In Progress

@egoless I can only speak for my own experience but these are two suggestions. 1. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, notice the difference between what you normally get and how long you sleep when you don't set your alarm clock. I used to think I only needed 7 hours and now realize I function much better on 8. 2. So I don't know much about you, I as well have suffered from pretty bad anxiety for the better part of my life. The main reason for this is that I lost touch with the person I wanted to become, with my dreams, my drive. I always thought I had clear dreams but when I really looked inward I noticed my own lack of self-confidence had me expecting high achievement from myself while judging myself for showing desire for these goals. Upon showing this desire when I was younger, I was severely bullied, and since I've judged myself in the same way. Know your goal but also be proud of having it, don't let judgement stop you from wanting it with all your heart. Not sure if this will help you it might be physical as well, if you I have only done weight lifting or aerobics I suggest the other type of exercise

Being strategic is perhaps at the core of becoming a self-actualized person, as it lets us repeatedly make the difficult, but right choices. Imagine yourself becoming a strategic person, picture that person in your mind and try to mirror it (some LOA here). Also try to be aware of when you add emotion to a decision, as this is the greatest downfall on the path to becoming a strategic person. The attachments of emotions to your decisions are usually habitual, catch them as a decision is being made and make the right one instead. Your brain almost gamifies this process, which helps remove some of the emotion of self-judgment and subsequent defensiveness associated with facing one's faulty decision-making.

Even if you don't deserve to be happy, the people around you deserve to have a happier and more self-actualized you. If you can't do it for yourself then do it for them.

The law of attraction is a two-sided coin, one side where you believe you can accomplish something and the other side where you either don't or fear failure because of the Judgment that comes with it. Believing you can do it doesn't make you any better at it, but it makes you try, it makes you stay with it, which is all you really need. 1% of people will have success with their new fitness program, not because only 1% can do it but because only 1% don't give up and follow through

Social pressures and roles tend to stop people from being open with one another, from being frank in conversation to telling a family member they love them. This is certainly worse in the US and several other cultures. I think we can be enlightened as a species if we can break down this barrier more often and engage in real dialogue.

Be you, and enjoy it. Don't be afraid to run. Let your passions carry you forward without fear.

You can call me Joe. I'm hoping my own journey so far and going forward can resonate with some of you. I've really covered the bases when it comes to self-actualization, I swear I know every strategy like the back of my hand - but the changes I've cared about most haven't come. The changes that HAVE happened, have been great. Success with women, presentation skills, healthy diet, etc. But one thing that hasn't changed threatens to root me in place like concrete, for good. There's a cycle, and it begins with getting distracted (riveting I know, just stay with me). I'm now behind on something I was supposed to be working on. I lie and say I've done it - whether this be lying directly or just acting like nothing's the matter. Can't break the facade, which means I can't be seen working on it later. Rather difficult when I have only so much time alone after work, school and research before I see my girlfriend. Don't break the facade, I can just finish it later and make up an excuse as to why it's late (Let me tell you, I'm quite the architect with these.). In the meantime, I've kept myself busy, but with everything EXCEPT what I was supposed to do. Maybe I game, or do 3d modeling, or the news. The time spent on my assignment would have to be explained, if not to someone else than myself - I'd have to face the issue at hand - but even I need to believe the facade. I could finish all the week's work in one night. (I could, I've done it before, but there's no reason in the world to think of that as some dependable occurrence.) As time drags on toward deadlines I can't even put a pencil to a piece of work, or an important email that I have to send. I give up if I start to fail during a day instead of catching myself and switching gears. I'd rather give in and believe that I can't take corrective action than do something about it. Part of this is a tendency to get distracted, but there's something else - something I hope is reversible. When I was kid I used to dream. Sure, I was distractable then too (actually more so) but I didn't have any feeling of resistance when it came to my schoolwork. I loved it. Then middle school came, severe bullying, near suicide, difficulty with parents compounding. I was bullied, at least in part, because I asked too many questions. I liked learning too much. I was the "What-If" kid. What-if the coffee maker could do this? What if the landing craft could do this? What if nature could do this? What if (in math) x could do this? I didn't understand why the abuse was happening, so I aimed the blame inwards and nearly committed suicide at 12. I became anxious, judgemental (toward myself and others), and got most of my drive from keeping up a facade rather than letting my curiosity roam free. As you might guess, keeping up a facade based on lack of effort and ease....isn't sustainable. It was for high school, most of Bioengineering Undergrad. But now, with research, school, work and a girlfriend who just lost her father, the facade can't be sustained. These past couple years, I've tried to use negative thought to force myself to change my actions. The results haven't been good. It's as if I were in a sealed off room, and due to my own breathing I will eventually risk breathing in too high a concentration of CO2. My current strategy would be to hold my breath, to avoid breathing in the CO2 - doesn't work too well, and leaves me with the suffocating emotional feeling I'm all too used to now. Instead, I think I need to reach for the oxygen, and turn on the supply. The oxygen is my..drive. Curiosity, breathing room, whatever you want to call it. Without that flow of oxygen, I'm left with the 2 options I encounter every day: 1. Be paralyzed, suffocate as I stop yourself from taking in any air. 2. Breathe the air that's available - the distractions, the low-engagement entertainment from gaming to news. My need to consume remains, but I'm unwilling to let myself freely do so, out of recollection of what I went through. My biggest hurdle is commitment. My biggest hurdle in accomplishing that is the emotion that I attach to the smallest tasks and decisions. I know that if I can commit to small changes I can avoid the "molehill into a mountain" dilemma. I also know that I need fuel to get me there, and that negativity and self-shaming will do more to fuel the defensive facade than it would productive actions that in their enactment would acknowledge that facade is based on a lie. The ego will always protect itself. And so there's the loop. My goal is to find my dreams again, and form values that will get me there. When these values are strong enough, my daily actions will more easily represent them and the direction I want to go. My goal right now is to be responsible - a small one compared to what I used to have, but perhaps what I need now more than ever. If I can accomplish this one half-decently I should get the momentum I need to do more. Thank you for listening friends, and godspeed. I look forward to knowing you.