lmfao

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  1. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Thursday, 01/08/2019 I'm a bit bored right now, typing for the sake of it really since I'm waiting for something to happen in half an hour. My meditation routine for a while now has been quite bad, but the times I do meditate have been great with mystical states. All my mystical states have the theme of reality just being the creation of something from nothing, the word spontaneous doesn't do justice to how spontaneous it is. Not sure what I've done to get lucky with mystical states really. There's an issue I've been noticing in examining my low conciousness behaviours. When I'm in a high state of conciousness, I sort of forget how and why it was that I was ever in a low state of conciousness. When I'm in a high state of conciousness I'm still not always in the best position to observe little low conciousness things since I am not in a low state of conciousness. Getting a sharp picture of your habits requires high conciousness, and that's what I need for low conciousness habits. The best thing to do, is for me try and prolong the state of high conciousness for as long as I can. In catching myself slipping I can get a more vivid picture of low consciousness habits. Another random thing I've been doing is conscious body contraction. Instead of conscious body relaxation, I keep my muscles tensed for a while and observe it consciously even when it feels so uncomfortable to do so. I try do my bad habit of tensing in a conscious way deliberately so as to see the mechanics of the habit more clearly. In the end, I never did cut out wasteful Internet use. But I know, and have felt, that if I want any sort of greatness sacrifices have to be made. My embodiment is so rediculously bad, and real behaviour change is needed. On the plus side, I've felt that my meditation and conciousness work has in a way fueled my interest in maths and physics. Especially since right now I'm studying more foundational and ground-zero topics in maths. And then having an amazing moment of just not knowing just makes grasping the actuality of things feel rewarding.
  2. I see Leo or other people here typing insights they've had, I've typed "insights" I've had. But I don't see them as any different from beliefs. Right now I am communicating through the domain of assumptions by using language, and in our assumptions these insights we get from consciousness work just help as pointers. Would you say it is no more than that?
  3. Alright, I will take that notice on board. Ok, this is good food for contemplation. Also, nice example lol.
  4. The universe can understand on top of perceive too, hmmm. Whenever people talk about meditation or practice non-duality, the overall impression I've got is that it's all about reaching a place of pure perception. You're just seeing what is. Are you saying there's something beyond "what is"? But how can that be, if everything that "is" is just "is"? I'm guessing it's maybe possible to deeply/vividly see instantaneous mechanisms of creation at higher levels of perception, and that's why you talk about understanding. This is far beyond any direct experience ive had ,so yeah. I wonder, what is going on when I'm able to know how to turn on a facet. The power of insight baked into language eh? I probably won't get that for a while. Ok, I guess I see your point more.
  5. The deeper you meditate and closer you look at experience, one will come to realise that it feels as though everything is coming from nothing. But there is something misleading about the phrase "coming from", as it implies that there is some sort of (actual process)/(lag) to creation. Even when one hears the word "creation" ones mind can't help but imagine a process which takes time and consists of multiple steps. It is the most spontaneous, instantaneous thing you can imagine, the way there is something coming from nothing/(the void). It is beyond what you can think of, and even words like "spontaneous" cant quite grasp how spontaneous this process of absolutely zero lag is. You really do just have infinity stacked upon infinity. I'll reference the metaphor of a line. A line by definition is an infinite number of points. And a line can be cut into an infinite number of lines (each new line having an infinite number of points), with each of those newly generated infinite number of lines having a further infinite number of lines. Each of these new lines is just another line which can be chopped into an infinite number of lines. ∞/∞=∞, and we can divide infinity by infinity over and over again and all we'll get is infinity. Imagine a single point to represent the infinite amazingness of spontaneous creation; something from nothing. Any sort of interval of time, any sort of event can be like a line. And this line is filled with an infinite number of points, and each of those points are infinite in of in themselves. Each line breaks into an infinite number of lines. Infinity x infinity x infinity.... and even more "computations"* are going on, which each computation being infinite itself. So like in our experience we have wave after wave of an infinite number of points, with each point being infinite in itself. And when you get a small hit of just all this creation going on, you feel the infinite love/bliss. *(again you can reference the first paragraph for why the word "computations" would be misleading in the same way I described why the phrase "coming from" is misleading) NB: I wrote this for myself as well after my meditation session just now and wanted to record what I was feeling. And don't let this description limit your thoughts about what infinity is, I just hope somebody out there has a similar enough brain to me and can perhaps get something from the way I've framed things.
  6. @Leo GuraBut how can understanding exist if there is no one for there to understand anything? How aren't these insights mere thoughts which trick you into leaving the realm of not knowing and pure perception? This might be a on a tangent. I remember a while ago on your blog about recent awakenings, you said that at some point, skepticism must stop and one arrives at the "truth". And you mentioned that you are well aware of the fact that it looks like you've decided to just cling to something since you got bored/tired of seeking. But I don't really get with what you're saying. Like what does it mean stop skepticism? Isn't the "final" state one can enter a state of pure not-knowing?
  7. Wow, this is so true. I suppose I've had an aversion to the idea that psychedelics are needed to reach the highest degrees of consciousness, but I suppose that is just me making the assumption that there are no shortcuts to spirituality. There is no reason to assume that there are no short cuts in this process. Just because everything is perfect doesn't mean reality owes it to me to make it easy that I become aware of its perfection. In fact, biblical descriptions of hell could be real and it'd still be loving and perfect. For now I'll continue sticking to something analogous to the "American Dream", that with enough practice and diligence I'll get my goals.
  8. @Leo Gura Which people, and what neurotransmitter/brain differences do you believe to be significant? Or are you making the assertion that there are brain/neurotransmitter differences without specifics due to the observation you've made that talent exists in this regard? Aren't the people who do the practices seriously just conscientious? Or does the word "serious" here refer to their ability to actually dive deep into the practice?
  9. Blind
  10. Nothing
  11. You could say that that karma states that you get what you yourself do. We could say that from the non-dual view of things karma is true since everything that happens to you is what you do, since you are everything/reality/god. But, I want to look at the use of the word karma in the more typical sense. Where the word "you" is just referencing the ego. Do you think karma then exists? Is there a mechanism in the universe called karma which is a mechanism like gravity for example? (obviously one of them is more observable and "scientific" than the other). And how does this mechanism called karma then work? Is it based upon simple "good" and "bad"? If I commit some heinous crime then I get punished for it by society. But societies treatment of me after I commit a crime seems irrelevant to the existence of karma as an actual law of the universe since of if I was in a different society (or even in no society) I would not be punished for the crime. So all in all, im tempted to just think Karma as a law of the universe from the perspective of the ego is false.
  12. @Sage_Elias I would but it would be a little too fucked up, in general and for this forum.
  13. @Ibn Sina I don't know, its hard to comment on extraversion since I'm not extroverted. I don't know how it feels to be an extravert with a different cognition to my own. But like everyone else said, I doubt introversion is a sign of higher cognitive development. Also make sure you don't conflate extraversion/introversion with somewhat measurable traits like "openness to experience" , "neuroticism" , "conscientiousness" or "agreeableness. Im referring to the big five traits model.
  14. @Brivido So when you closed your eyes, you saw visual hallucinations/peturbances ? What are they like? Like if I close my eyes and rub my eyes, does it look like that?
  15. @Aakash On what basis are you to assert a numerical quantity to measure how conscious of God you are?

  16. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    @moon777light

  17. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    It's all so good, what did I do to deserve this love?
  18. Touche @Shiva @Nahm @ajasatyaall good points. Insights feel different to beliefs.
  19. @Leo GuraWhat do you mean by "understand" here exactly? Most of the time the word "understand" is used in reference to a conceptual grasp of something. So in what sense is the word "understand" meaningful here? What's the stance you've personally taken in how you talk about the various experiences you have? For example, how are you to talk about various psychedelic experiences. Whats your overall attitude towards the issue of communication? @Nahm What do you mean by there being some realisation that is not yet in the "recognition of being"? Why is it not in the recognition of being? In what form is this "realization"? The common element I'm getting from all these responses is the feeling of "eureka". @tsuki Good response with you framing it as a shift in being, need it be said that the riddle isn't the insight itself @mandyjw Well two things come to mind, obviously the insight itself isn't the words you use and also like you pointed out just because someone uses words doesn't mean there's a "belief". Theres a problem with how the word "belief" is defined. I imagine that even if someone is enlightened, they'll still function in the world and use certain metaphysics to operate without "believing" in those metaphysics. Yet to an outside observer the difference between them "believing" what they say versus them "not believing" what they say cant be ascertained. Problem also arises with how you define "you", who is it that is having the belief. If you look at psychological literature there are all sorts of labels about the different parts of you. Terms like "id" , "ego" , "superego" , "shadow" , "unconscious" , "subconscious", these terms all exist because we can't figure out who we are and what constitutes ourself. What part of you has the belief? Different parts of you would have different forms and different ways of "believing"?
  20. @Leo Gura So you're saying an insight is something which you feel, rather the something you "think". Because whatever the insight is, it cannot be verbally communicated.
  21. Anyone else have a similar thing happening? I very rarely take armodafinil, but in the last several times I take it it just makes me more sleepy. There's this thing called the "The Stimulant Paradox" for people with ADHD where when stimulants are taken, they have the opposite to expected result. https://allpsych.com/disorders/neurodevelopmental-disorders/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/adhd-stimulant-paradox/ So it seems that sometimes modafinil would help with ADHD for some people. However, this paradoxical effect of stimulants can sometimes cause people to feel sleepy I speculate, does anyone else here have any similar experiences? I've only found one other person online who's mentioned modafinil making them more sleepy.
  22. @Ampresus I used to meditate sitting on my bed with no cushion as well. When u sit in ur bed like that, your weight causes the mattress to dip such that there's extra strain on your back to keep your posture. I felt like there was a torque trying to get me to fall over and lie down on my back when meditating. I just sit on a pillow on top of my bed, it's much easier. As for how long you want to meditate... Its entirely up to your goals. If you are serious about changing something or making progress youll have to just do a high volume of mindfullness. If I sit on a cushion it takes longer for my legs to hurt as well. For making progress, here's a quote from shinzen "My standard answer for both of these questions is to suggest that people utilize what I call the Three Accelerators: Trigger Practice, Duration Training, and Challenge Sequences. The Three Accelerators have the effect of “pushing the envelope” of one’s practice." https://www.shinzen.org/duration-training/
  23. @Inliytened1 yeah I pretty much I agree with you there. There's just so much talk about God this, God that.... Language is used to discern things, distinguish things, so if there was something that EVERYTHING had in common you could not describe that something with words even if you tried. Like maybe leo said once, it goes even more beyond trying to describe the taste of water to someone who hasn't tasted water. Yeah the dynamic here doesn't work compared to a monastery.
  24. Fair enough, leaving the forum isn't a bad move. What were your concerns about how this forum is run anyway?
  25. Ironically enough all this thread does is support the case that this forum is bad when the thread was created to stop the forum from being bad. This is not an attack on your level of conciousness @Anton_Pierre I just think this thread is "meh" in my subjective evaluation. I joined this forum in like December 2017. I don't know why, but recently the forum has just gone to shit. I don't feel like it always was this way. Very few users on here that I actually engage with meaningfully or who I think write thoughtful posts. I think part of what's happened is that we're talking in circles, speaking about the same topics over and over again, so people just get lazy in their responses. Whether it is ascribable or not to me projecting my own psychology onto the forum, it feels as though there's very little engagement with the individual when responses are written. It feels like I'm hearing drones parrot teachings things rather than hearing an exchange of feelings. But regardless of what I wrote in the above paragraph, it feels like something which I cannot verbalise has changed about this forum. Maybe I've changed as well. Who knows.