Carl-Richard

Does it load now? 3:45 is when the monstrocity of a riff starts (and again, the one after at 4:16 too is a monstrocity). The time starts a bit before where you get the buildup leading to it. I couldn't let that one slide 😤

I'm just trying to judge how far you are from Enlightenment. But anyways. Is there nothing physical going on in your meditation? Do you not get more and more relaxed as your meditation deepens? Do you not feel your muscles becoming more loose and your body becoming lighter? I'm just pointing out that there is a certain logic behind this that you can tap into and that you can become more aware of.

And that's also why you think substance in teaching is problematic, because the distinction between teaching and truth is less firm ("it's all mind so we must limit mind").

Why mindwork? Truth reveals that the mind is an illusion. But of course you will object to this because you usually don't distinguish between the personal and transpersonal.

One time I connected so much with this girl in terms of shared interests, my mind was in denial as it was happening, and instead of pursuing one of the threads, my brain just malfunctioned and responded as if I was talking to someone who didn't have those interests 😂 "Oh so you also used to listen to death metal when falling asleep? Cool... I really like all forms of music..." 😂😂 Or it was just the social stigma with liking death metal that caused some mental block. Anyway 😆

Is there no sense that you're running up against a threshold, that this state seems to be maximizing or self-sustaining? Or is it much more fluctuating or even rare?

Seeing the formless in form, more than ~95% of the time.

And below self-imposed retardation, you have learned helplessness.

Aversion to substance in teaching is a bit like going to war and not using your weapons. You already went to war, you already committed to taking the messy route. If you prefer fighting it with your fists, that's a choice you can make, but don't pretend like it's a noble choice. Self-imposed retardation is still retardation.

Making a response to a forum thread as an attempt to diffuse a complicated topic to hopefully rid seekers of confusion, while invoking your own simplified interpretation of the complicated topic, while signalling that your own contribution is simplifying and not further complicating, is what is complicated.

Transmission is just a fancy word for tuning into and reacting to what you're perceiving (and when the object is another human, it's often called empathy). It's not a magical thing. I feel like I have to constantly say that things are not magical 🤔 As for teachers "actively" transmitting as in creating an intention and a concominant effect, I don't see a problem there. It's like when a girl looks at you like "😏". That's them creating an intention and actively amplifying whatever transmission that was going on passively. And while the teacher might be performing a more subtle move than the girl, even for the girl, some guys are notoriously bad at picking up such subtle cues ("was she hitting on me?") . Do you have spontaneous awakenings outside meditation? Do you feel anywhere close to making the awakened state your baseline state?

You just explained deconstruction. I just gave specific examples of deconstruction. That is not to complicate but to illustrate, although that will also be misunderstood. All pointers will be misunderstood. Yes, sit and notice that when you let things go, sitting becomes easier. It's that simple. But most are unaware how deep letting go, goes. And that depth can be illustrated. Dealing with pointers is an eternal struggle that you do not get out of by "not complicating things". Even simplifying things in the form of a pointer is to complicate things. The very act of pointing is inherently misleading. But some may benefit of certain pointers more than others and at different points in time. That's all that can be said. For those who point, you just throw spaghetti against the wall and see if it sticks. Or you beat them with a Zen stick. That's the game. If you don't want to play, don't.

What do the vibes consist of? How do they make you feel? Also, have you generally tried any energy-based meditations (devotional, kundalini, third eye, etc.)? I think if you learn to provoke and "open up" so to speak your experience to these things, it might be easier to identify "transmission" from teachers. You how some women just destroy your attention towards anything else? That's kinda what Jan Esmann has. If you think of sexual energy but just spreading it across the body, that's one form of energy that you can notice (and a powerful one), and that's what Jan Esmann creates in people. But also just small twitches and movements in your physical body, like subtle fluctuations in muscle tension in your legs, that's another form for energy. All these things have a natural "end" to them, and they want to go "up and out" so to speak. When people speak of the benefits of nofap for spirituality, partially it's because you let the energy go up and out instead of down and out, literally. If I go long enough with sexual activity, I will literally feel the energy instead of trying to exit through my lower areas moving up and into my brain and enhancing my mental clarity. Unwinding energy in meditation is generally about letting all the usual activities that you spend your energy on (down and out) to the side and you let the energy simply work itself out the way it wants when not engaging in any (gross) activities (up and out).

That video in itself is an energetic dose and a half. He is next to things you only hear about in stories from long dead teachers. But we have him live on camera.

Yes, sorry for being poetic lol. Yes, lightly. No difference. Sensation is energy. It's just when the sensation follows a certain dynamic pattern or movement in your body, it's more illustrative to call it energy (because energy is involved with movement). When working with meditation, realist/materialist assumptions are virtually irrelevant. You don't need to think about whether there exists energy "out there" independent of you. That's only a distraction, something to deconstruct. You want to deal with what is readily apparent, right here, right now. I see. I'm talking about very concrete energy/sensations that you can observe right now, but they're subtle, so it helps to stay still. It's nothing magical: it's literally tiny movements across your body.

Do you generally notice anything from watching teachers?

It's breakable by just practicing regularly and with the aim of letting go of things. Gary Weber did it with 20k hours of practice while working as a head of R&D in materials science with a quarter billion dollar budget. But if you want to speed it up, better be unemployed and make it your full-time job.

Another way of increasing your awareness of energy is to engage with highly energetic teachers (or just any teachers). Jan Esmann is the most energetic I've come across. Martin Ball who I mentioned is highly energetic. Sadhguru as well. Another is Mata Amritanandamayi.

To think of deconstruction as a beginner exercise is a misunderstanding. You need to deconstruct a shit ton, again and again in every meditation. Only when you're advanced and on the verge of Enlightenment and the deconstruction is habitual, you can sit and "wait" and amazing things will just happen. But even then, there is often a subtle deconstruction going on at the level of energy:

Is this an episode of Seinfeld?

A large part of letting go or deconstructing in meditation is becoming aware of cycles (of thought) or things you're attached to. For example, when sitting down to meditate, do you notice feeling some pressure to do something later that day or after stopping meditating? Simply tell yourself that there is nothing you need to do, let go of the need of having to do it. Trust yourself that you will do what is needed despite having let go of the need to do it. If you're acting from a place of presence, you will do what is needed when it's needed. You don't need to worry. Simply staying with presence is what you're after in meditation, but these cycles keep taking you out of it if you do not become aware of them. That's what deconstruction is about; allowing presence to unfold by letting go of your compulsive tendencies and attachment to things. And in the end, it's about letting go of everything you ever care about. If you really want to go all the way to Enlightenment, you can't take yourself with you. That's the harsh truth of Enlightenment. If you think you want Enlightenment, you are mistaken. Do you want to see the end of you?

Haha.

What time does a broken non-dual clock always show? One.

I wouldn't worry much about that, as people who consider themselves very developed are mostly just Blue 😆

Pistachio ice cream in your cupboard? Do you live in an igloo?