are all evolving in this moment, including Leo. Let's not expect everyone (including the teacher) to be perfect.

If you are lost, but have ambition (which it sounds like you do). Pursue a life of service, do something that helps others. Esteem follows esteem-able acts. You will quickly find something that resonates with you. It will take time to figure out what you want to do, accept that. And if you are a creative person, that "thing that you want to do" will probably change several times throughout your life. Your anxiety is likely a manifestation on the social and family expectations on you (as others have eluded to). Take time to feel the anxiety, explore it through meditation and contemplation. The anxiety is not a bad thing, just try to explore it, identify where it is coming from.

@Elisabeth Is there any possibility of changing your research topic so that you can find something interesting (that you are passionate about), so that you don't have the scrap the last 'x' # of years you've been training? (I speak from experience, I became disenchanted with my career choice, and was exploring alternative options. Fortunately, I stumbled across a sub-discipline within my field that I am incredibly passionate about. It is a shame to throw away those years of training if it isn't needed). Be strategic. I always worry about people quitting their careers overnight and subsequently realizing that the logistics of earning income as a "coach" is almost impossible. Keep exploring your feelings. Try to rekindle your interest in your career. Measure twice, cut once.

@Shan I can give you a story from yesterday. I am at a professional conference, where I was granted the privilege of giving a presentation in front of a large group of my colleagues. Just prior to my presentation, my sympathetic nervous system kicked into over-drive. Palms sweating, mouth dry, my heart was pounding so hard I could feel the blood traveling down my aorta. Now... There are two paths that can be taken at this point. 1) This is anxiety! My primitive "lizard brain" is telling me that this is a dangerous situation (making yourself vulnerable in front of a crowd). I could either flee the situation (fight or flight), or I could use some tool to suppress the anxiety (medications, etc) because I don't like how it feels. 2) I can reframe my feelings and sensations, and take this as a brilliant reminder that I am alive. I can recognize that these feelings and sensations are "normal" and "part of being a human-being". Further, in the break prior to my presentation, I went back to my room to meditate; and through mindfulness, I accepted these feelings/sensations, and avoided labelling them as "good" or "bad". I just felt them, accepted them for what they were.

@NoSelfSelf Try to articulate your problem with more clarity. Are you struggling to find your life purpose? Or are you struggling to bring your life purpose into fruition?

Careful. There may be a chance that you need to reevaluate how you interact with individuals around you. You may be playing a larger part in the outcome of these interactions than you think.

@GenuinePerspectiveXC I am not a coach, but would like to add a comment from a "client" point of view. I would place more value and trust into a coach that has success in areas of their life other than in life-coaching. Not to say there can't be exceptions. For example, I would not entrust my life and career to be influenced by someone who's resume went from high school to life coach. Just my two cents.

@LoveandPurpose Great question. You are young, and you have 6 months left. Focus on the last 6 months, and get good grades. Then figure out what the next step it. Be patient. Don't let this cohort on actualized.org completely dissuade you to following an academic/traditional training path. Not saying it is, or isn't the right thing to do. I would likely agree that most "typical" psychology programs may not resonate with you. Consider researching some individuals in academia that share some of your professional interests, and consider studying under them. This is my opinion: - If I were seeking out an individual to help me with positive/transpersonal psychology, I would be much more likely to pay an individual with some sort of professional accreditation (bachelor, masters, ph.d in psychology) that created a niche for themselves in positive/transpersonal psychology than someone that pursued self-study. Of course, this is not a rule, and there would be numerous exceptions to this. It will offer credibility to those you want to help. Here is a metaphor: - I would love my kid's teacher to be one that "thinks outside of the box", and challenges their kids with creative, innovative, and counterintuitive methods. Nevertheless, I still want them to hand a fundamental training background in education. Best of luck L&P

I struggle with this topic. If you could add context on why you believe your friends are toxic, and what you goals and motivations were for removing those relationships would be helpful. Yes, inevitably you become the average of the closest people to you. This is an important concept. Though, there is something said to accept, love, and respect all those around you, for who they are. This doesn't mean that you can't grow apart with time. I worry that "surgically resecting" your close friends can be a dangerous instrument to use towards actualization. I believe it sends the wrong message to your community, although your intentions are likely good, the result is that you appear condescending and elitist (the opposite of love). I am big on balance. I agree that a key to happiness and contentless is to accept the idea (and reality) of being alone. Co-dependent relationships and tendancies are problematic. Though, does one need to fundamentally isolate themselves to do this? I think not, I believe this can spiral into depression for those not prepared for the ramifications. Be patient. Love those around you. Be the best person you can be, and naturally (with time) your community will evolve.

I have discussed my intermittent experience that was similar in nature, but different in magnitude. While meditating, I would experience the sensation that my back was bending, so that I was 45-70' to the left or right. Though, when I opened my eyes, my back was vertical. No explanation of insight on my part, just sharing a potentially similar experience.

I think you completely understand the dynamic. This concept applies very well to the majority of those on actualized.org who seems to aspire to life coaching, and establishing some form of spiritual practice. It is less applicable to more mainstream vocations; which can also be rewarding, challenging and satisfying. Happiness can be found in mainstream careers, and acting as an employee. I don't want to misrepresent Leo, but I think a big appeal of being self-employed is that it gives you (more of an opportunity for) creative expression, autonomy to ensure that your job is in-line with your life purpose, and facilitates time for "self-work".

"crabs in the bucket", is what I meant.

@VioletFlame I grew up in a family that didn't place importance on education, though it was not actively villianized. It sounds like there is a little bit of a "crabs in the pocket" effect. Your family members may be sour because they perhaps didn't have the same opportunities that you did, and they are projecting this onto you. It seems that based Leo's words, university is stigmatized on actualized.org, and entrepreneurship is idolized. I can say for me, I have my dream job and that was not possible without going to University. I think you need to get more strategic and specific about what it is that you want to pursue. Then, make a decision which path you are going to take. If you are doing well, and just have a thirst for knowledge, you can always do independent study of open-source (free) courses. Good luck

I understand the essence of what you are asking, but could you provide some more context. Could you give examples of the two different paths you could pursue: one ethical and one unethical?

Whenever I am overwhelmed with my to-do list, I do the following. I literately create a list, that way I know that I will get to each item eventually, and this often diffuses my stress and gives me direction. Take an hour with no distractions and brainstorm all the stories that you may consider writing about. Rank them from the most important story to tell. Take it from there. You can't write a book in a day. Consider scheduling writing blocks to keep you on track. Full disclosure, I am not a writer. Just given general life advice.

I don't know anything about the company in particular, but it sounds just like some "businesses" that my friends were involved with 5 years ago. Run. Cut your losses.

I find that a walk or relaxing bike ride allows me to recount the stories and compose how I would write them (in my head). Also, talking out loud to myself helps me compose a good flow.

Rich Roll is an inspiration. On a superficial look, he appears to be a "youtube" personality. But when you go deep, learn about his life experience and back story, and pay attention to how he handles/communicates certain issues, he has so much to offer. In a nut shell, he was an Ivy League swimmer in his youth and became a lawyer for 15-20 years. He initially became a functional alcoholic, but slowly progressed into being a nonfunctional alcoholic, which led to the dismantling of his life. After years of misery and instability, he asked for help. Following his sobriety, he started training again and performed many incredible feats. An example of which is he performed 5 iron mans in a week. Part of his transformation into a sobriety and reinvigoration of his health (through sport) was that he took on a whole-food plant-based diet; he give a large amount of credit to this diet change for his ability to perform these sporting feats at his age (40's). He has a podcast (the Rich Roll Podcast) where he brings on a variety of inspirational sporting and spiritual-focused individuals. I would recommend any of the podcasts with guru Singh as a starting point. Why is he an inspiration to me? Although I did not have alcohol-dependency issues, I was struggling with my health. Through his podcast he inspired me to take back my health, through a plant-based diet and sport. 60 lbs later, I am healthier than I have been for the past decade. I am very fortunate to have come across Rich Roll's content online. His drive in life, his ability to communicate with compassion, his focus on health and spirituality, and his humility are all characteristics I find inspiring.

rich roll