lmfao

The Book of Not Knowing, Chapter 2: Moving Beyond Belief Subsection: Creating a New Perspective There, Ralston uses flat vs round earth as an example of belief. Looking at what you yourself know to be the case. He has a guided exercise there. Get that in this moment, you don't know what shape the earth is.

Sitting even closer to the wall is something to try. I'm seeing if there's this trick I can do of keeping my attention on my peripheral vision. Does anyone else do this with eyes open meditation? Keep attention on peripheral vision? I might be making things up which are distractions Just meditate with glasses on a few times as well

@Emerald Yeah that's it! I'm someone who does what you're describing Neuroticism can be hidden away under, or masquerade as, introversion. Social withdrawal can get chalked away as introversion

You didn't steal this thought from me did you?

I don't want this post to come across as edgy, or cliche relative to this forum by using the word survival. I was thinking recently that because modern life (my life) is so cushy, I'm shielded in a bubble from nature in a comfort zone. A bubble of technology and convenience. If this is the case then discipline only becomes more important. When I feel alive or have felt jolted alive, I'm reminded of the sink or swim nature of life. Does anyone else feel as though they've had to find a way to remind themselves of this in order to push on? Or do you think this approach is complete bullshit? Does the approach break for you due to being limited, since you end up being filled with fear, and working/striving unconsciously? Unconsciously working yourself obviously isn't an ideal or good thing obviously.

@RendHeaven You've finished up to season 4 part 1 have you? Two days is a very short time to have binged it all. The ending was so bad I wasn't able to listen to My War without getting PTSD But now I can still enjoy this banger

I hate to break to you but the manga ending was.....{spoiler noises}. I was in love with it too, but the ending was so bad I was angry for a full week. You could even get me worked up about it now

@Etherial Cat Ah nice. Maybe I'll check out those others bands to see if I like them. Edit: I listened to some of it and it was alright. Just that one song Mauvais Garcon is what sticks with me from what I've found Naast's CD cover for the song, I love this random image so much for no reason lmao

The first few hours of my day were shit. But then I brought it back temporarily after going for a run, I had a good mindset afterwards. But again it changed after ate fried eggs with toast. Simply eating that meal made me sluggish. Whenever I eat anything I become sluggish. This just highlights to me that something is weird about when I eat food sometimes. I think eggs don't suit me? That sucks balls if it's true. For breakfast I'll eat Avocado without egg. Then day after Avocado with boiled egg in morning. See the difference. Now I am forced to make better decisions when eating and take responsibilities for my health. I'll continue reading that mercury detox manual, super easy to read and see what you need to do. I'll have to figure out which meals make me sluggish and which don't. -- More importantly I realised something else though after my run. I realised how disconnected I am from material reality and the body. More importantly though, I'm disconnected from nature and survival. Shielded in a technology bubble from nature's logic, forgetting what's always remained the case. Life is a struggle for survival. 24/7 you are making decisions of some kind. After my run, I was just sitting on the grass thinking "maybe I can ignore concepts" and just look for truth. But I realised that's false, because concepts are needed to self actualise, achieve goals in the world. I cannot ignore this aspect of reality. My goals aren't enlightenment or radical truth. My goal is shadow work, self actualisation and life purpose. Because I cannot ignore concepts, I have to outsmart the obstacles in front of me in a sense. I have to press the right keys. Make the right choices and have discipline. I really did forget about what the bottom line is. The bottom line is, you either do something or you don't. Untill I develop that capacity, all is naught -- Making time for self reflection and faggy ramblings is important. I like to faggy ramble all the time, it's wonderful. But that can't be the only thing you do. When you wake up tomorrow, go for a short run straight away. Eat Avocado, and maybe a few pieces of fruit later in day. Banana and Oranges, no apples. Apples are dehydrating and sugary. Drink sencha tea at the same time. After your run and food, you'll potentially be low on energy and sluggish. Yeah, don't go out with your siblings tomorrow. It would be fun... But it might distract you from work. Fuck fuck fuck doing this uni work man. My troubleshooting is landing me at this conclusion right now. In order to progress in this book I'm reading, it's looking like I'll have to research and then synthesise about 5 different conceptual threads. Not easy at all. Special relativity is only one of those threads, and I barely grasp that shit and it's shitty notation. I'll have to become a data machine to whatever extent I can, looking at multiple sources and synthesising what I can. It's complete bullshit how I got such little guidance and was told to jump to this anyway. But have faith. You can do this. Power through it nîgger. ALRIGHT FUCK IT, YOU FIGURED OUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FIRST. YOU GOTTA READ ALL OF ELECTROMAGNETISM NIGGA. YEP, ALL OF IT. GO THROUGH THAT ENTIRE MODULE WHICH YOU GOT LUCKY IN. BRIEF VECTOR CALCULUS RECAP AND THEN GO TO EM AND THEN AFTER THAT DO SPECIAL RELATIVITY, AND THEORETICAL PARTICLE PHYSICS. LINEAR ALGEBRA SHIT YOU HAVE TO MASTER ON THE SIDE. BUT THEN EVEN WITH THAT, YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO HAMILTONIAN, CONSTRAINTS, THEN TOTAL HAMILTONIAN, EXTENDED HAMILTONIAN, THEN GENERATING FUNCTIONS. ^^SIFTING THROUGH SYMMETRY AND ACTION PRINCIPLES MODULE FOR THAT, + BRIEF SKIMMING OF CALC OF VARIATIONS YOU HAVE TO SYNTHESISE ALL OF THAT. THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO OVERCOME THIS HURDLE, AND THE ONE WHICH WILL FOLLOW IT AT THE END. AND WHEN I'M DONE I'LL PISS ON EINSTEIN'S GRAVE, FUCK PHYSICS. BUT I HAVE BEEF WITH THAT AUTISTIC nig*** DIRAC FIRST, Alright. Calm it boy. I WON'T CALM IT, NOT UNTILL I SHIT ON DIRAC'S TOMBSTONE. ONLY THEN CAN I BE AT PEACE Do your mandatory report diary entries tomorrow as well. Relax, ask for help from who you can. When you're awake tomorrow, if you can get your brain activated from anxiety, but control and calm it enough, you can be a machine who does it. Alright, do your work after running and eating breakfast tomorrow. Time for me to do my back exercises and stretches before sleeping.

Physics. And no it isn't. I thought I would be a math/physics academic before I started my degree, turns out I don't enjoy the subject so much now

I had a somewhat leisurely 2 week respite from the demons plaguing my mind, but my break is somewhat over. I have to get back to doing my university report/project or else I won't graduate { also, the family is re-united in a clusterfuck of shit and arguing} I find myself contemplating and feeling the rock bottom. This feeling, not sure what to call it or how to look at it. That acknowledgement and introspection seems to have suddenly slowed down its grip over me. I'm on my phone, in this flat, with nothing else on me. I just have to wait till I feel sleepy, and then I sleep. Untill then, maybe I can meditate {for the first time in weeks} I think the key point to take away for you is this. Even if this neurotic energy fades and dissolves a bit, you should use these periods of time that you descend into darkness are learning opportunities. You get plunged into the shadow/unconscious when you don't work with it and make it you. When I act like a pseudo delta-male, and act like a doormat kid again, the shadow bubbles up, and now I'm here. Angry and insane energies dominating my mind. Your anger, contempt, arrogance, lust, sadism, you have to create a bridge between it and your normal persona/ego. Otherwise you'll keep exploding into mood cycles of pseudo-nice and anti-social rage. The shadow will keep haunting you untill you decide to make it you. So let it be, Mujtaba. Let your anger become you, let your hate become you, let your arrogance become you, let your desire/possessiveness become you, let your sadism become you. I keep doing ACIM, but I'm not sure if it's the opposite path. What if ACIM is more pseudo-sacrosanct bullshit? I'll maybe ask or talk to people familiar with ACIM, or people who are into letting go --- It's getting very hard to "know yourself" really. Trying to ascertain your character. It's times and situations like these that I see the fine lines and differences between people and myself. Even if me and another person seem very similar, there are differences which may seem small, but end up precipitating completely different paths and outlooks on life. These small differences and fine lines end up having a world of meaning. And so it is now, I make a prayer. For honesty, and proficiency in expression NB: Remember later on, either pen or digitally, reflect on issue of communication in regards to use of the word "I".

What sort of Zodiac Killer roleplaying is this? It reminds me a lot of that lmao

This overlaps with Society, Environment, Government, Politics section on this forum. I'll preface by saying that I'm making this thread on a whim, and I'm figuring out the point as I type. Also preface by saying I know nothing, and have little understanding of people and sexuality in general. I saw this post by Leo, and it got me thinking a bit. I've had the ideal before "Sex and sexuality shouldn't be a big deal at all. Someone's sexual orientation should be as arbitrary as their favourite ice cream. And the amount of people someone's slept with should also be arbitrary". (I've thought about the issue of sexual orientation in a topic I made months and months ago, so I'll discard considerations of gay/lesbian-ness here) But it seems sex can't be that arbitrary for people {I realise it isn't for myself either}. It's linked to survival. We can go down the route of looking at it evolutionarily. Sex is reproduction and survival. Having kids is a way of surviving after you're dead, and there's pride people get in having kids. And also, it's your partner who will raise your kids (so selection standards there). Idk how exactly sex and gender got invented by evolution, but there's specialisation of roles. Women giving birth and looking after kids, men doing the physical work and being a protector/hunter. At least in the case of humans. So from this perspective, it makes sense why you want a partner who is strong if you're a girl. And men just want good looking women because good looks=good genes? Maybe a biologist knows more how attraction evolved. I can speculate but it doesn't do anything for me. _ _ _ _ _ And then there's the topic of slutiness, promiscuousness, etc. Not sure I understand why/how these became taboos. Maybe someone being a slut is a concern that they might cheat on you, or that they already have someone elses kids. I guess in nature you don't want your woman raising someone elses kids or being with another man, since it takes that woman's attention away from your survival {attention away from you and your kids} There's also this issue of sexual jealousy. I'm not in such a relationship for it to come out, but I know I'm a sexually jealous person. And so are most people, but to degrees and in different ways. I know that if I was with a woman who had a body count of 100, I would feel weird about it. But I don't know why. Why do I have such jealousy and possessiveness in the first place? [There's a very interesting word, "cuck". The fear of being cucked. Hell, there's even cuck fetishes and cuck porn. Weird dynamics going on there.] ^ Someone might interject, and say that in the above situation I considered things in a theoretical vacuum. That I didn't consider what the high body count might mean or correlate to. So if someone has a body count of 100, maybe it means they're not loyal, not committed, they have issues. And those are rational concerns. But that was all prefaced with a "maybe", correlations. Whereas I'm considering what's in the realm of possibilities for humans generally/abstractly So I'm sure it's possible for a woman to be a slut and have nothing wrong with them. But nonetheless, I have possessiveness and jealousy inside of me regarding that. There's also a tangent I could go on about people establish relationships and monogamous relationships in the first place, and people don't just free fall into having orgies or fucking each other freely all the time. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Will sexual promiscuity for both men and women ever become widely accepted or more taboo free? Why or why not? In what way do you believe the survival factors of it will forever shape and make delicate this domain of life, so as for it to not be as completely casual as I've hoped?

Good enough. I just fed you a bullshit placebo anyway hahaha

@Moksha keeping y constant, spin your head in a circle in the x-z plane. Clockwise if you want the dancer to move that way. Do that several times, with force and quickly, and then look back at it

Good question, not really too sure man. Maybe the censors have the sense that being a conspiracy theorist is worse than knowing nothing about a topic. I don't think I ever bought into the Flat Earth. I entertained Hollow Earth. A lot of the extreme conspiratorial thinking seems to be a stage blue thing tbh. When I was a teenage conspiracy theorist, my conspiracy theories were related to Islamic myth and were very fantasy driven. You can look at the style of these YouTube videos and just see what sort of vibe it is. These stories of the illuminati + anti-christ/dajjal, reptilian shapeshifters, NWO, it's like a cult myth that followers are told. { I'm open to there being some truth to the illuminati/NWO theories, I just don't know } Earliest conspiracy theory I heard was when I was only 12 about the world ending in 2012. I was scared about that lol, and I still remember the nightmare I had. A nightmare about the apocalypse, the planets crashed into the earth like meteors, and everyone turned into spirits walking on stairs to ascend to heaven.

@Milos Uzelac Good post. How do you think the rich ended up pulling the ladder from them? (I know that's a hard or vague question to ask). It's just what happened?

@thisintegrated For me, all those models becomes prisons eventually. MBTI for example, becomes a recognition and understanding of some archetypes. If you have a pattern seeking brain which makes connections you'll be drawn to such models, because you'll feel like you're really seeing these patterns. Problem for me is that it becomes like a tumour. My mind can end up ruminating and getting obsessed in random rabbit holes. Repetition of different impressions, feelings and thoughts with vivid imagery. If you ever get to the point where you're starting to see the patterns everywhere you look, it becomes a problem. It means your eyes aren't fresh.

@thisintegrated you don't need to type too much hombre. Yeah his vibe is hella mod-like hahaha. Going with these rough statistics, you're pretty much right about those sticking around being green and yellow.

7th spot Se is a good point, yep

LMAO, "mod-like". I don't think that's a good argument if you're trying to pass it off as one, but if you're talking about his vibes (not his number of posts) well then that's just how you see it. I can see it, but it's just a fun comparison which says nothing meaningful. Knowing or trying to figure out what stage you are isn't important if you've known about SD for a while. There was an obnoxious user many months ago who got very obsessed with spiral dynamics, trying to figure out other people's and his own SD stage constantly. [he eventually got banned] He was just constantly insecure, trying to set up hierarchies about it. Don't fall untill the same trap. It's like people online who overly obsess about IQ or MBTI types

@Carl-Richard Makes sense yeah. Behind my age group as well at almost 21. Similar story here about being immature in most areas of life.

Alright idk your stage, but I know you don't think of yourself as orange, lying ass As far as I go, I've kinda regressed in the last year of my life due to depression, and my shadow coming to surface generally. I probably went from yellow who was touching turquoise, to now just being in touch with shadow a lot. Moreso purple, red, orange, discovering green, etc. In the bigger picture it looks as if I perhaps needed/wanted all of this shadow to surface. Because otherwise, I would have mentally remained as a child more.

Making a thread I may or may not use to record rambles of mine where I try to crystallise multiple threads of thought and intuition. Or I may start off with something and then try to find as many examples, tangents, associations. Haven't decided where or how to keep track and record the random thoughts and connections that pop into my head, so this topic may remain empty. It's been a while since I used my thinking or the such. I've kept my brain away from any thinking or investigation as I laze away consooming YouTube. My brain, verbal speech, analytic intelligence and creativity have all been dormant for the past year or so. I need to get the juices flowing. -- If your mind is in too many places at the same time, considering multiple threads at the same time, it's overwhelming. It can't make you anything other than high strung and random. Truthfully rather, this is how I am right now anyway. This reminds me of your previous ramblings about tornado mind when it gets out of control, I haven't had tornado mind in a while. The floodgates of libido and life force which is usually repressed suddenly opens all at once. The only way out of that then is physical grounding and basal issues. Meditation, addressing anxiety, and finding the higher quality way to use the mind. Finding the higher way to use the mind. That's the ultimate goal.

@UDT Overall man I feel what you're saying. I've learnt to filter out all the references and appeals to authority through spiral dynamics as just noise. When it comes to the matter of language censorship and the such, I'm probably even more extreme than you. My reason for it is simple. I want radical honesty, the embracing of the shadow, overcoming games of pretending.