Jamie Universe

Well if it is an intellectual argument, then I would just start at any old point, if its gone so deep, then that might mean more work, but unless its somehow a problem (I'm not you) then just start arguing with everything. Question why your questioning.

I second what @Cocolove said

I'm no expert, and don't have a ton of experience on this. But I suggest getting meta with all these, I can understand Nialism (I'm pretty sure I was nialistic at one point but I kind forgot). And I'm pretty sure you've just got to realize its horseshit, chances the sense of "I" which you lack, is just somehow an argument you've made with yourself and believed. All you really need to do is question about what is coming up thats related to dissociation. I'm not you, but I've heard that if you get enlightened its not as depressing as your talking about, so I would check to see if the realization you had, was intellectual or a legit experience, because intellectual arguments can be dismantled and stop the emotions/states that come from them.

building off of what @Truth Addict I would probably aim for just questioning the current beliefs you've already said. I don't think you really need to know where you are on the map to neccesarily know where you need to go (for spiral dynamics not in real life.) its only purpose is to grow.

if your looking for good men to date, I suggest finding venues where people like that would go. For example, maybe volunteer for a good cause, vs. going to a bar. plus I can also relate with not feeling desires anymore, but then one day It stopped. It was a while ago and I don't want to give you bad advice but I believe all suffering involves believing they're bad. Its not so much with the sensations of pain, but the beliefs. and you have control over your beliefs, maybe realize your self-argument for why its bad, I'm pretty sure mine went away from arguing, like literally one day I was like "wait is there actually anything bad right now?". I don't know, this advice may or may not be relevant for you.

I'm not you, and I don't know the situation as well as you do. But as far as changing, the key to break the inevitable laziness barrier (at least for me) was to start off at level 0.001 in what you can do, and then push little boundaries. For example if you wanted to be more responsible, the next time you go to bed without brushing your teeth rise you right arm 10 times up and down, and just tell yourself "I can do something" Since will power I find can be based off of previous life experience, I've been rehearsing and doing work from 7 hours to up to 13 hours a day sometimes, and now I enjoy working harder, and if I wanted to do something really hard I could do it right now, because I know I'm capable, also I think I read somewhere that will power is like a muscle, so starting off where you can and working yourself up, will help you make the changes you want to make. If that doesn't apply the #1 thing to do is identify the problem and its cause, sometimes change is involved by personal beliefs, time problems. There's a lot of factors with motivation/will power - do you think its important? / think about why you aren't doing what you need too - I was very resistant to meditating, then one day I contemplated and the two main things were "why is meditation important?" and "what is preventing me from meditating?" and then after that contemplation I meditated 20 minutes, and started to continue everyday and that was like 2/3 of a year ago - have something to hold yourself too - like a bet, if you lose the bet, than maybe you lose money, there's a reason to care, which results in action As far as for the actual problem I suggest watching Leo's video's on - affirmations / visualizations - how to be a strategic mother fucker - maybe his video about victim thinking

Watch Leo's video on being strategic, it applies to making decisions too. Decisions is just your battle plan coming into action.

So my schedule is tight, basically I'm doing non-personal development work from when I wake up to when I go to sleep. Except lunch, occasionally snack breaks, a hour or two in-between which I have to myself and spend doing low-consciousness things like TV, jerking off, or whatever. And lately it feels like I've been going completely insane, I couldn't fall asleep to 2 Am the other night, and I feel like there's something bad inside of me, and my body starts screaming wanting to get it out, and I'm tossing and turning around trying to get it out sometimes. My 20 minute do-nothing meditation, has been starting to get unbearable near the middle or end. I get that feeling I described above. My hypothesis is that the amount of time of 'low-consciousness' stuff vs. doing actual work (maybe half of it is stuff I don't want to do). Is unbalanced, and my body is screaming for more low consciousness stuff. Maybe I should do an affirmation? I don't really understand this perfectly, maybe I should just power it through? Or is it actually unhealthy?

thanks for the advice everybody

@Shiva Thanks!

sexuality can work on a spectrum, what @thehero could be the case, but for me, I'm slightly heterosexual and mostly gay, and it changed around some for me. I'll occasionally have a heterosexual thought, and for a while I was kind of insecure that I was heterosexual (for many reasons). But, you should know the problem, which isn't the homosexual thoughts, but these feelings of rejection, as a quick tip I would suggest just accepting the thought - literally just say "That's fine" whenever a homosexual thought comes into your brain, as for rejection, I'm not quite sure, but it sounds like a conversation you need to have with yourself about your romantic life, and deal and talk about the negative experience.

@BarkingTurtle cool thanks! that helps a lot

Heyo, so recently I'm in a social situation with at least 3 different people, where they keep trying to talk to me when someone else is talking, and it feels to me like they're trying to grab my full attention constantly. I still like those people but its hard to deal with them when they're doing this, I'm just wondering if anyone was this person, and if you know if you were insecure, or what about the other person made you do this, or if the other person had anything to do with it at all. Or any experience you can share is helpful any other advice would be great too.

one thing I do sometimes, though I'm honestly not sure if it works very well. Is that I'm trying to be creative and I REALLY want to be creative, so instead I try and accept now, without the creativity, and then sometimes I naturally start thinking creatively. in the end your the reason your not being creative.

tell yourself, and make the intention to just not talk about it constantly, and every time it comes up try and remind yourself of your intention. (don't beat yourself up over it though.) Worst case scenario just use an affirmation for it.

yea but that's why I want to know what you've done, because meditation tends to do that. and as far as basing progress off of direct experience I talked down below about it. This idea your explaining - the one that basing conclusions off of direct experience can lead to falsehood, and that truth hood doesn't exist. Has truth in it, but you also have got to realize that the statement "And its all nonevident" is in itself 'nonevident' contradicting the whole idea of everything is nonevident, and being paradoxical.

I do 20 minutes of do-nothing and 5 minutes of mindfulness. and occasionally I'll do an hour of do-nothing for no reason. I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm responding is because I'm guessing I got triggered by it, and my ego stepped in.

You sort of answered my question about meditation, I'm guessing from that part that I highlighted that you meditated for some amount of time and it didn't work after a while. Though I would like to know specifics if your comfortable. And you didn't mention anything on physcadelics. What I'm getting at here, is that I'm open-minded, and so are others here. If you have compelling evidence and reasoning for why people should quit spirituality, then people will listen, so will I. And if you say you've meditated for 20 years everyday for a decent amount of time, meanwhile checking yourself to see if you meditated correctly, you've done several physcadelics and can debunk 'embodying non-dual' somehow (or you've done any other spiritual practice like those), then me and others would honestly listen. So be specific and try and convince me. Oh.. I didn't think of that. Thanks for pointing that out

I feel your pain. Fear doesn't really listen to logic sadly, at least my brain will jump to random conclusions and then soon after you'll realize your wrong, but fear is a bitch. I stopped having these most of the time because I did affirmations for those fears (I was scared socially). Leo has good videos on affirmations if you wanna check them out. Otherwise mindfulness is your long term solution

Hey strangers I'm just gunna jump in Have you done physcadelics? Or how long have you meditated for and that kind of stuff? Because if you've done those things and they didn't work, then that's some solid evidence for your point. I always try and understand their perspective and literally imagining being them, and then I have more sympathy and less judgement for them. It also really helps if you can think of a moment in your life where you've done something similar and then pair them together. @Serotoninluv Thanatos seems kind of right (even though its hypocritical for Thanatos and applies not just to you), I don't know you or Thanatos, but you are arguing or at least trying to get him to 'wake up' through words, but trying to tell someone the truth when they're not accepting it, is arguing (basically). And I could be wrong, but I don't know when I've ever seen arguing work in convincing people to switch sides (That's not entirely true, but at least speaking on a large scale, you can see how arguing doesn't really go anywhere). My advice, sympathize.

@Nahm @Serotoninluv oh shit

@now is forever Gotcha

@Your place at Heart Good for you! I don't know if I'll do it this year because I'll be busy because of school, but I think I'm going to try super-powering my discipline using affirmations and see how it goes.

So I just had this thought, I'm doing a affirmation for school right now that aims towards being responsible. And I remember one of the points in Leo's video about affirmations, and he said "the longer you do it the more you get out of it". And typically the cap is around 3 months. So then I thought - What if I did it for like a year? There's a thing we call a retreat to maybe meditate or do physcadelics or etc. and the fact of doing a retreat is that you (maybe not in all cases) want it to be hard, so you can gain something from it. So if we did an affirmation for being mega-disciplined and we really honed it in to our brains, would we skip out on years of trying to work yourself up on stage turquoise of spiral dynamics? Though I feel there could definitely be other limitations, and some complication's. one for example is authentic desire and motivation vs. discipline. Would I be hurting trying to discipline myself very hard? Or is it more emotionally worth it to take longer but also be happier? This sounds for sure like something to contemplate. But I don't know, any thoughts?

I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm not very experienced with processing something like that, but the only advice I would give is keep thinking about it for as long as you need too. But don't attempt to push it down or anything like that.